Always My Soul
by dragonfly-rising
Summary: Why is it always my soul people mess with? Kagome asked herself in a moment of hopeless annoyance.The attack had come with no warning. And in the end Kagome could find no reason why she, Inuyasha, or Miroku should have seen it
1. Always My Soul

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
~Why is it always my soul people mess with? ~ Kagome asked herself in a moment of hopeless annoyance.  
  
The attack had come with no warning. And in the end Kagome could find no reason why she, Inuyasha, or Miroku should have seen it coming.  
  
They had simply been walking along the road. Inuyasha taking the lead as usual, his pace almost too fast. Miroku walking beside her as she pushed her bike along trading inane banter. Shippo and Sango had stayed with Kaede this time helping her with something. Kagome had never really understood the explanation but accepted it with ease since Sango rarely chose to stay behind unless it was important. So the trio had set off to search for more jewel shards almost in a good mood, with the exception of Inuyasha who quiet frankly rarely showed signs of good moods.  
  
Kagome had been laughing at some offhanded joke of Miroku's when a feeling of vertigo had swept over her and she had fainted.  
  
When she woke she found they had fallen into the hands of a witch, Yensa, who seemed to be obsessed with revealing people's truest forms for all the world to see and her newest target was Kagome herself.  
  
Yensa hovered over the lip of the pit she had placed Kagome in, her wild eyes shifting restlessly over the girl's body. Kagome stared up at her angrily. Her hands tightened into small fists. Inuyasha and Miroku were suspended along the upper wall of the cave they were in, held by some magical bands around their chests, wrists and ankles. Both men were yelling at Yensa who simply ignored the tirade of threats being issued at her, the worst of which came from Inuyasha.  
  
"It won't hurt my dear", Yensa cackled "You'll thank me for this later" "I doubt it" Kagome fired back angrily. Yensa nodded her head as if Kagome had said something agreeable and reached into her robe. Kagome took a futile step back as Yensa revealed a black, hand mirror. The glass of it glowed a sickly green. Kagome almost gasped at the evil energy that seemed to flow from it. "Don't Yensa, don't use that on me" Kagome pleaded, wondering at the hard edge in her voice. "But I must it is what I do. You will be truly alive for the first time in your life Kagome. Your soul will finally be revealed for all to see" Yensa answered gleefully.  
  
~But my soul isn't whole...what if your powers make me into something horrible? ~ She had no idea how to express this to the insane witch. How could she explain something she barely understood herself? How could she even mention Kikyo in front of Inuyasha to a perfect stranger? What was this feeling that was rising inside her, as if something were reaching desperately out to her from inside her soul.  
  
Kagome's hand unconsciously went to her chest as the pressure inside grew. Her eyes instinctively swept up to Inuyasha. His smoldering amber eyes met her gaze. His anger had played out as much as it could to the no responsive audience. Even his attempts to free himself had stop. It was almost as if he had stop breathing. Was his mind playing similar thoughts? Was he thinking of her partial soul? And still the pressure inside her increased, like a cry building until it was unleashed.  
  
Yensa turned the mirror's glass towards her. Kagome's mouth opened in protest but no sound came out. Inuyasha's roar was the last thing she heard before a wall of black/green fire seemed to sweep over her and through her entire being.  
  
"KAGOME!!!!!" 


	2. Kagome?

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Inuyasha strained against the bindings that held him to the cave wall as the magic engulfed Kagome. His throat burned from shouting her name seconds ago. His mind couldn't conceive what was happening below him. To Kagome, the one he had sworn to protect. He berated himself internally for not having noticed something was wrong. He stopped in his straining, as a light seemed to erupt from the black/green wash of magic that surrounded Kagome. His sharp eyes easily picked up her figure yet it seemed there were two people overlapping each other. One standing exactly as Kagome had been, her hand to her chest, face turned away in anticipation of the magic. The other crouching in an almost defensive stance, and what looked like a sword jutted to the figure's side.  
  
"What the hell?" he asked aloud, his voice hushed. "What's happening to her?" Miroku demanded in a louder voice of Yensa.  
  
Yensa turned to look up at them and Inuyasha glared at the witch for a moment before his eyes returned to Kagome's forms. The old woman cackled with glee and danced away from them, around to the other side of the pit. Once there she crouched down, seeming consumed by what was going on in it.  
  
"Her soul is emerging monk" Yensa answered finally, gazing up at them again "Her true soul, how she was meant to be in this world. For good or ill this girl is changed now. Perhaps the hanyou would like a closer inspection?"  
  
Inuyasha gasped as his bindings detached from the wall and sped him over to the witch's side. He growled low in his throat wanting to tear her throat out. She seemed unaffected by his sounds of menace.  
  
"She is a miko, no?" the witch asked, her voice filled with a strange sort of gloating "She's Kagome you hag!" Inuyasha insisted angrily his eyes drawn to the pit against his will.  
  
Inside it the figure of the first Kagome seemed to be fading, the other still draped in shadow from the magic was becoming more solid. Yensa turned her mirror to the pit again and the magic rushed back into it. Inuyasha felt his brow furrow as he studied the new form. It was a female, her hair drawn back tightly into a bun from which two green ribbons flowed. Her clothing was of a style he had never seen before, tight fitting, and all black. A sword sheath was at her side, the hilt of the sword rested in her hand. Slowly the figure stood up and looked at him.  
  
"Kagome?" he breathed, in shock. Her face was calm, almost serene. Her eyes met his and he got the second shock of his life. Her eyes seemed a mass of misty miko energy that leaked in soft clouds around them. He jerked back involuntarily from the raw energy coming from her in almost painful waves. Yensa cackled at his side.  
  
"What the hell did you do to her???" Inuyasha growled. "I have perfected her. Come my child" the witch encouraged Kagome from the pit. Kagome's smoky eyes regarded the witch momentarily before she sprang from the pit in one powerful jump, landing on the other side of Yensa. Inuyasha couldn't take his eyes off of her, her entire being seemed changed. How could this be his Kagome?  
  
"I have a present for you Kagome...a hanyou" Yensa said, a vile sound. Again Kagome's eyes went to him and he felt a moments panic. What if Kagome didn't know who he was at all? What if Yensa's magic had taken all of her memories away? Kagome tilted her head slightly to one side; a small half smile touched her lips. It was such an unfamiliar movement that Inuyasha began to tense already imagining that he could feel her blade slip into his chest. "His name is Inuyasha" Kagome asserted, her voice matured somehow. Inuyasha blinked in surprise. Yensa stepped back from Kagome, her glee turning to worry. Kagome turned to the witch fully and put a hand on her shoulder, almost as an afterthought. A burst of miko energy came from the place where Kagome was touching Yensa, who let out a deafening scream of pain. The bindings that held Inuyasha still suddenly released him and he fell barely registering the surprise yelp from Miroku as he fell too. Within a heartbeat Yensa was reduced to ash and Kagome stood over the remains, seeming deep in thought.  
  
Inuyasha warily stood up, looking at Miroku who approached cautiously. They traded uncertain looks.  
  
"Kagome?" Miroku ventured finally. Inuyasha took a step towards her before she finally turned. Her eyes were normal again. The deep brown of them set his heart a little slower. Her face though was a mask of calm, more like...Kikyo than Kagome. "Its gone" she whispered, her brow coming down a little. "What's gone?" Miroku asked. "The mirror...it's gone...I'm gone" She answered. Miroku traded looks again with Inuyasha who shrugged, he was just as unsure as the monk was at the moment. He didn't even really want to be near Kagome let alone talk to her. Her miko powers scared him deeply and the flippant way she had destroyed Yensa only added to it. He hated himself for the way he felt but he couldn't help it. His instincts told him to run and he was fighting them with everything he had inside of him just to stay standing there. Miroku glowered at him and he could read the monk's mind. ~ Coward, help me figure out what is going on! ~ ~ I can't ~, he answered back silently looking away  
  
Kagome closed her eyes for a moment then reopened them with a short sigh. Miroku took a step closer to her but jerked back as if pained. His hand went to his prayer beads, covering them protectively. Kagome's eyes widened slightly and she stepped back from the monk. Confused Inuyasha attempted to move to Miroku's side; Kagome's voice froze him in place.  
  
"Don't Inuyasha...don't come any closer I might kill you accidentally" 


	3. The Power Reaches Out

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Kagome barely held herself still as she looked at Inuyasha's face. He had listened to her warning and stopped moving. She could feel her miko power churning inside her, reacting to his half demon side. She took another step back; hoping distance would calm the waves of energy begging to be released against the demon, against the one with the curse. Her eyes shifted to Miroku who was looking at her uneasily, clenching, and unclenching his cursed hand. She was confused as to why her powers would wish to harm a human; she had thought them to be more apt to react to Inuyasha then to Miroku. She couldn't deny the fact that when the monk had moved towards her the power simply leapt at him and she had been hard pressed to subdue the reaction. She felt hopelessly lost and wanted to run into Inuyasha's arm for reassurance but knew the moment she touched him she wouldn't be able to save him from herself. He would die by her hands if she weren't strong enough to resist that idea.  
  
A small flare of pain in her temple made Kagome lift her hand to her forehead. A steady thrum, sounding almost like heartbeats reverberated in her ears. Many different heartbeats, all were demanding her attention. She could feel the torrent of power trying to move through her again and she squashed it mercilessly, causing the pain in her temple to become steadily worse.  
  
"Kagome, we must get you to Kaede" Miroku insisted.  
  
~ Yes Kaede, she could help me. ~  
  
She shook her head slightly trying to reduce the thrumming in her ears only to find her senses sharpen so that she heard one steady heartbeat above the others. One that was close enough to her to make her whole body beat in time with it. She looked over at Inuyasha in half amazement.  
  
"I can hear your heart," She whispered, her voice sounding strange to her own ears.  
  
Inuyasha's ears lay back, " You can hear my heart?"  
  
"Yes...your heart. I can hear so many but yours...I think I can hear demon's hearts" She said in wonder.  
  
"Kikyo could never..." he began but stopped as Kagome's eyes flashed dangerously.  
  
"Kikyo couldn't do half the things I can now Inuyasha" Kagome returned, her voice cold.  
  
Something inside her had tensed the moment Inuyasha mentioned Kikyo. She hadn't wanted to react in such a way. He was after all only pointing out the differences, and yet just the mention of the dead miko's name caused Kagome to almost lose her precarious control over her powers. She breathed deeply and regained her composure.  
  
She didn't want a repeat of that reaction so she turned and walked away from the pit towards the entrance of the cave, hoping Inuyasha wouldn't say that name to her again until they had figured out a way to get her back to her old self.  
  
"Kagome wait!" Inuyasha ordered sounding more like his old self.  
  
She stopped and turned to him. As he advanced her powers flared and she cried out in fear, wrapping her arms around herself. Inuyasha stopped where he was, a look of concern crossing his face. She felt sweat bead on her forehead as she bit into her lip, wrestling with the tides of power until they subsided. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, finally picking her head up to look at her companions who were so obviously torn between rushing to her aid and preserving their own lives.  
  
"I'm sorry" she said at last.  
  
"For what!?" Miroku asked confused.  
  
"I can't control it very well. Whatever she did to me...it's awakened my powers to an almost uncontrollable amount. I don't want to hurt you...either of you. Just stay back from me until I can handle it better." She ordered.  
  
Miroku nodded. Inuyasha scowled but slightly dipped his head not liking the idea at all. Kagome almost allowed a smile to cross her lips. Trust Inuyasha to be annoyed with her even when she could kill him just by touching him. It settled her mind somewhat for him to react in such a normal way to a situation concerning her.  
  
"Lets get you to Kaede, then we'll talk" he said, the scowl remaining on his face. 


	4. An Almost Fatal Mistake

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
If the situation had happened to anyone else Kagome would've chalked it up to no sleep, but it didn't. Since it hadn't her sense of guilt was almost unbearable. Not that anything actually happened, it just could have happened and that was an awful thought.  
  
After 3 days of traveling she, Inuyasha and Miroku crested the hill above Kaede's village. Her mind was muddled since she had yet to have more then a full hour worth of sleep. Nightmares plagued her subconscious mind. She was tired of the looks that passed between Inuyasha and Miroku then were cast back at her. She was tired of the constant headache. She was tired of forcibly pushing her miko powers down. She was tired of fighting her mind's bent towards going off and silencing every youkai's heartbeat that she heard. She was tired of her own heartache of being denied comfort by her companions. She understood they had no idea how to show her such a thing but she couldn't help but feel cut off from them. A completely separate being that was denied even the simplest of touches because her power might kill one of them.  
  
Her eyes drifted to Inuyasha's back and she sighed internally. He hadn't said more then two words to her since they had left Yensa's cave. His entire attitude had almost totally reverted back to how he had acted when they first met, not the angry part it was the lack of connection that was tearing at her heart.  
  
~ It's my fault. ~ She thought sadly ~ I should've been stronger; I should've been able to resist the spell Yensa cast on me. ~  
  
She knew that thought was absurd but she couldn't help how she felt. Her brow furrowed as her mind tried to turn Inuyasha into an enemy. This thought was not new to her, it had been a steady companion since the cave, and she had been fighting its affect on how she viewed the hanyou.  
  
~ NO ~ She told herself stubbornly ~His name is Inuyasha! How can I think of him as an enemy and love him at the same time? ~  
  
As caught up as she was in these thoughts she failed to notice Inuyasha's ears prick forward as if hearing something. She failed to feel the approach of a youkai, but her body reacted of its own accord.  
  
"Kagome!" yelled Shippo happily as he raced towards her arms flung wide.  
  
If Inuyasha hadn't realized the danger to the kitsune, if Miroku hadn't cried out in warning, if she hadn't reacted as fast and as ruthlessly as she did Shippo would've died. As it was her head snapped up just as Miroku said "Shippo", Inuyasha raced forward and scooped up the kid, and Kagome found she had it in herself to cause herself great harm.  
  
Her power flared so wildly she could not squash it, and so she turned the building energy onto herself. Searing pain brought a scream from her that even she cringed from. She fell to her knees, and collapsed into the dirt, curling in on herself. Her skin burned like acid was being poured on it. Tears of pain rolled down her face as she gasped for air, trying to force her lungs to keep moving, they were fighting her. She wanted to faint but her body refused her such an easy escape from the torment. She barely registered Inuyasha explaining what was wrong with her to Shippo and Sango, who had just arrived.  
  
~ Sango! ~  
  
She could touch Sango. Sango could help her, if only just to help her deal with the pain.  
  
"Sango" She cried out, knowing it sounded pitiful, but not caring.  
  
Almost immediately she felt the youkai hunter's hands on her shoulders and the pain abated enough for her to pull a few less labored breaths. Kagome uncurled enough to collapse against her friend finding refuge in the physical contact. Sango's body supported her with ease and a cool hand went to her brow, wiping the sweat away. Just this small comforting motion caused the pain to recede in waves until finally stopping. Kagome found herself shivering in Sango's embrace. Sango was speaking to her in a soothing voice and she realized her friend had been speaking to her in that way the whole time.  
  
"Better now?" Sango asked.  
  
Kagome nodded weakly, her powers seeming to have been depleted by the attack on herself. She stayed where she was for a few moments longer, amazing herself with the need to be this close to anyone. She pushed herself up off of Sango with regret, and squared her shoulders as best she could. Sango looked at her worriedly.  
  
"I've never seen such power Kagome," She said in awe.  
  
Kagome bit her lip against the arrogant statement that begged to be said. She was losing herself in this persona. This wasn't who she was, not this hater of all youkai and cursed, not this self-important miko ready to berate anyone beneath her. Everything was changing inside her and she hated it.  
  
She stood up slowly, taking stock of her body, hoping she hadn't done herself any permanent damage. She felt fine other than the weakness. She looked at Shippo who was still in Inuyasha's arms. The poor boy looked so crestfallen, yet he clung to Inuyasha as if he needed the comfort even from the hanyou.  
  
"I'm sorry Shippo," She said wearily.  
  
"Kaede will make you better Kagome" Shippo insisted.  
  
"I hope so" was all she could reply, her heart telling her that there was probably nothing the old woman could do. 


	5. A Soul's Flame

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed my story and I really appreciate the advice.  
  
Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Inuyasha stared at the small hut intently, his ears straining to pick up every word of the conversation going on inside.  
  
After the near miss with Shippo Kagome had insisted they hurry to Kaede's. Inuyasha easily picked up the guilt on her face when she passed him, going out of her way to avoid coming to near, and he felt even more unsure of his role in all of this. Kagome couldn't stay this way, could she? If so where did he fit into all of this? She had become more then capable of handling youkai herself, and there was the sword at her side to consider. True she had yet to try and use it but she seemed so self assured when it had come to her using her new powers, couldn't this transformation also have provided her with abilities to wield her sword properly and effectively?  
  
A new thought occurred to him and his stomach twisted in reaction. What if Kagome decided to go off on her own to find the jewel shards!? She couldn't take Shippo, Miroku, or Kirara with her. There had been times during their journey here that he had definitely gotten the feeling that Kagome wished she were alone. At the time he had been more concerned with getting her to the village and hadn't talked to her about it. Now he thought it might have been a mistake for him to be so silent for so long. He knew Kagome trusted his opinion and yet he had given her no real words of advice not once.  
  
He cast a glance over at Miroku who was watching the hut as well; Shippo sat on the monk's lap obviously disturbed by not being allowed near the hut, near Kagome. Miroku didn't seem like he minded the kitsune's extra attention, in fact he seemed quiet content. Inuyasha felt a small smile tug at his lips. Miroku would make a good father someday, one that gave attention without really thinking about it. That thought almost made Inuyasha hit himself. Why did he care what kind of father the monk would be?  
  
" The hell I will!"  
  
The exclamation made Inuyasha jump to his feet. Kagome stormed out of the hut, her miko energy flaring wildly around her body. She didn't seem to notice. Kaede and Sango exited the hut right after her.  
  
"It may be the only way child" Kaede insisted.  
  
Kagome rounded on the old woman, anger in her every movement. Her eyes were clouded again in mist, glowing faintly pink.  
  
"I will not seal my powers! I will not be reduced to nothing! I will not leave myself defenseless! That isn't a choice, it's a death sentence, and you know it hag!" She roared back at Kaede.  
  
"Kagome!" Inuyasha admonished, shocked beyond thought at her outburst.  
  
"Stay out of this hanyou!" Kagome ordered  
  
His ears went back in anger, she had never referred to him as a hanyou, and it cut him deeply.  
  
"Who the hell do you think you are talking to wench!?" Inuyasha heard himself respond.  
  
Kagome ignored him completely and he felt himself twitch with new anger. She wasn't acting like herself at all. In fact she was acting more like him.  
  
"Kagome please listen to Kaede, she doesn't mean you harm, she is only trying to help" Sango ventured, tense because of Kagome's change.  
  
Kagome seemed to deflate, her power ebbing back inside of her. Her eyes cleared once again of the mist. Her hand went to her mouth in horror and he knew she had not meant a word that she had said in anger.  
  
"I'm so sorry Kaede, Inuyasha. I didn't mean to say those things. They just came out." She begged, tears in her eyes.  
  
"Kagome there is nothing to forgive. These powers of yours they have a mind of their own and will seek any outlet. You must remain in control child. I know it is difficult but you have no choice until there is a way found to return you to your normal self." Kaede said gently.  
  
"I can't stay like this Kaede, I can't. I can feel myself dying, being eaten away. What if...what if because I have only a partial soul what Yensa did to me isn't reversible?" Kagome asked fearfully.  
  
Kagome's fears hit Inuyasha harder then he had imagined anything could. Was it possible? Could the reason she was like this be that Kikyo had part of her soul? And if that was the case could they do anything at all besides the obvious to prevent their Kagome from disappearing inside this new person?  
  
"I have no answers for you child. I do not completely understand what has happened to you nor why. All I know is that your soul, the essence of your very being is no longer locked inside of you. And this is a very dangerous state to be in. Our souls burn brightly like newborn fire, kept at bay by being controlled by our hearts. Without your heart in control you will continue to flare, each time hotter and faster until..." here Kaede trailed off.  
  
"Until what Kaede?" Kagome asked, her voice soft in hurt.  
  
"Until that is all you are child. A living flame. Uncontrolled. You will have no thought except those your powers give you." Kaede answered, her voice rough.  
  
Kagome's eyes cut to Inuyasha's and he could almost read the thought in her mind.  
  
~ Then I'll kill you ~ 


	6. To Save Inuyasha From Herself

A/N: Thanks again for the reviews they really did help me.  
  
Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Kagome knew Inuyasha could read her face the moment his eyes flashed in stubborn denial. At that moment she didn't think she could've loved him anymore then she did. His stubbornness had taken them through many close situations and if he wasn't willing to give in to her fate then neither was she. With renewed hope she looked back at Kaede.  
  
"Do you know anyone who may be able to help her Kaede?" Inuyasha asked respectfully.  
  
If the situation hadn't been so tense Kagome would've thought Inuyasha had lost his mind. He rarely if ever spoke respectfully to Kaede.  
  
~ He's worried, very worried ~ She thought and enjoyed the small sliver of warmth that flowed into her with the new knowledge that he cared about her.  
  
Kaede thought for several moments and Kagome resisted the urge to strangle the old woman.  
  
" There might be one...Usuti...a priest. He is a guardian of the soul. He may be able to help. I am uncertain if his abilities encompass what has happened to Kagome," She finally answered gravely.  
  
"Where can we find this priest?" Miroku asked rising and setting Shippo down.  
  
Kagome felt a moment of panic " I'm going on my own"  
  
"I don't think so Kagome" Inuyasha spat.  
  
She glared at him "You have no idea how difficult it was for me not to hurt the two of you on our way back here"  
  
He shrugged nonchalantly " And you have no idea what it will take for me to allow you to go off on your own"  
  
"Allow?" She asked incredulous  
  
"Kagome, we are all very worried about you. We've always helped each other out when it came to things like this, please allow us to be your companions. Allow us to help you through this, please." Sango begged gently walking up to her.  
  
Tears came to her eyes, as her heart filled with wonder at how these people could be so brave just for her sake. And yet her mind whirled with possible negative outcomes. She shivered uncontrollably for a moment as visions of death came to her.  
  
"Kagome, you don't have a choice. We're coming with you" Miroku insisted and then smiled openly " Besides I know the way"  
  
"Not Shippo or Kirara...I can't...not with my body responding the way it is. I can barely stop myself with only two of you. And they are full blooded youkai." She hadn't meant it as an insult but she caught Inuyasha's ear twitching.  
  
"I want to come with!" Shippo whined.  
  
"He will stay with me Kagome" Kaede overrode his demands.  
  
The kitsune pouted and glared at Inuyasha. Inuyasha sighed and knelt down in front of Shippo looking at him seriously. Surprised Kagome only watched as Inuyasha went about installing Shippo as the guardian of Kaede in their absence. She didn't understand why suddenly Inuyasha was being kinder to Shippo but she wasn't about to question it incase he stopped.  
  
Later that day She, Inuyasha, Miroku, and Sango set off towards a place called the Temple of the Soul. Inuyasha took the lead as usual and Kagome walked beside Sango. Before they had left Kaede had given Kagome a small charm to wear around her neck. It was a bone with the symbol for shield carved into it attached to a thin leather strap. It allowed Kagome to control her powers a little, just enough so that she could be in contact with Inuyasha or Miroku and not harm them without willing herself to. It gave Kagome a sense of security. Her power fought against the charms affects but could not overcome the power of the spell set into it. Kaede had refused to answer any questions about the charm leading Kagome to believe it was something she didn't really want to know.  
  
The sun was just beginning to set when they found a place to camp for the night. Though exhausted Kagome found she could not make herself relax enough to sleep. After the others drifted off she rose from her place beneath a tree and walked a few paces off so that she could look at the moon without anything in the way.  
  
The moon was only a sliver in the sky and Kagome leaned against a nearby tree as she gazed at it. Her inner turmoil had not faltered in the least. The longer she was in this state the less and less she could distinguish between her thoughts and the miko energy lashing inside of her. It seemed to never sleep, or really abate. She may have drained it earlier that day but not so much that it hadn't come back full force the moment she had become angry in Kaede's hut.  
  
~* flashback *~  
  
"There is no way for me to change what has happened to you" Kaede said solemnly.  
  
Kagome felt her hope fade from her heart. Kaede was very knowledgeable of all things miko and if she had no clue how to stop this then there may be no way for her to change back. Kagome slumped down in defeat.  
  
"You may have to seal away your powers child before they consume you" the old woman continued.  
  
Resentment flared inside of Kagome, "Why? I haven't hurt anyone yet..."  
  
"Yet...no you have shown extreme control but you may lose that control and it will not be you who pays for it," Kaede warned " Not even my sister had power such as yours, there is no telling what will happen to you. You don't even fully understand your powers and to have them enhanced in this way may well lead to many deaths. There is nothing more dangerous then an untrained powerful miko. You must understand what you are now. You must seal away your power before it consumes you."  
  
Kagome scowled at Kaede her anger building as her power answered for her, "The hell I will!"  
  
~* end flashback *~  
  
Kagome felt the blush creep to her cheeks as she recalled how she had spoken to Kaede. The whole thing seemed like a nightmare that she couldn't wake up from. She closed her eyes in pain as the heartbeats she could heat became stronger insisting her attention. Her miko energy flared inside her body demanding to be used against the youkai nearby. To be used against the hanyou in the tree watching her with his intense amber eyes. Against the monk who slept on the ground, his right hand wrapped in prayer beads. She put a hand to her head trying to calm the insistent demands of her body.  
  
A small thud made her snap her head up and turn slightly. Inuyasha had landed behind her, his face a play of shadows. She narrowed her eyes at him. He stepped more fully into the scant moonlight and she saw that his expression was troubled. She twisted her head back to look at the moon, praying he left before she said something wrong.  
  
"Couldn't sleep?" He asked innocently enough.  
  
"No...you?"  
  
"No"  
  
Kagome could feel he wanted to say something but she wasn't about to open her mouth for fear something vile would come out. Inuyasha sighed quietly behind her.  
  
"Kagome...I'm sorry"  
  
Her eyes widened in surprise " For what?"  
  
"I failed you..."  
  
She turned to him and took in his stance. His posture screamed guilt and he was looking at the ground. At the same time her heart was breaking for him she felt another more powerful thought rip through her.  
  
~ Subdue him...kill the hanyou...he is nothing but a beast...use your powers to their full extent against him ~  
  
Kagome stepped back full of revulsion for the thought even as her eyes strayed to his prayer beads.  
  
~ It would be so easy. Force him to sit and burn him with everything I have ~  
  
She shut her eyes ", get away from me Inuyasha. just get away"  
  
"What's wrong with you?"  
  
The voice inside her head was so seductive that she felt her mouth open to say the word, instead she put a hand up pooling her power for one simple task. 


	7. Those Are MINE!

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Inuyasha stepped back hurriedly as Kagome's raised hand began to glow with energy. Her brown eyes faded, becoming what he was now thinking of as her "misty eyes". Fear began to build inside his heart. He didn't understand what was going on, he had come over to apologize to her, and what does he get in return?!  
  
"Kagome..." he stuttered " Kagome what are you doing?"  
  
Her brows came together in concentration and he started thinking of ways to get away from a crazed miko out for his blood. He yelped as something tugged and then fell away from his neck. In astonishment he watched the beads of his very own prayer beads fly over to Kagome's glowing hand and then reform into the necklace that had been around his neck.  
  
Later he would berate himself a million times for how he felt watching her hands curl around HIS prayer beads. His first reaction was to put his hands to his neck. Yep those were his prayer beads in her small hand.  
  
HIS PRAYER BEADS! HOW DARE SHE TAKE SOMETHING THAT WAS HIS!  
  
"What the HELL do you think you are doing?!" he roared at her.  
  
Her eyes, slowly changing back to brown widened.  
  
"I...I had to Inuyasha" she stammered this time looking uncertainly at him.  
  
"Those are mine not yours you had no right to take them!" he roared again.  
  
A small part of his brain was trying to kick him into waking up. It insisted it was a VERY good thing to have the prayer beads gone, that he WANTED the prayer beads gone. She couldn't "sit" him anymore. It tried and failed to be perfectly happy with the idea. The larger part of his brain was beyond that kind of rational thinking. All he knew was that those beads connected him and Kagome in a way he was not EVER willing to give up. To have her take them from him was a form of her letting him go and he was NOT allowing that to happen.  
  
He snatched the prayer beads out of her hand rudely and stepped away from her. They felt empty to him; the spell on them was broken. Again the small part tried to have a party about it but he could not get rid of the feeling that now there was no purpose for him at all in Kagome's life. That this was devastating came only as a minor shock, he wasn't dumb. A long time ago he had realized how much Kagome really meant to him, he just wasn't willing to admit it out loud. He had yet to release himself from the obligation he felt towards Kikyo but he knew Kikyo was his past, Kagome was his future.  
  
He gritted his teeth against the wave of sorrow he felt as he looked down at the red prayer beads.  
  
"I had to Inuyasha" Kagome whispered behind him.  
  
"Why?" he asked gruffly, refusing to turn and look at her.  
  
"Please don't ask me that...don't ever ask me that again", She answered, her voice filled with self-loathing.  
  
Now he did turn and look at her. She was looking at the ground, her arms wrapped around herself. She was every bit his Kagome in that moment and he released a sigh that seemed to shake him from head to foot. She looked up at him and tears were in her eyes. He stepped up to her without thought and caught her up into his arms. Her shoulders heaved and then she was crying. He held her a little tighter wondering what exactly he was supposed to do now, and then began stroking her hair as he had seen Sango do to some child in a village when it needed comfort. She spoke as she sobbed and Inuyasha listened in stunned silence to her words.  
  
"It wants me to kill you. I had to take them off. I had to give you a fighting chance. I couldn't stand it if I killed you by using those against you. At least without them you have a chance against me. A chance to kill me if I go after you."  
  
"I could never..." he began  
  
She pushed off of his chest and met his eyes steadily. He allowed his arms to fall away from her even though he really wanted to hold her longer. Her gaze was intense and he felt his own body tense as a result of the determination in her eyes.  
  
"Promise me Inuyasha"  
  
"Promise you what?" he asked knowing full well what she was asking for.  
  
"Promise me that if I go after you you'll fight me and not let me kill you," she demanded.  
  
"The hell I will" he responded angrily.  
  
Her face became cold and she stepped further away from him, his mind cried out at the change in her.  
  
"Useless hanyou. Why do you insist on this charade? I asked you something simple and you can't even give me the satisfaction of a real fight."  
  
"A real fight? You have no idea what that is?" he shot back.  
  
Her hand went to the hilt of her sword and Inuyasha reacted putting his hand on Tetsusaiga. Coughs off to the side made both of them jump and turn. Sango and Miroku stood there watching them with confused looks on their faces.  
  
"We fall asleep and the two of you decided its "play with the swords" time?" Sango asked sarcastically.  
  
Both of them looked at each other then away, blushing.  
  
"Perhaps it is some mating custom from Kagome's time?" Miroku offered  
  
Sango slapped him "Pervert"  
  
She walked away leaving Miroku behind rubbing his cheek. The monk looked at Kagome and Inuyasha, his face becoming serious.  
  
"Don't we have enough problems without the two of you slicing each other up?"  
  
"She started it" Inuyasha insisted  
  
"I was going to finish it too" Kagome said under her breath.  
  
"Wench!" Inuyasha yelled then bound away, happy to have the last word.  
  
He didn't look back, so he missed the faint smile on Kagome's face as she watched him leave. 


	8. Of Miroku And Kagome's Friendship

A/N: I'm having so much fun with this story.. I might not update for another day after this but by Sunday I will have more up...well Sunday night anyway...if I don't get stuck lol..Thanks to everyone for the encouragement I never expected to get such a response. Happy reading, be safe. ~ dragonfly-rising ~  
  
Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters.  
  
~ This isn't going well at all ~ Miroku thought as he caught Kagome rubbing at her temples for the fiftieth time that afternoon.  
  
He had imagined that after that night when Kagome and Inuyasha had been ready to draw their swords on each other that perhaps Kagome would be more vigilant in keeping her new personality in check. In the three days since he realized it had only been a catalyst to her changes. He and Sango had not failed to notice Inuyasha's prayer beads were now wrapped around his wrist instead of around his neck. This in itself caused Miroku to keep watch over Kagome's attitudes towards all of them and what he had witnessed so far made he very uneasy.  
  
The girl he had first met was almost completely gone now. Even her body language had changed. Miroku couldn't help but miss his friend and confidant. As unusual as it seemed he and Kagome had become very close, normally taking long walks alone just to talk out things on their minds. She had even approached him over a personal matter that had been the beginning of their close friendship.  
  
~* flashback *~  
  
"What's wrong with how often you blush?" He asked, smiling but a little confused.  
  
Kagome blushed then and he laughed good-naturedly finding it very becoming. She looked down seeming to collect her thoughts.  
  
"See that's the problem. I get angry I blush. I get happy I blush. There is a time and a place for it you know. I'm just tiered of it happening all the time."  
  
Miroku's smile broadened but he spoke in a serious tone, " If its what you want then I'll gladly help but I warn you the only way I know how to stop it is for you to get use to the things that make you blush in the first place."  
  
She glanced up at him and he caught the glint of wariness in her eyes. He wasn't insulted. If he were she he would be wary of him too. Obviously she trusted him more then he had thought because she squared her shoulders bravely and returned his smile with one of her own.  
  
"Thank you Miroku"  
  
He chuckled evilly,  
  
"Don't thank me yet Kagome, you might hate me soon"  
  
He had started that day by helping her up from the ground with an attentive hand *blush* swept her into a simple hug *blush harder * then smiled at her fondly *painful blush *.  
  
"Your first problem is obviously attention from males. No reason to be ashamed of it but I know if I was Sango you wouldn't be reacting that way. You are unsure when being the center of attention in this way. Have a little confidence Kagome. You are a beautiful, intelligent young woman. Sometimes these types of attention are only meant as a friendly expression and that's all. You should know that. I have been subjected to you spontaneous displays of affection many times, you aren't the only one prone to them."  
  
Her blush had only deepened as he spoke but in spite of that she chuckled, "is that what you call those gropes of yours? Spontaneous displays of affection?"  
  
"Of course, isn't that what you think they are?" He asked innocently, knowing full well she didn't.  
  
Kagome burst out laughing her blush lightening and he joined her feeling comfortable.  
  
~*end flashback*~  
  
He missed his friend very much at that moment as he thought back on that first intimacy. A sharp pain in his right hand made him wince. He flexed it and the pain disappeared. His brow furrowed in concern but since the pain disappeared he just filed it away in his mind to think of later. He looked up and met Kagome's brown eyes. She was looking at him with something between concern and suspicion. He swallowed convulsively uncomfortable with her scrutiny. He recognized the look she was giving him. It was her "should I say something or wait" look. Out of habit he barely shook his head and half smiled at her. It was a strange way to communicate but between them they had developed this exchange of words through body language without even intending to. It was comforting to both of them to know what was on each other's minds without letting the entire group know about it. They both had their private sides.  
  
His message to her was ~Leave it for now, its nothing ~  
  
She shook her head at him in the same imperceptible manner and narrowed her eyes ~its something both of us know it ~  
  
His mind buzzed with thoughts of how she could know something was wrong. He reasoned that whatever had caused the pain could be perceived by her miko powers. That was a very bad omen. An omen he was not about to speak of around Inuyasha or Sango.  
  
He widened his eyes and turned his right hand so that his palm was towards her ~ we'll talk, but later, don't push this ~  
  
For a moment he thought she would not listen to his silent plea but after an eternity she finally nodded and turned away. He understood her last message completely.  
  
~Later then...and there will be a later ~  
  
He took a deep breath as she continued on her way and came to a sudden realization that brought a wistful smile to his face. His friend was still in that body somewhere and she had peeked out at him enough to be concerned. He absently rubbed at his right hand and then followed after the others. He knew there had to be a reason for all of this to be happening, a real reason. He was not one to believe fate would be completely cruel to a person like Kagome. He hadn't always been such an optimist but having a person like her come into one's life had a tendency to make one reevaluate such things and put them in the proper perspective. 


	9. Kagome's Surrender

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Kagome cast a glance at Miroku across their campfire; he was avoiding making eye contact with her. She knew she had been distant to the monk but could not help that she had developed a deeper need for privacy. She was now more apt to ignore questions directed at her then to answer them. Kaede had been right when she had said the power had a mind of its own. Her own natural inclinations were being flung aside for the power's purpose. Sometimes it seemed she was just a passenger in her own body. She had woken up that morning with a feeling of urgency, as if she needed to get somewhere very soon. She had no idea why.  
  
She looked out into the darkening forest, pulling her knees up to her chest and placing her chin on a knee. For a moment she felt the same flutter she had experienced earlier from Miroku. She turned her head slowly making herself seem nonchalant, even as her heart raced in fear for her friend. He was holding his right hand in his left, a mask of calm on his face but he could not hide the pain in his eyes. Kagome had no idea how she knew what was happening but the knowledge was there. She had to speak with Miroku...alone.  
  
She rose slowly, stretching as she did so, working the kinks out of her body from sitting. She knew all three sets of eyes followed her movements. She didn't bother trying to soothe their egos by excusing her behavior. It would just be the same tomorrow; she had no real control over that aspect of herself, nor did she care to try to get it back. At this moment only one thing mattered to her, only one person.  
  
She stepped away from her place, "Miroku, come with me"  
  
His eyes held a denial that she was not going to agree with in the least. She glared at him openly, placing her hands on her hips.  
  
"Shall we talk here and now?" she asked threateningly.  
  
"Talk? Talk about what Miroku?" Sango asked confused.  
  
Miroku's eyes narrowed at Kagome in anger.  
  
~Please come with me Miroku...please let me do this thing as well...please don't fight me ~ Kagome pleaded with him silently.  
  
Perhaps her dread conveyed itself to him because he rose slowly, losing the angry look to his face in a second.  
  
"We just need to talk Sango...don't worry it isn't anything important" Miroku assured the youkai exterminator.  
  
Sango looked from him to Kagome and back before settling for the fire as a focal point. Kagome knew she was aware Miroku was lying, but it didn't matter. What did matter was that Inuyasha stayed well away from her and Miroku while they were gone.  
  
She looked over at him. Inuyasha just held her gaze. She imagined she must look silly to him, acting in such a commanding way. She felt as if she should explain to him the things that had been running through her mind but as she looked at him she knew he would never understand. He had never had his individuality swept away like so much trash, and had it replaced with something not quite right, not quiet him. He would in no way understand how awful and wonderful it felt to be as she was now.  
  
She turned from him as tears stung her eyes and strode away, knowing Miroku followed at a slower pace. The monk was afraid of her and what she would say. He had every reason to be afraid. What she was going to reveal to him was not going to be easy for him or her to deal with at first.  
  
She stopped in a clearing far enough away from the hanyou's hearing to be safe from interruption. She felt some of her old self rush back just enough for her to bow her head in sorrow before she turned to Miroku.  
  
"Go ahead and say it Kagome" Miroku insisted gently " I know already but I want to hear you say it"  
  
Kagome lifted her head and gazed at him steadily. Miroku her friend would die soon and she had to tell him that it was her fault.  
  
"Your curse...it is strengthening in leaps and bounds. Because I am as I am, because you travel near me. The pain will get worse, and if you use your Air Rip at all while you are with me...it will take you"  
  
Her voice did not waiver once during this recitation of his oncoming death sentence, though her heart was breaking the entire time. His face clouded only momentarily before he smiled at her softly and shrugged.  
  
"If that is the way I am meant to die then so be it Kagome" he said  
  
"Fool" she whispered angrily.  
  
"What would you have me do Kagome? Tell me because I don't have it in me to fight fate for much longer" Miroku admitted roughly.  
  
"Fight Miroku...you don't have to lay down and take it you know...nothing can stop you from fighting you have a choice...I have a choice but only if you are willing to fight." She informed him her anger finding new heights.  
  
"What choice do I have?" He asked her suspiciously.  
  
Kagome felt a pang of torment fill her spirit. The way he was looking at her at that moment could not have hurt any worse. Even Inuyasha could not cut her to the core as Miroku did now. She blinked back tears, hoping her face held every bit of her desire to help him and held out her hand. He stepped back, obviously afraid. The tears now pooled and slipped down her cheeks as she realized how little he trusted her.  
  
"Please Miroku" she pleaded.  
  
His face darkened and she could hear his denial before he even voiced it.  
  
"No Kagome, there's nothing you can do." He asserted.  
  
She bit her lip against the angry words tearing at her throat. She needed so badly to help him her soul was raging, even her powers, so against this cursed monk seemed determined to do what she wanted. Without her planning in advanced her hand crept up, tore the charm from her neck, and tossed it to the ground. Instantly her miko energy wrapped around her body and with it came a searing ache. Miroku cried out and fell to his knees cradling his right hand to his chest. She moved swiftly, kneeling in front of him and allowed her miko side to take over.  
  
"Give me your hand monk, you will die by my will or live. Either way I will not allow that youkai Naraku to have your soul. It will never be his, do you understand me?" She asked furiously.  
  
Even in his pain Miroku answered her.  
  
"And what if you do not survive Kagome?"  
  
"Then you will have one less friend in this world who would willingly give up their life for you"  
  
Kagome knew her real self was caught up in those words and encouraged this other self to make this sacrifice if indeed that was what it was.  
  
"You imagine I have so many I am willing to give you up." Miroku demanded lifting his head his voice strained, his breath coming in gasps.  
  
Kagome met his tear-filled eyes resolutely; " I refuse to let you die Miroku, my dearest friend, not while I have a chance of saving you. I won't let you go so easily"  
  
With that she grabbed his right hand and pulled it towards her. He fought her but he was no match for her using her full strength. Her free hand slipped up and cupped his cheek as she placed their clasped hands against her upper chest.  
  
She was swept into a void, surrounded by the feel of Miroku. For a moment she was lost in this new place until she felt a familiar presence and all she knew was fury. 


	10. Miroku's Salvation

A/N: I have a thing about Kagome and Miroku being especially close, they seem like kindred spirits to me of course without the whole pervert thing. They hang around two way to serious people who they care deeply about so it only makes sense that they would be close so they could just let go with each other when they couldn't with Inuyasha or Sango who seem more the type to just look at them as if they were insane and take them to seriously. So those of you who took the last chapter as some kind of budding romance between the two can breathe easier now, that wasn't what I was implying at all!!!! Happy reading and be safe! dragonfly-rising  
  
Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters.  
  
Miroku violently flinched as Kagome's hand tightened around his. The intense pain from her miko energy was nothing in comparison to the crushing affect of Kagome's physical strength. His fear for himself had been erased as his fear for her safety grew in leaps and bounds. Her skin was ice cold and pale even in the moonlight. Her eyes swam with the vaporous force he had seen so many times now. Her breath was coming in ragged gasps as if air was being squeezed from her. The part that sent terror into his heart was that he could see her breath with every exhalation as if she had stepped into winter.  
  
He tried to pull away from her but she held fast to her hand, her expression growing darker and darker until he was certain she had become insane in her rage. He cried out as a new wave of more intense energy surrounded them fueled by this miko's wrath. Her grip tightened again but he was beyond feeling such a trivial thing as physical pain considering his entire insides felt as if they were boiling.  
  
"Kagome please release me," he begged knowing full well she could not hear him.  
  
As suddenly as the searing pain had begun it retreated back into Kagome and her face became drawn with this new struggle. Miroku sensed the cataclysmic struggle between Kagome and his cursed hand and felt lost in how to make her abandon her pursuit. Tears blinded him as he renewed his struggle against her even going as far as drawing his hand back and smacking her across the cheek with what strength he had left. Nothing changed except the imprint of his hand in red on her white cheek. He forced himself to watch her face twist in agony not able to turn away as his mind tried to grasp why she would suffer so much for him. He would've willingly allowed his curse to take him if only to avoid this look upon her face.  
  
He felt the Air Rip try to widen then falter against the onslaught of Kagome's powers. Then it widened again and Kagome's voice rose in an incantation he had never heard before.  
  
"I am the strength of Midoriko...I am the weapon of all mikos...I am the serenity of all life."  
  
Over and over again she repeated this through gritted teeth apparently unaware that she was speaking aloud. Miroku could only watch her face and add his own prayers to her seeming ones in hopes someone would hear. Slowly he became aware that his Air Rip was reducing in size, he lifted his free hand to cover Kagome's that had slipped from his cheek to rest on his shoulder when he had moved to slap her.  
  
"That's enough Kagome" He tried to assure her.  
  
Her chant stopped as he spoke and she seemed to come out of her trance for a brief moment, "It is done"  
  
The tone of her voice sent chills down his spine so intensely that gooseflesh rose on his skin. She had sounded so final in that moment that he was sure she was going to perish. He jerked backwards as she shoved his hand from her and stumbled away. The aura that surrounded her spiked in pinks and blacks a chaotic wash of clashing forces.  
  
In shock he watched her tip her head up to the sky, raising her arms at the same time. Some unknown force lifted Kagome's body from the ground and slammed it into the earth, causing Miroku to shout out a denial of such treatment to the small girl's frame.  
  
He scrambled quickly over to where she laid, fear making his whole body tremble. As he reached her and lightly touched her still face he was rewarded with a gasp from her. He laughed in relief and wiped at the tears on his face. Her eyes slowly opened and he was pleased to find them a normal color. She studied his face for a few moments then tiredly smiled.  
  
"I couldn't undo it Miroku but I fixed what I broke." She explained, her voice weak.  
  
"Shhh Kagome don't talk" Miroku insisted as he tried checking her for injuries, for once not allowing stray perverted thoughts into his head.  
  
She placed her hand wearily on his arm making him pause in his inspection, "I'll live Miroku, just so sleepy"  
  
"What happened Kagome? Why did your body do that?" he asked.  
  
She blinked her eyes slowly at him, "It was my fault. My miko energy tried to force your curse into happening ahead of schedule I had to take my power back it didn't appreciate it very much and punished me. For once Naraku had nothing to do with it."  
  
Miroku took a deep breath allowing his fear and anger to reduce before he spoke.  
  
"Don't you ever do anything like that again Kagome, I'll die before I watch you suffer like that for a second time"  
  
She laughed shakily, "You didn't have a choice silly, and if I'm alive you never will. You should've stayed on unfriendly terms with me if you wanted that type of relationship. To late now, you're stuck with me."  
  
He sighed feeling just as drained as she looked, "You know some times I wish I had just let Inuyasha go by that first day I saw you, I certainly wouldn't have stubborn females always trying to run my life if I had"  
  
"You know you love me Miroku, just admit it and let it go. Besides, you kidnapped me that day remember?"  
  
He smiled wistfully, "Yes Kagome...it was the smartest thing I ever did". 


	11. Inuyasha's Insight

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the characters  
  
Inuyasha watched Miroku holding Kagome from the edge of the clearing. He hadn't known what exactly he had expected to find when he and Sango reached the two but he had not expected to see the display of Kagome's power or the tenderness that existed between the girl and monk.  
  
Many thoughts ran through his mind. He and Sango had followed the pair after they had left just out of curiosity. Neither of them had liked the tone in Kagome's voice, nor did they understand why they had not been included in this newest development. Inuyasha had felt the pressure of miko power before it had lit up the clearing and had let loose a low growl without realizing it. There had been such a sense of dangerous intentions that he had not reacted as Inuyasha but as a youkai, his hand going to Tetsusaiga, thoughts of cutting down the miko in the clearing filling his mind. Sango's tight grip over his hand on the hilt of his weapon brought him back to himself. Her dark eyes held their own misgivings.  
  
"You feel it too?" She asked quietly.  
  
He nodded his head slowly, his mind clearing of such destructive thoughts. Sango looked over at the pair as Kagome stumbled away from Miroku. They both gasped as the powers surrounding her lifted her up then sent her crashing to the ground. Inuyasha tensed as Miroku struggled over to Kagome and after a few moments he heard their light laughter, as if nothing had happened just a moment ago.  
  
"Should we interrupt?" Sango asked.  
  
Inuyasha glanced at her and then back. He couldn't understand why he wasn't racing across the distance between them to wrench Kagome from Miroku. Normally that would've been his first reaction, but something had altered inside of him. At first glance one would've thought that Kagome and Miroku were in a romantic relationship, but what kept Inuyasha from being his usual charming self was the feeling that pervaded the space that surrounded the clearing. Truth be told the hanyou could not ignore that the essence of camaraderie seemed encompassed by the figures in the dark and he could not bring himself to interrupt at that moment. It seemed offensive for them to intrude though his mind tried to fight demanding that they get answers for what ever it was that had brought him and the youkai exterminator here in the first place.  
  
In a rare moment of honesty with himself Inuyasha allowed a small smile to play across his features. He was ignoring his instincts for the sake of a feeling. It was unlike him to not react like a raging bull when something, real or imagined, invaded his territory.  
  
Inuyasha sighed almost silently and turned away from Kagome and Miroku. Sango watched him an almost comical look of surprise on her face.  
  
"Let's go back to the fire. I'm sure they will return when they are done. We'll get our answers then" he said to her as he started off.  
  
"Are you feeling alright Inuyasha?" Sango asked.  
  
He chuckled "Yes I'm fine"  
  
When Miroku finally came back to the campsite with Kagome exhausted in his arms all of Inuyasha well-intentioned thoughts were driven out of his mind and he jumped to his feet voicing his outrage at Kagome's drained appearance.  
  
"What the hell happened?!"  
  
He intentionally ignored Miroku's own exhaustion drawn features in favor of self-righteous outrage.  
  
"What did you do to her?!"  
  
"Inuyasha!" Sango admonished, standing as well.  
  
Miroku's eyes seemed to darken with some unknown feeling and the monk set Kagome down on her feet before addressing him. Kagome took a few steps away from Miroku, an almost bored expression on her face.  
  
"Are you insinuating that I would do something to jeopardize Kagome's welfare?" He asked dangerously.  
  
Inuyasha didn't stop to think before opening his mouth, "If it had to do with getting rid of that curse of yours I'm sure you would"  
  
Sango's eyes grew big, "Stop it you two"  
  
The men ignored her, glaring at each other in true menace. Inuyasha tried to reel in his uncontrollable anger but failed miserably as he looked at Miroku. The monk's face was closed and nearing something that bordered on death. It was a challenge and Inuyasha's blood boiled with the want to meet it. If Hiraikotsu had not come in between the two men something violent may have happened. As it was Inuyasha jumped back the moment the bone boomerang came down and starred at Sango incredulously.  
  
Sango glared at both of them " That is more then enough. I've had it with all of you. All this secrecy has to stop. It's over right now. Why would either of you want to fight? You two are friends not enemies."  
  
She rounded on Kagome, pointing Hiraikotsu at the young woman, "Its time to start talking Kagome. You've had long enough to figure out at least something about what is happening to you. What's with the going off into the night and lighting up the sky with miko energy? Why didn't you talk to Inuyasha and me about this thing over Miroku? Or are you in this all by yourself now?"  
  
Kagome narrowed her eyes at Sango, "It was between Miroku and I".  
  
"You had better come up with a more plausible explanation Kagome" Sango shot back.  
  
Inuyasha would've laughed if the tension weren't so high between the girls. Seeing them face off as they were reminded him of what had just happened amid Miroku and him. Kagome's hand slowly went to the hilt of her sword.  
  
"Would you fight me Sango?" There was no mistaking the arrogance in the question.  
  
"Stop it" Inuyasha finally shouted.  
  
Now he stepped over in front of the bone boomerang facing Kagome, "There is something very wrong with you Kagome"  
  
Kagome just looked at him, anger flashing in her eyes.  
  
Inuyasha sighed heavily, "Its not just you its all of us. We're all at each other's throats and I'm thinking that you know why that is, you owe it to us to explain it. I have a feeling it has something to do with why you and Miroku went off by yourselves."  
  
There was a distinct change in Kagome then. Her shoulders slumped and she rubbed a hand over her eyes, her brow furrowing. When she took her hand away Inuyasha could see the guilt easily.  
  
"What have you done, Kagome?" Sango asked also seeing it. 


	12. The Miko's Influence

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Kagome felt the retreat of The Miko as her friends stood looking expectantly at her to answer Sango's question. Of course SHE felt guilt over what The Miko was doing, after all it was her body that entity was using, her powers, her group of friends She was trying to destroy. It didn't seem odd to her that she was separating herself like this. In fact it felt like a survival instinct. Before the threat to Miroku she had been almost enjoying the changes. The Miko rarely felt self conscious or uncertain like Kagome did all of the time. It was nice to be so self- assured so confident in everything she did. Then she had seen what The Miko had really been doing to Miroku and through him she had sensed his mistaken assumption that it had been his pain that had been so vividly expressed on her face. It had been Kagome's own agony. The Miko had been livid with Kagome for taking control of her powers and changing the flow of intention. The powers that had battled around Kagome had been her own and this other entity's. The Miko had been trying to destroy Miroku so that Kagome was not distracted from what The Miko felt was Kagome's true purpose. Kagome had also felt The Miko reach out to Inuyasha and Sango trying to warp their minds and set them all against each other. Only Kagome's force of will had stopped it in time or else Inuyasha would've attacked her and Sango would've gone after Inuyasha. She had been shocked that The Miko had that kind of power.  
  
She had not realized that The Miko was still active until she actually came out of her stupor long enough to comprehend that Sango was pointing Hiraikotsu at her. She barely had time to restrain her impulse to unsheathe her sword before The Miko sensing Kagome's attention retreated leaving Kagome slightly confused and having to explain herself yet again.  
  
She met Sango's suspicious gaze bravely enough. She had done her best to control herself; they would have to trust that she wasn't doing these things on purpose.  
  
"It's the other," She said trying to gather her thoughts enough to explain all of this.  
  
"The other?" Sango repeated.  
  
"You have to believe me, I'm not doing these things on purpose. It's not even ME doing them. Its Her!"  
  
All of her friends exchanged looks of grave concern and Kagome could hear the thought that passed between them.  
  
~ Kagome might not be handling all of this very well ~  
  
She looked away in disgust, annoyed with them for not even trying to understand.  
  
"This isn't easy for me, I'm willing to admit that. I don't have the control I need, I don't have the knowledge I need, I don't have the patience I need. You all have to understand that I would never do anything to hurt any of you...not on purpose. This Other...The Miko, she doesn't want me to have friends. She doesn't understand the need for them. All she wants me to do is respond to the things my powers make me aware of and to destroy those things."  
  
She raised her head and gazed at them levelly, "I never intended to hurt Miroku...She did. She wants him dead so that I don't care for those who are cursed like him. She wants him dead because I do care about him. She wants Inuyasha or Sango to attack me as well. Then she can react to save me and I can't do anything about it because it's instinctual. That's mostly how I'm reacting right now. If I hadn't noticed Miroku's problem he would be gone now. If Sango hadn't stopped you two from fighting...if Inuyasha hadn't stepped between Sango and me. She has more power then any of you could ever imagine."  
  
Kagome understood she was speaking strangely and yet couldn't bring herself to be concerned about it. In her attempt to explain what was going on inside her she was allowing parts of the Miko to shine through which meant she slipped back and forth from first to third person. They were still looking at her in that concerned way that just made her stomach clench in frustration.  
  
Sango took a steadying breath "So you are saying this Miko is inside you and she is a different person then you?"  
  
Kagome could've laughed at the irony of trying to explain split personalities to a youkai exterminator who had on occasion dealt with people who were possessed. "We're separated but the same."  
  
"Feh" Inuyasha snorted, "That makes no sense"  
  
"Cause you attacking Miroku makes all the sense in the world" Kagome fired backed.  
  
He rolled his eyes at her "So how do we fix this?"  
  
"If I knew I would've by now hanyou," The Miko responded.  
  
Kagome grit her teeth and pushed Her back. Inuyasha shook his head in a way that could only be interpreted as annoyed resignation.  
  
"So you or that is this Miko can influence us?" Miroku asked finally.  
  
"Do you think its normal for you to want to kill Inuyasha?" Kagome asked.  
  
Miroku looked at her stunned for a few moments then burst out laughing, holding his sides. Kagome giggled as she realized what she had just said, turning her eyes to Inuyasha who was chuckling himself. Sango doubled up in her merriment. After what seemed like an hour locked in amusement Inuyasha sobered up enough to speak.  
  
"So this is only getting worse and we need to get Kagome to this temple as soon as we can"  
  
Kagome smiled gratefully at him. 


	13. Kagome's Role And Kagome's Heartache

A/N: Thanks all for the reviews they have been really encouraging and inspiring maybe a lil too much since my bf has been trying to get me to NOT read the reviews in case I go off into another story binge lol...happy reading and be safe...dragonfly-rising  
  
Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the characters  
  
Inuyasha watched Kagome as she slept fitfully from his perch in a nearby tree, concerned. The girl tossed and turned, mumbling words, her face covered in sweat. He wondered if he should wake her from the obvious nightmare then decided against it as her powers swept back and forth over her sporadically moving form. He leaned back, his amber eyes dark and brooding.  
  
~* in Kagome's dream *~  
  
Kagome looked around the clearing she was in. A feeling of anger and impatience pervaded the air around her. Overhead dark storm clouds rolled with thunder and she could smell the rain in the air. A figure appeared in front of her. It was The Miko surrounded by an aura of dark miko energy that whipped back and forth, Her eyes wept with mist. It didn't surprise Kagome that The Miko looked exactly like her.  
  
"Why must you interfere?" The Miko asked her angrily.  
  
Kagome shocked herself with the anger that fed into her, "Why are you trying to kill my friends?"  
  
"They are unnecessary, your attention must be elsewhere"  
  
"Like where? You can't just expect me to let you hijack my body and do whatever you want with it without some kind of reason."  
  
The Miko glared at her, "You are a miko it is you duty to surrender to your obligations as such"  
  
"The hell it is! Do mikos do that in this time? Well not this miko! You either explain it or you aren't getting any cooperation from me!" She responded rudely.  
  
The Miko's energy shifted restlessly and Kagome thought She was going to attack her. Instead She smiled proudly.  
  
"You have spirit. That is good. You will need it in the oncoming battle"  
  
"With Naraku?" Kagome responded confused.  
  
The Miko snorted contemptuously. "That glorified youkai is of the Shikon Jewel. That is of Midoriko not of you. I speak of another danger one that only you can stop. This should have been the undead miko's responsibility had she lived. She did not so now it falls to you to finish."  
  
"Kikyo?"  
  
"Is there another undead miko walking this earth?"  
  
Kagome rolled her eyes; The Miko obviously couldn't help but treat even her with contempt.  
  
"What exactly is this oncoming battle then?" Kagome asked switching subjects. She wondered if she would ever be comfortable talking about Kikyo though she doubted it.  
  
"The priest of the Temple of the Soul"  
  
"I have to fight him?"  
  
The Miko laughed, "He is the door to the real fight. He will attempt to heal you; he will not be able to do this. Things such as this do not happen by accident Kagome. I was needed to guide you in this since you are not of this time and know nothing of the greater workings. Yensa was not acting on her own; she is a servant to the One you will have to seal away into the Void."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Kagome was becoming thoroughly confused, "Please stop talking like that. I know I don't understand a lot of what happens in this time but you aren't helping any."  
  
The Miko shook her head, " You needed access to you powers...all of them right now. Yensa was manipulated into using her mirror on you so such a thing could occur. I was sent here in order to help you understand everything that was being given to you. You wake with a feeling of impatience do you not?"  
  
Kagome nodded her head slowly.  
  
"Your powers know the time is coming for you to meet Usuti, to meet the greater youkai lord Ferlias. It is important that you listen to you powers Kagome, it is important that you allow nothing to distract you. It is imperative that you allow no one to come before this world's survival. Ferlias is much like Naraku except that he has much larger plans for this world. Did it never occur to you that most of the greater youkai lords have either perished or disappeared from this world?"  
  
Kagome was taken aback; she had never questioned the fact that the larger youkai lords, like Inuyasha's father, were gone. It was just a fact of this era as far as she knew.  
  
"Mikos such as Midoriko and Kikyo were created to seal such creatures away from this world. They do not belong here, not with such limitless power at their disposal. Mikos are the balance to these powers, the strength of such women make it possible for those without power to exist which are the exact ones most at risk. You are such a miko Kagome. You are The Miko of this era and your own. Those that govern this balance intended for you to be whole but there were happenstances that were beyond Their control and you were made less."  
  
The skies overhead darkened considerably as The Miko said this and Kagome felt a sliver of real fear slip into her heart. Was this persona telling her that Kikyo's death was beyond just a tragic turn of events?  
  
The Miko's cloudy eyes seemed sad, "You are correct in that Kagome. Kikyo was never meant to die at that time. She was supposed to have lived to fight Ferlias herself. Naraku saw to it that this never came to pass and so you were born into another era destined to come to this one to fill the emptiness left by her death."  
  
Kagome felt tears fill her eyes " So I am just a copy of Kikyo"  
  
It had been some time since this old familiar ache had reared its ugly head inside Kagome's heart. Now it blossomed into something new and atrocious. She had only been born to pick up Kikyo's pieces and finish what Kikyo had been born to do. She was worse then a copy she was an empty shell. Lightening crashed overhead and Kagome jumped.  
  
"You are as you have always been. You are Kagome, the most powerful miko of your own time. Did it never occur to you that none else would've survived what was done to you? That none else would have lived with only a partial soul? That none else could have shattered such a thing as the Shikon Jewel?"  
  
"And what good do those things do me", She asked through angry tears, "All that tells me is that I'm a fool for thinking that I'm just Kagome not Kikyo! Because I'm just a thing not even a real person! Because all I'm good for is doing what Kikyo would've done if Onigumo hadn't fallen in love with her! Because all I'll ever feel when Inuyasha looks at me is that he SHOULD see Kikyo! All you are really saying is that whoever THEY are gave me a little bit extra when making me so that Kikyo could be resurrected and I could still do HER job!"  
  
Lightening struck the space between her and The Miko yet Kagome held her ground, not even flinching.  
  
"If you would understand what it is you must do then you will have to understand who you are! It is not THEIR responsibility that humans have freewill and do with it things such as Onigumo do. You must understand that once certain events are set in motion there is no way to turn the tide at the pinnacle of its momentum. Until your birth there was no choice in a miko being born with as much power as you have. Here in this time Midoriko and Kikyo were the ONLY mikos in existence. Mikos do not just happen; they are born for a purpose. They create the balance that keeps such creatures as Ferlias trapped. Now BECAUSE Kikyo is resurrected the balance has been altered so severely that Ferlias can reach out beyond his chains in the other world and influence youkai to destroy humans entirely. You cannot allow yourself to feel inferior to such as Kikyo who is not the creature she once was. You were created to balance the powers Kagome just as Kikyo was WHEN she was alive. You were not created to live Kikyo's life that she was unable to."  
  
Even hearing the words of logic from the Miko didn't help Kagome's heartache. There was too much reasoning for Inuyasha to have every right to resent her existence.  
  
The Miko sighed quietly, "Humans are such fragile creatures. So hard upon them selves when in the middle of self doubt. It is a wonder that you still exist. This "love" it is very important to you?"  
  
Kagome grit her teeth before answering, "It's everything"  
  
"And this is why you fight me as I attempt to rid you of distractions?"  
  
"You know for someone made out of me you really have no clue at all about me"  
  
"I was never meant to...I was only to get you where you needed to be"  
  
"Sounds familiar...neither one of us seems to have any other purpose then to further someone else's goals"  
  
"As you are now you are useless. You cannot hope to triumph in a battle where your heart is all that will save you when you have so little trust in that very love"  
  
"Then you take over...I don't want to do this anymore" Kagome muttered disillusioned.  
  
"If that is what you wish"  
  
Kagome looked at the Miko then. Her eyes were calming to a light blue, though the mist still leaked down her cheeks in cloudy tears. Her face seemed solemn and caring as if through the talk the Miko had gained some sense of emotion. Kagome reasoned this was because the Miko had begun to question emotion. Kagome felt exhausted.  
  
"Protect my friends...I just need time...please," she asked of this entity that so far had not proven the trustworthiest with what she valued most.  
  
The Miko nodded slowly and Kagome found herself in her own bedroom looking at her bed feeling utterly lost and worn out. With no thought she crawled into bed sighing in pleasure and fell instantly to sleep.  
  
Watching the young girl from across the room the Miko frowned with concern. Another entity appeared beside her, an old man with laughing green eyes and a snow-white beard. He was dressed in a flowing white robe. His kind face was drawn in worry.  
  
~ Will she return? ~ He asked silently.  
  
~ I am unsure ~ She answered.  
  
~ It is imperative that she does...everything depends upon her ~  
  
~ I am well aware of that. Perhaps her companions will be able to help her return. I had not realized that telling her such truths would affect her so ~  
  
The old man sighed noiselessly ~ Humans are so breakable at times...especially when it comes to affairs of the heart ~  
  
She nodded ~ I have things I must do...perhaps Kagome will realize the truth before it is too late ~  
  
The Miko faded until there was nothing left except the sleeping girl and the old man. He watched Kagome for a moment then walked over to her bedside. He gently pulled the blankets over her shoulders and brushed hair away from her face.  
  
~ Come back soon little miko...we are in desperate need of you ~ he told her sleeping form then settled on the bed next to her looking down at her as a father would. 


	14. A Stranger Named Kee

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
The day began normal enough in Sango's mind. She awoke first, as always. Followed shortly thereafter by Miroku who somehow had found the most disturbing way of just knowing when Sango was stretching the kinks out of her body. She caught him looking at her with a very not nice smile on his face and threw a nearby branch at his head, resulting in a very satisfying thunk and an exclamation from Miroku. Inuyasha jumped down from his perch in the tree and complained about there being no food ready, which earned him his own tree branch to the head and another very satisfying thunk. All in all it was a pleasant way for her to start the morning.  
  
She was kneeling down trying to start a fire right across from where Kagome was sleeping. She looked up just in time to see Kagome jerk upright and she dropped her fire starting tools out of shock. Kagome looked at her and Sango got a distinct impression that it was NOT Kagome who was behind the now light blue eyes. Sango moved slowly to stand up and found herself under the scrutiny of the stranger inside her friend.  
  
"The youkai exterminator" said this new person who was Kagome yet not.  
  
Sango felt more then heard Inuyasha's low growl behind her. "Kagome" looked at Inuyasha.  
  
"The hanyou...the monk...friends"  
  
These were statements not questions and they had the air of someone reminding them selves of something annoying and troublesome. Kagome moved to stand up and Sango took an involuntary step backwards, her eyes going to Hiraikotsu and then back to Kagome. "Kagome" seemed to have noted her unease because a small half smile had crept to her face.  
  
"You could not reach it in time youkai exterminator" the person said with Kagome's voice.  
  
Sango stiffened at the arrogance in the voice but stood her ground, "Kagome?"  
  
"She is...Kagome is not ready to return at this time" said the person uncertain.  
  
"What do you mean?" Miroku asked stepping forward enough for Sango to see him out of the corner of her eye.  
  
The person's brow furrowed as if she had to concentrate to find the right words " Kagome...this spirit...she is in distress...she has withdrawn from life"  
  
Sango put out a warning hand to stay Inuyasha's habit of rushing forward before knowing the dangers of a situation. She heard him growl again but he stayed where he was for the time being. She was grateful he was paying that much attention. He didn't always when it came to Kagome.  
  
"Please who are you and what happened to Kagome?" Sango asked more concerned for her friend then she ever had been.  
  
Again the furrowed brow, "Kagome refers to me as The Miko...but I am called Kee. As to the miko I do not understand exactly what she has done. She did not react well to my explanation of what she is."  
  
Sango repressed the urge to strangle this Kee person; she had always hated cryptic answers to straightforward questions.  
  
"Please try to explain Kee. Kagome is our friend and we need to know why you are here and not her," Sango explained.  
  
Kee looked at her strangely then nodded, "Kagome is destined to seal a greater youkai lord away from this world. She was almost calm over that yet when it came to explaining the undead miko's role she became deeply disturbed and she went to sleep."  
  
Sango could tell Kee was doing her best to help them understand what was going on but it fell short of being clear.  
  
"The undead...Kikyo" Inuyasha whispered behind her.  
  
Kee nodded, " Yes that one...Kagome was disturbed by the mention of her...I must say I do not understand all of you mortals and your reactions to things...there was a deep anguish in her soul such that she became deaf to logic".  
  
"She would in anything that had to do with Kikyo" Miroku offered.  
  
Sango turned to him; surprised that Miroku would know such a thing. Inuyasha was looking at the monk, his face full of hurt and guilt. Miroku avoided both their eyes and stared at Kee.  
  
"What exactly did you say to her Kee?" Miroku asked his voice strained.  
  
"The truth of it...that if Kikyo had lived it would be she and not Kagome who would've been in the fight with Ferlias...that if Kikyo had not been the victim of Onigumo she would have never been brought back to this time...that she was created for this purpose."  
  
Sango put her hand to her mouth in horror of the words coming from Kee. If the entity had told Kagome that then no wonder Kagome had withdrawn. In one night this entity had made Kagome's existence into being only a replacement for Kikyo. Sango refrained from looking at Inuyasha; she didn't think she could bear the look on his face if he had realized what she had.  
  
"How could you say that to her?" Inuyasha asked in a hushed voice.  
  
Kee looked confused, "It is the truth...it is what she asked for".  
  
"You don't understand" Sango said pained "Kagome has dealt with that for a long time but not...not to this terrible degree. She has always separated herself and Kikyo."  
  
"She is Kikyo's reincarnation. There is no separation." Kee said with finality.  
  
"She IS NOT Kikyo!" Inuyasha roared giving vent to his rage.  
  
Kee only looked at him as if he were a child, "Of course she isn't hanyou...they took different routes in life...they could never be the same in that way. Her soul is Kikyo's soul which was another's before even her...it is a miko's soul"  
  
"Don't call me that," Inuyasha growled.  
  
"What?" the innocence in Kee's question was almost sweet.  
  
"I am not "hanyou" my name is Inuyasha...IN.U.YA.SHA"  
  
Kee made a face, "Is it not what you are?"  
  
Inuyasha snorted "Yeah but it isn't WHO I am"  
  
Kee shrugged indifferently and looked at Sango, "Am I to assume that I should address you all as who you are and not what you are?"  
  
Sango nodded. Kee's face turned grim in an instant and she rushed forward drawing her sword from its sheath. Sango stood there stunned.  
  
"Sango!" 


	15. Inuyasha's Promise

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters...except Kee, Usuti and Ferlias whom you will meet later :D  
  
Inuyasha's reaction was automatic. He reached forward, dug his claws into the back of Sango's outfit, and yanked her to the left out of Kee's way. As he moved he drew Tetsusaiga, enjoying momentarily the rush he always felt as it transformed. Kee herself had not even paused to notice Sango was out of her way she simply rushed forward and sliced downward with her blade barely missing a youkai that had stealthily approached the camp while they talked. It jumped to the side slashing at Kee who twisted sideways away from its claws. Inuyasha annoyed with him self for not hearing the youkai's approach, stepped into the youkai's retreat bringing Tetsusaiga's blade into its leg. With a roar it fell and he got a first good look at it that happened to be his last. It was black with huge eyes and shaggy hair that covered it from head to foot. A heartbeat later Kee was bending over it placing a hand to its face. Her face was set in grim determination and Inuyasha knew what would come next considering he had seen Kagome do the same to Yensa not a week before. A pink glow emanated from her hand and with a howl the youkai turned to dust. Sickened Inuyasha stepped away, putting his weapon back in its sheath. He heard Kee rise, dusting her hands off, but he couldn't look at her. Not at that moment with her looking and sounding exactly like Kagome, he just didn't want to see that same satisfied smile that had leapt to Kagome's face when Yensa was gone.  
  
He raised his eyes and took in the disapproving looks of Sango and Miroku. Perhaps they thought as he did that the youkai had hardly been worth the display of power. He didn't care much if they did. He felt adrift from all of them. Like something was purposely trying to make him feel alienated? With this thought he turned and looked at Kee suspiciously. She met his stare with one of her own.  
  
"I'll let you know now Kee there is no way you will ever influence me enough to leave Kagome. Not now...not ever. So if you have it in you head that you can do it, forget it. I made a promise and you can't change that", He informed her tensely.  
  
She acknowledge his words with a slight nod of her head "We should leave this place...before more come"  
  
"And they will won't they" Inuyasha stated "Because of Ka...because of you"  
  
She nodded again, "The power in me shines more brightly to youkai than any shard of the Shikon Jewel ever could. I am an enemy that can be found. Those who travel with me are in danger at all times."  
  
Inuyasha understood the threat implied by her words but disregarded them, "If you could you would've already killed me...SHE won't let you. We will travel with you and get Kagome back"  
  
He didn't have to check to see if Miroku and Sango agreed with him, he could hear them moving to break camp as he finished the statement. Kee seemed puzzled by him.  
  
"Han...Inuyasha it is true Kagome will not allow me to harm any of you but it is in your best interest to allow me to continue alone. It would scar her deeply if any of you were injured due to my inability to mask my miko powers."  
  
Just the act correcting her self made Inuyasha respect this entity a little. Kee was clearly attempting not to be rude. Her disquiet was even genuine if what showed on her face was to be trusted. He bobbed his head in acknowledgement and retreated from her. His feeling of isolation disappeared almost completely; there would always be his own tendency to isolate himself due to his childhood. He snorted to himself in amusement.  
  
Later that day, while Inuyasha was scouting ahead in a tree he overheard Kee ask Sango how they had all become friends. It seemed this miko being had no idea how they could be that way just because of a common goal.  
  
"I don't know really...you kind of have to know Kagome. She has this way of linking people. I hated Inuyasha and Miroku when I first met them but after awhile, after talking with Kagome about them I began to see them differently. I mean sure Miroku is a pervert and Inuyasha can be insufferable at times. You just have to get to know them better. They are all so loyal and have put themselves at risk so many times for my sake that I can't help but feel close to them."  
  
Inuyasha smiled to himself liking Sango's explanation. He hadn't really thought it through that much but he supposed they were all close friends. He had even spoken with Sango about his problems with Kagome and respected her advice in that area. It was strange how comfortable he felt thinking of them as friends when before he had secluded himself.  
  
He chuckled as he recalled how he had spoken to Kee earlier that day. It was very reminiscent of how Kagome had spoken to him that night she had freed him from the tree.  
  
KA.GO.ME  
  
His face dropped slowly as he heard her saying those words in his mind. He had already resigned himself to the fact that she was changed, and now she was gone. He had an ache inside of him that he didn't think he could bear.  
  
KA.GO.ME  
  
~ We'll get you back Kagome. I swear it. ~ 


	16. Kagome And Tosh

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the characters...except the ones I mentioned before  
  
Kagome awoke with a start, her mind befuddled with sleep. She couldn't seem to make up her mind if she should smell the scent of clean sheets or if she should instead be smelling dirt and trees. She rolled over, yawning hugely and stretching trying to clear her mind. She was in the middle of rubbing sleep from her eyes when she realized there was someone sitting on her bed watching her.  
  
Her eyes sprang open her heart racing in fear. The old man sitting there only smiled kindly at her. She cautiously pushed herself up into a sitting position and stared at him. He didn't seem threatening in the least and she found herself responding to his smile with one of her own.  
  
"Can I help you?" She asked timidly.  
  
His shoulders shook with amusement, "No my dear it is I who am here to help you"  
  
His voice had a soothing timber to it and Kagome couldn't help but relax even further though she was confused as to why he was in her room.  
  
"My name...well its too long for you to worry about, you can call me Tosh for short." The man, Tosh introduced himself.  
  
"I'm Kagome," She offered hoping it would compel Tosh to explain what was going on.  
  
He dipped his head pleasantly, "You are mystified as to why such an old man should be sitting on your bed are you not?"  
  
She waved her head up and down in agreement, and then blushed worried she might have offended him. He only smiled more brightly.  
  
"You have had a trying time with Kee and I wish to make amends. Perhaps even help you understand the things she may have said wrongly. She is not use to dealing with your kind directly." Tosh explained.  
  
Kagome remembered everything suddenly and she felt tears rush to her eyes as her heart broke all over again. Tosh reached over and patted her hand in a friendly manner. Kagome collected her wits about her.  
  
"What do you mean "my kind"? Humans?"  
  
This drew a vibrant, rich roll of laughter out of Tosh. Kagome became flustered. He seemed a nice enough man but he didn't seem to take too many things seriously at all. Tosh sobered slowly, though never lost the smile on his face. He looked at her warmly and took her hands into his. She allowed this without a second thought.  
  
"I shall tell you a story. A story of a very human...very mixed up young woman who lived many many years ago." He began "She lived not far from the village you first encountered when you came to this time. Her name was Kee and she was the most powerful miko of her time. This young woman, Kee, felt she was limited by the standards of the time for she had a wild heart and an exceptionally strong will. At that time many did not trust her and would not ask for her help with youkai. This Kee felt was an injustice and she did everything she could think of to dissuade others from these thoughts. It brought her nothing but grief and in the end Kee left this village hoping to find a place for her somewhere else. Unknown to Kee a great youkai lord had taken an interest in her and stalked her as she traveled from village to village healing those she could and helping as much as she was allowed."  
  
Kagome drew her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them caught up in Tosh's story. She wondered if Kee had ever really felt accepted anywhere.  
  
"Kee went along her way for months never knowing that this youkai lord was anywhere near her. Finally one-day villagers who had heard of the miko who was hunted by the youkai lord drove her from a town. They said many awful and cruel things to Kee that day and her heart was utterly destroyed by all of it. So she, having been trained by mikos of her time in the art of sword fighting took up her sword and went to find this youkai lord. Her intentions were to kill him and make all know that she was no friend of youkai. She hunted for him for an extraordinary length of time, killing all youkai that came after her until finally two years after her search had been started she found the youkai lord that had become her obsession. Their battle was the stuff of legends but in the end Kee fell to the might youkai lord. It had never occurred to her that she might lose. All this time she had hunted for him she had believed that she would kill him. And as the miko lay dying in the darkness of the youkai lord's cave he asked her why she had spent so much time coming after him when she could have just left the area and found people who had no idea who she was. Her reply came on dying lips. "I have lived every day openly wanting your death but seeking my own". It took the youkai lord many centuries to understand the miko's words but eventually he did, when he himself died."  
  
Kagome looked at Tosh saddened, "Is that really her story?"  
  
Tosh nodded his face having settled into a look of deep thought, "Kee did not know how to live when she was alive. Nor did she learn how to talk to people. She is very awkward in this area. You have many things in common with her."  
  
Kagome turned her head away from him, "So you're just like her?"  
  
"Yes and no child. I was older and wiser before I died, but I lived as much and as well as I could. Kee said things to you that upset you, I profess I do not understand your reaction myself. I only understand your heart has torn and you are defenseless without it."  
  
"Why did They create me?" She finally asked quietly.  
  
She heard Tosh sigh and felt him shift on the bed.  
  
"They created you because you are needed Kagome. They never intended for you to feel lesser because of it"  
  
"Well They did," She snapped.  
  
"You fear he will not see you but her when he hears the truth?"  
  
Kagome's head instantly turned towards Tosh in surprise, "No...its me I'm worried about not him. He's made it clear to me that he doesn't feel THAT way towards me. It's just that I always thought of myself as well as unique. Now I'm not. I'm just Kikyo's whipping boy, and he was right when he said I was only a bad copy of her"  
  
Tosh sighed, somehow making it a patient sound, " Darling girl your soul, Kikyo's soul...it has been reincarnated. This means it is a unique thing. It has been shared with others so it is rich with previous life experience. This soul that is now in your possession has understood mysteries you have never dreamed existed. It has felt every emotion many times, the strongest of those being love of another. Would it astound you to know Kee also shared this soul?"  
  
Kagome gawked at him. He chuckled at her lifting a hand to stroke his long beard.  
  
"You had to be born Kagome. That is just the way it is. You must accept this fact before you can even hope to face Ferlias and live."  
  
"I'm not facing him...Kee can handle it"  
  
She knew she sounded like a spoiled child but it wasn't in her to care anymore. She was more then torn...she was broken. And all of it really did revolve around Inuyasha in the end. She couldn't face him, couldn't conceive of giving him a chance to reject her when she couldn't accept her self as she saw her self.  
  
The tears pooled in her eyes again and she put her forehead to her knee in a vain attempt to hide her pain from Tosh. If she had looked up she would've seen that Tosh only frowned in sympathy for her as he stroked his beard. 


	17. Miroku's Kindness

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Miroku watched his Kee as they walked side by side behind Inuyasha and Sango out of the corner of his eye. The aura given off by her was very distracting to him. His senses, which did work on occasion, screamed at him that she was unnatural. That she was a thing and not a person. His heart told him she was someone to watch but no more unnatural then Kagome herself was. So far Kee had spoken more with Inuyasha and Sango, in fact Miroku found he avoided any personal contact with her. He was extremely uncomfortable with his reactions to her, which all seemed over reactive.  
  
He was so distracted by his thoughts that he absently caught Kee's arm as she tripped. Instantly he was under the scrutiny of intense blue eyes that gave the impression of amazement. He jerked his hand away from her arm and looked away uncomfortable with her reaction.  
  
He walked away briskly hoping she would leave the matter of his actions alone. Her light footsteps alerted him to her hurrying to catch up to him. When she did finally fall into step beside him he did everything he could to appear to be unapproachable.  
  
"You dislike me," Kee said quietly beside him.  
  
He would've had to be a simpleton not to catch the note of apprehension in her voice, and Miroku was anything but a simpleton. Despite the fact that his hand curled slowly into a fist he licked his lips and answered her, wondering when all the moisture had disappeared from his mouth.  
  
"You tried to kill me" was his answer.  
  
"You wept for her pain" Kee stated, wonder in her voice.  
  
Miroku tried not to be offended, "She is my friend. It hurt to see her like that."  
  
"I am sorry I tried to end your life Miroku. I did not understand your value to Kagome at the time"  
  
He figured it was a decent apology considering the circumstances. It did not ease his disquiet. He supposed most of his apprehension had to do with the fact that Kee used her powers without hesitation or thought. Her flagrant use of those powers against the youkai earlier had deeply disturbed him. He had seen the half smile of satisfaction on her face, though Inuyasha had turned away before it came.  
  
"Why do you react as you do to youkai?" He finally asked, looking over at her as they walked.  
  
Her face darkened, "I do not hate them".  
  
Miroku snorted in disbelief "Yes you do...I watched your face. You enjoyed killing that youkai the way you did. Why would a miko such as you need to display your powers like that?"  
  
She glanced at him then, her eyes full of something ominous. "I have my reasons"  
  
"You are evading the question", Miroku chided, being the master of evasion himself he could easily identify it when he heard it.  
  
"When I lived I spent much of my time killing them." She said.  
  
He could hear the aggression in her voice and felt his Air Rip begin to throb. He flexed it wondering if she was aware she was affecting him. She reminded him of a legend he had heard a few years back of a dark miko whose heart had become so imbued with evil that she attracted youkai to her by simply standing in a field and waiting. He reasoned that if such a thing was possible then Kee was corrupt enough to have been that miko. He had never heard of a miko being anything but beneficiary but given that he had met Kikyo he knew mikos could be turned into very tragic figures due to things that occurred in their lives.  
  
He felt a small sliver of pity enter his heart for Kee. The miko in the legend he had heard had been treated very unkindly by her people and had died alone without knowing an ounce of real kindness or love. It was a dreadful thing to have no one. The more he thought on it the more he wondered if Kee was attempting to feel such things through them, perhaps speaking with those in such a close knit group gave her a sense of all that she had missed. These ideas made him pity her even more, and though Miroku had his own vices one of them was not lack of kindness.  
  
"Kee..." He began, unsure what he was going to say.  
  
"Yes?" She responded.  
  
He was not allowed the time to formulate what he would say next because a blur of brown and gray leapt out of the forest to the right headed straight for Kee. Again Miroku found himself reacting without thought, grabbing Kee's arm and swinging her behind him. He brandished his staff, bracing himself for what he was sure would result in a painful impact. At the last moment Hiraikotsu rocketed into the youkai splitting it in two. Miroku threw a grateful smile at Sango who was just catching the massive boomerang. Sango gave him a jaunty little salute they had all picked up from Kagome. He turned to Kee only to find her speechless.  
  
"Are you alright?" He asked slightly concerned.  
  
She gawked openly at him for a few moments, wide eyed as a child being given a new toy.  
  
"What...why did you do that?" She asked breathlessly.  
  
He shook his head in wonder, "Because you didn't notice the youkai and I didn't feel like watching you die"  
  
She gave him a speculative look, "But I tried to kill you"  
  
"Well I'm not one to hold onto that type of grudge...just don't curse me and we'll get along fine," He said jokingly.  
  
She attempted a smile that came out looking more like a grimace, "You all are very strange. I see why Kagome values you so much"  
  
"We're friends Kee I'm sorry if you don't know what that means. I think everyone should. I just have a hard time with you. I talk with Kagome so we know each other. You being here as you are makes me uncomfortable. That doesn't mean that I'll allow you to be hurt. If nothing else Kee we are companions and that means we watch out for each other"  
  
Kee looked at him for a long moment until allowing a real smile to cross her face. 


	18. A Slip Of Truth

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Kee sat with her back against a tree. It was night now, their journey had taken them much closer to the Temple, and her thoughts were apprehensive. In two days time either she or Kagome would have to face Ferlias, Kee was hoping Kagome would recover in time. She knew she did not have full access to the powers inside of the body she inhabited. Only Kagome had the ability to bring all of these powers to bear against the youkai lord. Kee couldn't help but remember her own battle with a different youkai lord and found her self praying that this outcome would be different. When Miroku had placed himself in front of danger for her Kee had been given a small glimpse of what true friendship was about. It was in the way the monk had done so thoughtlessly. In the way Sango had reacted to save him. In the way they had thanked each other without saying a word.  
  
It had all reminded her of what she had lacked in life and she couldn't help but wish her incarnation had been a happier time filled with such decent people. It made her regret many of the things she had done in her pursuit of acceptance. And the time she had wasted in her vendetta against the youkai lord.  
  
The monk's question to her earlier was still on her mind. She didn't know any more why she hated youkai as much as she did. She could recall chasing them away from villages in righteous anger at the damage they had done. She remembered many times when she had allowed an innocent youkai to simply exist without doing them any harm. She knew even in her own time there had been youkai whose only want was a peaceful life, and she had spoken with them at great length before she had gone after her stalker. She could also remember killing such youkai during that time, without remorse. She was certain in the beginning she had not been so cruel, that she had not been so single minded in any of the things she did.  
  
~ The longer I am earthbound the more I regret so many things. I am beginning to hate Kagome and the time she wastes now in her isolation from life. I cannot comprehend why she would shy from this, from these friends of hers that obviously care so very much about her. ~  
  
Kee rose from her tree, thinking of things she should have done differently. As she walked closer to the fire a new feeling blossomed inside of her chest and she paused scanning the surroundings distrustfully. This feeling was one she had never encountered before in her experiences as a miko. She felt as if something were trying to escape from her, something that belonged to her that her body was unwilling to give up. She placed a hand over the spot this sensation emanated from, confused.  
  
The stir inside of her grew until it started to feel as if she could not take a breath. She grit her teeth against an involuntary moan.  
  
"Kee?" Ventured Sango from the other side of the fire.  
  
Kee glanced at Sango and noted the worry on her face. She wasn't aware she was gripping the spot on her chest so tightly until her fingers began to ache. Kee once again scanned the forest.  
  
"Something is wrong," She offered finally through labored breaths.  
  
"What do you mean?" Miroku asked from beside her.  
  
She jumped; startled that he had approached her so swiftly. She shook her head not understanding the signals this body was giving to her. After an eternity a single thought came into her mind in Kagome's voice, despite the fact that it was a weak thought Kee clung to it desperately as an explanation for the pressure.  
  
~ Kikyo ~  
  
If that was in fact the reason for this feeling Kee had no idea how Kagome could spend time with Inuyasha if every time the undead miko was near this feeling came upon her. This time as Kee searched the area she allowed her miko powers to flow directly through the point of pressure and out. An answering pressure many yards away rewarded her. She narrowed her eyes. There was no reason for the undead miko to be this close to their vicinity; it was too much of a coincidence. She would have to deal with this situation before they reached the Temple of the Soul. Her anger served to ease the pressure on her chest, allowing her to regain control of her breathing. She absently noted her energies were in flux and then moved away from Miroku realizing belatedly what such a thing would do to him. She felt guilty as she saw his face was drawn with pain.  
  
"I'm sorry Miroku I didn't think..." She stammered.  
  
He held up a hand stopping her apology, "Are you alright now? "  
  
She shook her head, "The undead miko is nearby...she is affecting this body badly. I had not known Kagome felt such things when near her."  
  
Miroku's eyes became guarded and Kee knew she had revealed something that not everyone in this group was aware of. She turned in the direction of Inuyasha and felt a wrench of her gut. The hanyou's face was a mixture of confusion, anger, and pain.  
  
"She has not told you has she" Kee said softly, hating herself for making such a mistake.  
  
"It is not painful for her Kee, she feels only a small pressure when Kikyo is nearby" Miroku shared, attempting to distract her.  
  
She nodded thoughtfully. Why had Kagome not told Inuyasha the physical discomfort she went through when near Kikyo? Why would only the monk know about it? Why was the affect so strong now? In a moment of pure insight Kee knew the reason for the last question. It was this way because of her and Kikyo. Kagome, the rightful owner of this reincarnation had withdrawn so completely that the soul was confused, torn between two of its previous incarnations.  
  
The pressure became more difficult to deal with and Kee knew she would have to find a way to get Kikyo to leave this place. Kee understood that if the soul were trying to reclaim Kikyo then Kagome would die. Kee felt anger color her face. Kagome would not die if she had anything to do with it. Kikyo had no rights to this soul, and Kee was going to make sure she understood that.  
  
"I have something to attend to," She said as she turned and gathered her sword.  
  
"I will come with you" Inuyasha stated firmly.  
  
"No you will not...Sango will. I cannot control what may happen once I find her and I will not have your death on my head" Kee said firmly meeting his amber eyes.  
  
~ Please hanyou stay here. This is heartache enough for you and Kagome. And I cannot promise Kikyo will survive this confrontation. Stay innocent of this, as you have been all this time. ~  
  
She prayed silently that he could read her thoughts or at least get an idea of what circled in her mind. Sango moved over beside her, Hiraikotsu strapped to her back. Kee understood Sango did not see a pleasant outcome for this. And she had to be honest, neither did she.  
  
As they set off Kee tried to get the impression of Inuyasha's hurt filled, smoldering eyes out of her mind only to find she was incapable of this feat. 


	19. Tosh Explains

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
~* Kagome *~  
  
Kagome sat back against her bed hoping she was done with tears, knowing she never would be. Tosh watched her silently, stroking his beard. She could feel the slightest bit of pressure in her chest and resented it. She despised always knowing Kikyo was near and hated the fact that Inuyasha ran off acting as if he were taking an innocent scout of the area. She could never completely get rid of the hurt anger inside of her when such a thing occurred. And to her mind it occurred too often.  
  
"She just won't leave me alone." She whispered angrily.  
  
"Why should she? Both of your paths are now intertwined and there is very little she cannot be involved in." Tosh offered.  
  
She glared at him, "And what do you know about it? You don't have to watch it! You don't have to feel it! You don't have to swallow it and make nice when all you want to do is crawl into a hole and die!"  
  
He nodded, "I just watch my dear. I see things you cannot. I notice things you would never look at. You are so caught up in yourself that you pay attention mostly to yourself and no one else."  
  
"I never asked you to be here!" She screamed at him, hurt and defensive.  
  
"No I suppose you didn't...then again no one asked you to be here either now did they."  
  
It was a simple question, one that cut her to the core. She didn't understand why Tosh was suddenly being so cruel to her. Hadn't she been through enough? Hadn't she shouldered her responsibilities only to be treated as a poor replacement? Why couldn't he understand that she had nothing left to give?  
  
"Kagome" Tosh chided gently.  
  
She fixed her eyes on him. Again his face held that gentle smile that seemed to wash away her despair and anger. Suddenly she felt old as if she had lived a lifetime already.  
  
"Kikyo cannot help but be who she was when she was alive. What she took from you was so tainted that she can see only her wants and needs. What she took from you freed you from such things. Or it should have. I am now wondering if perhaps part of what she took was your ability to deal with these feelings as they came. You have been through so much already and yet you don't see that you are destroying yourself."  
  
"Because I hate Kikyo?" She asked annoyed.  
  
Tosh chuckled, "No girl...because you will not allow yourself the luxury of admitting such a thing to yourself. You do not even hate Naraku though he has more then earned it. Nor do you hate Inuyasha for his indecisiveness when it comes to you and Kikyo. Lesser people would have already succumbed to such powerful emotions, allowed them to rule them. You just let them exist and you are slowly killing your ability to feel. You have such an enormous reservoir of compassion, so much love to give to this world. Yet you will not allow yourself the opportunity to release your anger, fear, pain, except perhaps to the monk you have so valued."  
  
"Leave Miroku out of this" She snapped.  
  
"He is part of it. As is Sango and Inuyasha. They are the cores of your heart; they depict every nuance of what you have inside of you. Inuyasha and his inability to control his anger and frustration, Sango and her peaceful mind...Miroku and his open heart. Grant you, I do not think you have Miroku's more... ahem ...physical vices."  
  
Kagome chuckled at Tosh's term. "So what is it I should do?"  
  
"Trust yourself...and them. If you would gather them to you to express what you feel then use them. Allow yourself to flow through them for that is what a miko does."  
  
"A miko uses people?"  
  
"No Kagome a miko enhances others and gathers from them her own strength. Your own powers are based on what you receive from your friends. That is why they are so strong. That is why even if Kee does face Ferlias while in your body she will lose. Only you can tap that strength and make it what it needs to be to fulfill your duty."  
  
"I don't see how that can be...Kee is a lot stronger then I am" She said uncertainly.  
  
"Kee has her own weaknesses Kagome, she has had to rely on herself a lot. Now she is finding out what it means to not have to be that way and it is harming her in many ways. Where your strength lies in those around you her strength lies in being independent of those emotions. At one time she was referred to as the dark miko and for good reason. Without you controlling it your body is doing as it does naturally and when Kee tries to use that power against Ferlias no matter how much she may not be able to it will destroy her consciousness. Kee will cease to exist anywhere."  
  
"Why"  
  
"These powers are very difficult to understand completely. Let us just say that she does not have the right heart to use it and without the right heart the powers will destroy the offending personality"  
  
"But you said this was Kikyo's job before she died...how can she and I have the same type of heart we're nothing alike!"  
  
Tosh's face grew even gentler then before and Kagome blushed profusely.  
  
"Like night and day Kagome. You should have met her before she knew Inuyasha...she was very much like you. She was perhaps older and more reserved but with the same kind heart. Do not judge her for what she is now...she wasn't always this way"  
  
It stung her to hear such words from Tosh, she had at one time thought the same way about Kikyo. She had even defended her against Miroku when the monk first met her. She put her head in her hands wondering when she had become so cold and uncaring, so devoid of any real feelings.  
  
"It is not too late Kagome." Tosh urged her tenderly.  
  
"Maybe" She responded, unsure.  
  
In the back of her mind she knew Kee was going to face Kikyo and she was secretly hoping Kikyo would respond as she always had so that Kee would teach her a lesson. 


	20. The Dark Miko

A/N: To all you Kikyo lovers out there be forewarned this is NOT a good side to her type chapter  
  
Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Sango took one last look at Miroku and Inuyasha, sharing their obvious trepidation before dashing after Kee whose stride had already taken her beyond the firelight. Even in the gloom of the forest Sango could see the aura lashing around Kee's retreating figure. She was disturbed by the black energy twisted within the normally pink miko power. She had never seen miko powers do what they were doing under Kee's control and Sango began to have a strong sense of foreboding.  
  
At first Sango had been surprised by Kee's choice of her to come along until she realized that Kee picked her because of her immunity to the miko energy. She had felt foolish for not thinking of it sooner. Sango jogged a little faster wondering how Kee could move so quickly. She didn't want to reason out the "why" Kee was moving so fast.  
  
When at last Kee did slow down Sango was slightly out of breath. She studied where they had ended up. Kikyo's soul catchers swam through the air languidly. They had arrived in another part of the forest and Sango slowly put her hand in Hiraikotsu's handle, slipping the length of leather that held it over her shoulder off. Ahead of them stood Kikyo with an expectant smile on her face. Sango had never been understanding of Kikyo's presence and barely withheld an urge to use her weapon against the undead miko.  
  
Kee put out a cautioning hand and Sango relaxed her grip. Kee's eyes were full of the same dark energies that had lit up her aura. Sango took a deep breath and released it as Kee stepped forward into Kikyo's sight.  
  
"Well if it isn't the copy" Kikyo sneered unpleasantly.  
  
"If you were half the miko you used to be Kikyo you would've realized who I was before I even came half way" Kee responded her voice contemptuous.  
  
Kikyo seemed taken aback by the outburst and Sango cheered inwardly.  
  
"Who are you then if you are not that sniveling girl?"  
  
"I am probably the last person you ever thought you would meet" Kee threw at her.  
  
Kikyo's eyes narrowed and she took a few steps forward. From her position beside the tree Sango easily read the distress that crept onto Kikyo's face.  
  
"What has that little nothing done now?" She hissed.  
  
Sango watched Kee's aura flare. Kikyo backed away a step her eyes taking in the dark energies that Sango had noted earlier.  
  
"I know you" Kikyo hissed.  
  
"Not as well as you should Kikyo, but that was always your problem wasn't it? You never pay attention to what is going on right in front of you. You always take the easy routes in life and continue to in death" Kee responded.  
  
"What would you know of it?" Kikyo asked.  
  
"Do you honestly think as a miko you were never paid attention to by the higher beings? You are more a fool than I thought. But that isn't really the point now is it. I know you feel the pull between us...and that you know what it is. You are encouraging it to happen but you do not understand that I will destroy you before I allow you to take possession of this soul again. I am here to give you a warning. Leave...now and I will let you to continue to exist in this form."  
  
Kikyo's face reddened in anger, "And if I do not?"  
  
"Look at me Kikyo, know me for who I am. I am Kee known more readily as the dark miko. I will destroy you undead thing without hesitation...all that tips the scales of life in your favor is that this incarnation", Kee pointed to herself, "She is owed a spiritual debt by you for what you have kept from her. For what you have tried to destroy in her life. It is her life that you live now do not forget that ever. If not for her you would have stayed in the ground where you belong"  
  
Kee's aura grew like a fire reaching for Kikyo.  
  
Now a real look of alarm crossed Kikyo's face and she reached for her bow. Sango tensed hefting Hiraikotsu once again, readying to strike at her. Kee stepped back with one foot, drew her sword, and jumped at Kikyo all in one swift motion. If Sango hadn't been watching closely she would've thought the miko was aiming for Kikyo's throat. Instead Kee came to rest next to Kikyo, her sword held at a slight angle pointing towards the ground. Both women's faces were mere inches apart as they glared at each other. There was a soft crack and Kikyo's bow fell to the ground in two pieces.  
  
"Do we understand each other now dead woman?" Kee asked softly.  
  
Kikyo barely nodded and stepped back summoning her soul catchers to her. They swam around her figure until slowly she began to rise.  
  
"I have no quarrel with you dark miko but the child you inhabit should know I will come for Inuyasha in my own time" Kikyo threatened.  
  
Kee laughed at her, " I am sure Kagome will welcome the challenge. I cannot understand why you were allowed to posses this soul Kikyo you were a poor replacement for me."  
  
Kikyo made no reply, but Sango smiled appreciating Kee's sense of timing. The aura around Kee disappeared as soon as Kikyo was out of sight. Sango replaced the harness to her weapon across her body. When she looked up she was startled to find Kee down on one knee leaning heavily against her sword that she had thrust into the ground. Concerned Sango rushed over to her. Kee was breathing hard and seemed to be in pain. The knuckles of her hands wrapped around the hilt of her sword were white. Sango knelt beside her.  
  
"Kee are you alright?"  
  
"I am fine...just a little empty...it took much to restrict my own reserves and not kill her. She is very...arrogant for one who experienced...as much as she has in this life."  
  
Sango did not like the pale sheen to Kee's face. The decision was made before she knew she had a decision to make for the next thing she knew she was calling out into the night at the top of her lungs, praying the one she called for could hear her. 


	21. Inuyasha's Shame

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Inuyasha watched the girls retreating backs until they disappeared from sight. Even after he strained his hearing, listening to the sound of their near silent passing. All the time his mind whirled with shock. He was finding his ability to deal with the information that Kee had let slip was left wanting. He closed his eyes against the pain that swept through him.  
  
~ She knew...the entire time. She knew where I was going...to whom. Why didn't she say something? Why did she put herself through it over and over again without confronting me? Why didn't she try and stop me? Why didn't I see it? ~  
  
At this last thought he knew the real answer, he didn't want to see it so he had simply not paid attention. There may have been many times she had tried to stop him. Times she clutched her chest or looked at him sadly. He had always discarded the idea that she had seen through his outrageous lies when she turned her brown eyes away from his sadly. Now he knew the truth of it. She had known and he had only lied to her more.  
  
He heard Miroku move back by the fire and sit down. Inuyasha found he didn't have the strength to turn to Miroku yet. He didn't want to see the truth in the monk's eyes either. He swallowed convulsively against the tightness in his throat and wondered idly if it was possible to die of shame.  
  
Finally he did turn to his friend who regarded him grimly across the flames of the fire.  
  
"Why?" It was all Inuyasha could ask.  
  
Miroku met his eyes and Inuyasha resisted the urge to flinch from the depths of sorrow he saw reflected in them.  
  
"Would it have mattered if you knew Inuyasha? Would you have left Kikyo in the darkness?"  
  
Inuyasha desperately wanted to say yes, that he would have done anything to keep Kagome from hurting that much. But he knew it for the lie it was before he even dared say it to Miroku. The monk shifted slightly and motioned for Inuyasha to sit next to him. Only by force of will did Inuyasha move and take the offered seat.  
  
"She knew...she knew all this time and never said anything", he uttered harshly.  
  
"She said things Inuyasha. She said many things to you but you wouldn't hear her."  
  
Inuyasha took the censure without reacting to it. At this moment he felt so lost in all things Kagome that he saw Miroku as his lifeline to understanding what had brought them to this point. He waited for the monk to speak more and was rewarded for his patience when Miroku began to talk earnestly to him.  
  
"She did not want you to suffer Inuyasha. No matter what pain she went through she never once thought that she had a right to demand you leave Kikyo alone. I only found out a few months ago...after Kagome had followed you to where you met Kikyo. It was obvious something was very wrong that day. She had her hand to her chest and was crying by the river. I could not leave her alone as she asked me to and she slowly told me what happened to her when Kikyo was near."  
  
Inuyasha stared into the fire fighting the urge to scream out his shame and anguish, hating Miroku for sharing this intimate detail and wanting to know the full extent of damage he had inflicted on Kagome without knowing it.  
  
"You have no idea how hard it was for me after that. Seeing you go off after knowing Kagome was aware of Kikyo's nearness. I could not understand for the longest time how she could stand such a thing. But she helped me understand something Inuyasha. Something you need to understand. Love doesn't pick and choose whom you will be with in the end. It doesn't listen to your pain; it doesn't care much for giving up. Kagome knew this and even though you did that to her she still to this day cares deeply for you. I have accepted that with much thought and a lot of walking distance between you and I. If she doesn't make it back Inuyasha..."  
  
"She is coming back!" Inuyasha insisted a little too loudly.  
  
Miroku nodded absently then continued, "If she doesn't make it back Inuyasha I think you will regret for the rest of your life what you rejected without even knowing you did. If she does make it back I think you owe it to her to tell her the truth of all of it"  
  
Inuyasha hung his head, "I know that Miroku"  
  
"I hope so for both of your sakes. I hate this, she is not here, and you are a heap of guilt. I will have to make sure to tell her"  
  
Inuyasha looked at Miroku as if he were some new life form. Here he was feeling the worst he had ever felt in his entire life and the monk was making jokes.  
  
"What?" Miroku asked innocently.  
  
Inuyasha narrowed his eyes, "Have I ever told you how much I dislike you?"  
  
Miroku smiled, "Of course but that doesn't mean I have to listen now does it?"  
  
Inuyasha opened his mouth to fire back when a barely heard shout made him jumped to his feet, ears pricked in the direction the cry had come from.  
  
"INUYASHA!"  
  
It was Sango and she sounded like she was almost in tears. He glanced down at Miroku who had jumped to his feet the moment Inuyasha had.  
  
"Something is wrong" Inuyasha told him.  
  
Then the hanyou took off, Miroku following close behind. Inuyasha found it in himself to be more afraid then ashamed as he raced to reach Sango. 


	22. Kagome's True Pain

A/N: Hey all thank you thank you thank you all for the reviews...ummm since I'm doing this I just want to say two things...I know my grammar needs work, one of the reasons I'm writing this is to see if I can improve it...sometimes it looks right and then it doesn't and then my brain takes a trip south with all the sentence structure...hopefully there will be some improvement in this area soon....oh and I have this problem with writing...its an addiction...I binge when a story gets in me head...hopefully through me others will be able to admit to their addictions and that is always the first step to...another binge...Happy reading and be safe. dragonfly-rising  
  
Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
~ Kagome ~  
  
"What were you like when you were alive Tosh?" Kagome asked interested in the old man's history.  
  
The pressure in her chest had gone and she was positive Kee had dealt with Kikyo and sent her far away. She wondered idly what Kee had done to reach this goal and reasoned that only fear chased Kikyo from anywhere. Most of Kagome wanted to enjoy the thought of Kikyo afraid. An almost forgotten part of her mind dampened her joy over this idea with disapproval. She knew well what could scare Kikyo had to be in itself enough to terrify Kagome senseless and this part of her mind insisted that she could never really wish that one anyone. To distract herself from this annoying thought she had asked Tosh the question.  
  
Tosh looked at her with new interest, his smile growing even brighter. She wondered if Tosh had talked to anyone about himself in awhile then decided he had not since as he began speaking his voice filled with excitement.  
  
"Hmm...I was a warrior since I was young and fought many battles. I loved at least two women with everything that I was at the time. I lost them both and grieved the loss though I was left with children from both women. Regrettably circumstances did not allow me the luxury of raising them. "  
  
Here Tosh paused his bright smile evaporating, causing Kagome to reach out and grasp the old man's hand in both of hers. She could feel his inner turmoil through the contact and felt awful for having asked the question in the first place. Tosh gazed down at her warmly even if his eyes were clouded with sorrow.  
  
"I'm sorry Tosh we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to" She offered.  
  
"How kind you are...no it isn't that I do not want to talk of it. I had such high hopes for my children you see. Such high hopes for myself. It was just not fated to be in the end. I died before really knowing the children and have had to watch from far away. It is so hard to be a father when one is as I am. So hard to watch them stumble, to watch them making mistakes that I should have been able to warn them about."  
  
Kagome's heart went out to Tosh, feeling sorry for him and his children. Tosh was silent for a long time before he shook himself and turned his attention back to Kagome. The expression in his eyes warned her his mind had turned to more serious matters. Her mouth went dry instantly and she took her hands from his trying to look anywhere but at him directly.  
  
Suddenly Kagome felt a wave of vertigo wash over her. The feeling was so intense she would have fallen back against the wall of her room if Tosh hadn't put out a hand to steady her. She was shaking so badly even her teeth were chattering. She moved to brush hair from her face and stopped the motion, gazing in horror at her hand that was fading. She could see Tosh through it. In a panic she met his eyes.  
  
"Is this normal?" She asked in a small fear filled voice.  
  
Tosh's expression had turned from serious to palpable apprehension. Kagome felt her own anxiety leap to new levels.  
  
"No that is NOT normal Kagome. You should not be reacting like this. Not here...especially not here" He replied, anger coloring his voice.  
  
"What's wrong with me?" She demanded even as her hand slowly took on a solid look.  
  
"It is your soul Kagome" came an answer from Kee who had suddenly appeared at the end of the bed.  
  
Kagome stared at Kee her mind frantically trying to comprehend what she had meant. Tosh looked at Kee as well, clearly waiting for an answer. Kagome fought herself as fear tried to make her run from Kee, to not hear what the miko had to say, to not know why she seemed to be disappearing. Kee gazed down at her and Kagome had the distinct impression that Kee no more wanted to voice what was happening then she wanted to hear it.  
  
"I chased Kikyo away Kagome...but it was too late. Your soul is adrift without you as its anchor. It cannot exist in this way, and when it goes you will cease to exist. I do not know how much time you have left."  
  
"What does that mean?" Kagome asked looking at both Tosh and Kee.  
  
Tosh sighed frustrated before speaking, "It means that you have a choice. You can return to claim your body from Kee...or you can stay here and allow your soul to return to Kikyo."  
  
"Why her?" Kagome asked angry instantly.  
  
"I cannot keep your soul here Kagome I have lived my life with it. It is aware of this. Only Kikyo exists that can offer this soul a haven to which it is accustomed." Kee explained.  
  
A new panic seized her, "But...but I can't...I'm not ready to go back"  
  
She didn't know if she would ever want to go back, even with this new threat to her very life. She didn't have it inside her to face her friends. To fight any more for something she did not believe in at all. Tears of fear and frustration filled her eyes and she swiped at them angrily. All she could think of was that her world only held pain and disappointment. She craved the peace she had found here with Tosh. No tragic hanyou who couldn't see how much she needed his love. No heartrending monk always on the verge of death because of his curse. No saddening youkai exterminator intent on avenging her family. Just the calm of this sanctuary she had made for herself.  
  
"What is wrong with you you stupid girl?!" Kee exploded at her.  
  
Kagome jerked picking her head up to see an incensed miko whose power flowed around her like a dark whirlwind. Kagome just stared at her blankly, knowing it was incomprehensible to the dark miko for her to just give up.  
  
"You have everything waiting for you out there Kagome...everything that was denied me by myself and others. You have three people who would take their own lives before allowing harm to come to you. You have love and family. You have all of this and yet you still want to deny yourself the very thing you need the most. A purpose." Kee yelled.  
  
"You don't know anything about it Kee!" Kagome screeched back, her own powers flaring about her as she scrambled off the bed, coming around it to stand face to face with Kee.  
  
She failed to note that Tosh paled considerably and moved to a corner of the room that was farthest away from the enraged mikos. She was intent on forcing Kee out of her sanctuary. Her aura clashed with Kee's creating a riot of conflicting colors.  
  
"You have no idea how HARD it is out there. How it tears you down little by little until there is absolutely nothing left inside of you! You've only been around them for a few days and you think you are an expert in their pain? You think you know how far they go just to live one more day so they might finish their vendettas. You think you understand what small role I play, only being their shard detector, never being of any real help, never really accomplishing anything but being a burden on them! You think you grasp how every day I look at Miroku and PRAY that today he won't be taken, or that Kikyo won't take Inuyasha, or that Sango won't meet the same fate as her family." By the end Kagome was choking on her own tears fighting to get the words out that would express her deep abiding sorrow that never seemed to leave her.  
  
"If that is all that you have to offer them then you might as well fade away Kagome because they need YOU now more then ever and in the end you have failed their trust. You have betrayed them in ways they could never comprehend and you were just a waste of energy. In the end all you really turned out to be was an empty copy of a miko who deserved her soul more then you ever did. And even if you will not fight against Ferlias FOR them I will."  
  
With that Kee disappeared and Kagome collapsed into a ball on the floor, her agony filled sobs seeming to echo in the small room. 


	23. Consequences

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
When Kee fainted and collapsed to the ground Sango's heart almost stopped. Inuyasha had yet to show up and she was not sure the hanyou had heard her in the first place. She slowly turned the still gasping woman over onto her back. Kee's skin had turned an odd, and very terrifying shade of blue. Her eyes had rolled into the back of her head and what Sango could see of them flashed with pink and back energy. Barely contained panic drove her to loosen the high collar of Kee's top in an attempt to ease her labored breathing. Nothing changed and Sango bit her lip in frustration.  
  
"Please Kee don't you dare die on me" she frantically begged the woman as she pulled the last of the collar's buttons apart.  
  
Suddenly Kee's arm lashed out striking Sango across her face, sending her crashing to the ground. Sango quickly pushed herself up in a half sitting position just in time to see Kee's body arch painfully upwards. Her eyes widened in horror as a pulsing dome of warring miko energy grew around the stretched body of her friend. With each pulse of the dome it widened. Unable to force her body to run Sango threw herself to the ground covering her head protectively with her arms as the embattled energies in this shield reached her.  
  
An inferno of emotions and physical pain consumed Sango. She imagined she screamed in agony as wave upon wave of this indescribable torture flowed over and through her. Her mind went blank as another, more powerful mind exploded within her. Sango mentally shied away from this other trying to escape the pain before she was engulfed by it.  
  
~ No...No...I don't want to know this ~ Sango shrieked as her last coherent thought.  
  
~ She was empty, lost, and completely alone. Her pain was unending and unendurable. She was weak, too weak to hold up under the burden of her responsibilities any longer. She was without her foundation to help her weather her hardship; all that she had stood for had been stripped, torn away by cruelty of life itself. She had struggled what seemed like an eternity and been rewarded with only emptiness. It had never allowed her a single moment of peace until she had finally taken it for herself forcefully, far away from this ever-present agony. Yet even in this sacred portion of herself the void and sting of her life hounded her, an intruder of malicious intent. Trying to compel her back from her self imposed exile; back into the harsh realities she was escaping by being where she was now. She resented it to the very core of her being, resented the family she loved/hated for needing her, for wanting her return. She hated her self for even considering going back to that cursed place. She was bereft of her faith in everything. She had yet more grief in her soul that caused her to yearn, even in the throes of utter selfishness, for her comrades. She hated/loved them all for pushing her away, for holding so tightly to her, for defending her and attacking her, for loving her and destroying everything she was all without thought of how breakable she could be. She grieved for their losses for the atrocities that had been committed against every one of them. She tortured herself with the sense of impending loss that she had carried all this time on their behalf. She mourned them everyday becoming more entrenched in her agony the closer she got to them. If there had been a time that she had not felt such bittersweet agony she could not recall it. ~  
  
Sango slammed to the ground as the power released her and a desperate tormented sound escaped her. She sobbed hopelessly into the forest floor.  
  
~ Oh Kagome I never knew...I never imagined...I'm so sorry none of us heard your pain. ~  
  
A split second decision made by Miroku and Inuyasha's reaction to the pulsing dome of miko power was all that saved the hanyou's life.  
  
Miroku ran swiftly behind Inuyasha doing his best to keep up with him. He hated not knowing what was happening. He was so intent on keeping himself moving that by the time he realized Inuyasha had stopped it was too late. He slammed into Inuyasha and both of them crashed to the ground with equally loud protests. Inuyasha pushed Miroku off of him with a mumbled insult. They scrambled to their feet and stared in horror at the rapidly approaching energy.  
  
Miroku glance worriedly over at his friend. Inuyasha was watching the rapidly moving dome a grim look on his face. He knew that if the force hit the hanyou there would be no saving him.  
  
"You will have to get Kagome to the Temple Miroku" Inuyasha stated bravely.  
  
"WE will get her there" Miroku countered stubbornly.  
  
"Don't be stupid" Inuyasha snarled tensing.  
  
Miroku glared at Inuyasha and made his decision. He reached out and grabbed Inuyasha by the collar of his robe. Swinging both himself and Inuyasha around Miroku bent over him covering the hanyou with as much of his body and robes as he possibly could. Inuyasha growled angrily and Miroku tightened his grip as the wave of power reached him. He groaned in pain as it ripped through his Air Rip sending rivulets of fire up into his chest. He fought the affect of the other mind sweeping him up into its pain and stayed mostly aware of what was going on around him. Inuyasha shuddered against him.  
  
"Hold on...just hold on" Miroku hissed through his clenched teeth.  
  
Miroku swallowed convulsively against the tightness in his throat. He was being assailed with emotions he could only assume were from Kagome herself. Tears sprang to his eyes in sympathy for the girl. Many of the thoughts that were circling in his mind she had expressed to him in private and he had always felt she took too much on herself.  
  
With a rush the miko energy dispersed leaving Miroku stunned. For a single moment he refused to open his eyes or move in fear that he had not accomplished what he had intend and Inuyasha had indeed perished from the storm. Then Inuyasha moved weakly trying to remove himself from Miroku's embrace and the monk gasped.  
  
"Let me go fool monk" Inuyasha growled at him.  
  
Miroku would have laughed his relief if he hadn't slipped into unconsciousness at that moment. 


	24. Kee's Concern

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters.  
  
Kee woke slowly to the sound of Sango crying and was confused by the noise. She brought a hand up to her face, rubbing at it to erase the fatigue that clung to her. Slowly she sat up and looked over to the youkai exterminator.  
  
"Sango" Kee started then cleared her throat.  
  
Sango jerked in surprise and shocked Kee almost to death by scrambling over to her and throwing her arms around her. Kee tensed immediately unsure as to what was happening.  
  
"Thank the gods you are alive" Sango cried.  
  
"Is there a reason I would not be?" Kee asked puzzled.  
  
"I thought you were dying. You were so blue and then with that miko energy coming out of you..." Sango explained releasing her from the embrace.  
  
Kee noted the haunted look in Sango's eyes with concern, "miko energy coming out of me?"  
  
Sango looked away then, "There was so much of it, and...I swear I felt Kagome in it"  
  
Kee was shocked that the energies she and Kagome had displayed had been expressed in such a way in reality. The turned her attention inward and found that the majority of youkai that she had felt in this area before had disappeared. Only one remained nearby and that one seemed weaker then it had been previously. Kee's heart thumped painfully. That youkai should not have been where she found him. She met Sango's eyes with deepening dread.  
  
"Inuyasha...why is he not farther away?" Kee asked puzzled by the fear in her voice.  
  
Sango paled, "I called him Kee...oh gods if this energy hit him..."  
  
Kee sprang to her feet ignoring the protests her body made over such treatment. She gathered her sword without thinking and took off in the direction she felt Inuyasha was in.  
  
~ Please don't let me have killed him ~ she prayed as she ran.  
  
Kee and Sango found Inuyasha and Miroku not five minutes later, the latter oblivious to the world. Inuyasha was sitting by the monk just staring at him as if in a daze. He looked up as they came into sight. His eyes were full of some unidentifiable emotion. Sango went immediately to kneel at Miroku's side her face full of concern.  
  
"What happened?" Sango asked as she checked Miroku over.  
  
"There wasn't enough time, not for me to get away. So he...shielded me." Inuyasha said with wonder.  
  
Sango looked at Kee and Kee sighed inwardly. She had no idea how much of power Miroku had been exposed to or even which of them, her or Kagome, had been the originator of the power. She moved over and knelt beside Sango.  
  
"I don't know if there is anything to do Sango. He may just have fainted." Kee reasoned as she reached out to touch the monk's forehead.  
  
She instantly felt Kagome's essence in Miroku and allowed herself a silent cheer. The powers that she controlled would have ripped the monk apart and given them no hope for his survival. She had learned that her energies were different then any other miko before her since her time alive. It held more then the power to destroy youkai. She could destroy human souls as well. She pondered the thought that if her and Kagome's powers had mixed sufficiently that perhaps it had been what had communicated Kagome's mind to Sango.  
  
"Did you feel anything from the backlash Inuyasha?" She asked moving away from Miroku.  
  
Inuyasha refused to raise his eyes to hers and Kee felt resentment stir inside. She rubbed absently at her forehead trying to shake a headache that had sprung up over the last few minutes.  
  
"Miroku will be fine Sango. I would guess since he took the brunt of the backlash he was simply overwhelmed." She reassured her.  
  
Sango nodded absently and stroked Miroku's hair. Kee wondered if Sango knew that she was displaying such signs of affection towards Miroku and quickly decided that Sango would be the last to admit such a thing even to her self.  
  
Inuyasha stood up and stepped closer to Kee who turned to him expectantly. He still refused to meet her eyes.  
  
"I felt her. Everything she feels I felt it inside of me as if it were me." He finally said raising his eyes.  
  
If she were capable Kee would have taken the anguish from his golden eyes.  
  
"She isn't coming back to us is she Kee" He whispered.  
  
Kee closed her eyes tightly hating herself for knowing the answer.  
  
"I don't believe so Inuyasha but I still have hope she will find it within herself to come back. To be worthy of the trust you all have put into her." Kee answered just as softly.  
  
Inuyasha turned away from her. She could read every emotion in the tightness of his shoulders and the downcast turn of his ears.  
  
"No she won't Kee, not if what I felt is really in her. I don't know if I want her to come back."  
  
The statement shocked Kee so severely she lunged forward, grasped his arm, and spun him towards her.  
  
"You cannot give up on her Inuyasha!" She said to him in a low voice "She cannot be allowed to stay there. You do not understand...if she stays there inside herself, there will be no more Kagome. Unless you want Kikyo to have her soul back"  
  
Inuyasha's ears perked up in anger, "I want Kagome back!"  
  
She relaxed slightly, "You three are her link to this world you must not give up on her. You have to be here for when she is ready to return. Earlier no, she did not want to come back but I have to trust that she would rather die then to see you suffer. We must hurry though, her time is becoming shorter, and I cannot guarantee that she will survive more then three days."  
  
Inuyasha's face clouded with thought, "How are we going to get there in time if Miroku is really injured"  
  
"WE will get there Inuyasha" Miroku said weakly from the ground.  
  
Kee noted that Miroku seemed pale, shaken, and slightly sick. She smiled at his stubbornness praying they would have enough time. She hadn't been perfectly honest with them, she didn't know if Kagome would last through this day. 


	25. Tosh Almost Reveals Too Much

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the characters  
  
~ Kagome ~  
  
Kagome paced around her room, her mind whirling. Tosh watched her patiently, stroking his beard and at times shaking his head. Kagome was only too aware of why Tosh shook his head at her and she was doing her best not lose her anger in amusement with how stupid she had been when speaking with Kee. Kee had only been trying to help her; she knew that yet for some reason whenever the dark miko came close to her, either here in the sanctuary or just spiritually Kagome's mood drastically would change. Tosh shook his head again and this time Kagome didn't let it go by.  
  
"What?!" she exclaimed throwing her hands in the air.  
  
"You are perfectly aware of "what" Tosh admonished her.  
  
She rolled her eyes, "It isn't my fault she just irritates me"  
  
"Everyone seems to." Tosh agreed  
  
She sighed, letting go of the last of her anger without difficulty. She walked over and sat by Tosh. It seemed easier since Kee left to not be angry. For some reason after Kagome had stopped crying she had felt truly empty of all that she had been holding onto since she came to this era. As if in some way she had struck a dam inside her self and everything had flowed out allowing her the actual peace she had been seeking here.  
  
"Shall we talk now or are you still being stubborn?" Tosh asked lightly.  
  
"That depends...are you going to go off about duty again?" She returned.  
  
Tosh chuckled, "No I think you have had more then enough of that subject. I was willing to talk of anything you desired."  
  
Kagome glanced at him and distrusted the smile on his face. Sure it seemed gentle and wise but underneath it there was a calculating mind. She shrugged off the thought. It didn't matter if Tosh always found some way to steer the conversation towards what she ought to do, she enjoyed the time they spent together. The longer she stayed here with him the stronger his presence became, which brought to her mind something she had been wondering all this time about.  
  
"Tosh...were you human when you were alive?" She asked quietly then looked at him.  
  
He actually grinned at her approvingly then tapped his forefinger on her nose, "I knew you were intelligent"  
  
She couldn't help but giggle, "Well?"  
  
"Well what?" He countered innocently.  
  
She rolled her eyes, "Were you a human when you were alive?"  
  
"Oh that" He remarked as if he had forgotten.  
  
"Come on Tosh, just answer the question and don't lie you are an awful liar"  
  
He huffed at her, "I'll have you know young miko I have always been an excellent liar"  
  
"I seriously doubt that...you don't have it in you to lie"  
  
He fake glared at her, "I most certainly do"  
  
"Nope you really don't Tosh"  
  
He huffed again, "You should watch who you call a truth teller...its just an insult to certain people you know"  
  
She giggled at his choice of words, "I bet you were a youkai...weren't you"  
  
Tosh winked at her, "You would win that bet Kagome"  
  
"And you weren't just ANY youkai were you Tosh. You were an important one."  
  
Tosh's expression grew slightly troubled, "Kagome..."  
  
She placed a hand on his comfortingly, "I won't ask anything else Tosh I don't really need to know anymore. I know there are some things that people just want to keep to themselves"  
  
His expression cleared instantly and Kagome knew she had said the right thing. For the first time in what seemed like ages she felt lighthearted. Her mood turned serious suddenly.  
  
"I don't want to die Tosh," she whispered to him.  
  
Tosh nodded slowly, "You don't have to Kagome"  
  
"But..."  
  
"There are very few times in life that you actually have a real, clear choice Kagome. The rest of the time is spent stumbling and picking yourself up again. It takes a very strong person to be able to walk back into life once they have rejected it. I know that you are that type of person dear girl"  
  
The warmth in his voice brought tears to her eyes. She had so many doubts about her abilities. So many things she would never think to voice bothered her about her own weaknesses.  
  
"One of my children, he reminds me of you. He has tried so very hard to fit in. Has gone to so many lengths to be accepted for who and what he is. I have never been able to tell him how proud I am of his ability to pick himself up after a defeat and move forward. He is quite a remarkable young man. I know you have all that you need inside of you to do what you know you need to do. I also know you do not think you are ready yet. I respect that you have doubts but you must never let them stop you from being true to your own heart."  
  
A single tear slid down Kagome's cheek but this time it was out of happiness. She held Tosh in such high regard that she felt it was a great honor for him to compare her to one of his children. Impulsively she threw herself forward and hugged him. He returned the hug without reservation.  
  
"Ah Kagome you make me wish I had had at least one daughter" He said almost too softly for her to hear.  
  
She smiled to herself, "I don't want to make a mess of this Tosh. I've spent too much time hurting over things I should never have taken so seriously."  
  
"Silly miko, your heart is not something one can turn on and off. You feel so much because you have a strong compassion. It is not an easy thing to deal with. It was a wonder you held up as long as you did without something happening. You must try to think of this as time away to collect yourself and clear your mind. Perhaps by tomorrow the others will reach the Temple and you will be needed."  
  
Kagome felt a stir of fear, "What if I can't do what you think I can"  
  
Tosh chuckled, "I have faith in you Kagome"  
  
"How will I know what to do?"  
  
"Timing my dear, all you need is good timing and a little luck. Just remember you are not alone in this fight, no matter how much you believe it you will never truly be alone. I will always watch over you." 


	26. Usuti's Secret

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Inuyasha gazed at the Temple of the Soul with a mixture of trepidation and grim resolve. It was an unassuming building. Only having one level and made of simple wood, its double doors flung open in what he supposed was an inviting way. To him it just made the small building look more sinister.  
  
He was completely exhausted. For the past two days he had been too anxious to sleep at all. He had stayed up those nights to reassure himself that Kagome's body continued to function and found him self obsessively watching the continuous rise and fall of her breathing. Everyday Kee assured him that Kagome still existed within her private sanctuary. But Inuyasha only became more disturbed as signs of Kee/Kagome's declining health became more and more apparent. Her face had taken on a sallow tone and looked haggard. Dark circles of bruised flesh lay under her light blue eyes. From time to time Kee would become short of breath and they would have to stop, resting until her breathing returned to normal. She refused Inuyasha's offers to carry her and when questioned she would only say she was dangerous in her current condition.  
  
Even more stressful was Miroku's solicitous concern over Inuyasha's health since he had fully recovered from his encounter with the warring miko energies. Inuyasha reasoned that Miroku had been severely traumatized by the incident. Inuyasha had not been touched by the energies at all due to Miroku's selfless act though he had felt the influence through their contact. Since Inuyasha had approached Kee and spoken at great length about the phenomenon he was not as troubled as the monk. She had assured him it was not something he should be overly concerned about. Her reasoning was that since Miroku could, through his spiritual training, sense youkai it was not a great stretch to imagine he could have simply channeled Kagome to Inuyasha without realizing that he was doing so. Miroku had taken such a large amount of the energy into himself that he had possibly convinced himself that he had injured Inuyasha because he felt he had not protected the hanyou enough. Logical as the explanation was Inuyasha could not help but be annoyed with Miroku's attention.  
  
Sango on the other hand had become remote. The best anyone could get from her was murmurs of acknowledgement. As far as Inuyasha knew she spent most of her time staring off, her face a careful mask of calm.  
  
He couldn't blame Sango for her bend towards isolation. None of them had really opened up about what had occurred. They all had taken their own demons from the contact. He supposed even he carried the haunted look in his eyes that he had observed in Sango and Miroku's. He found he couldn't shake any of the emotions from his mind. Kee had taken the time to explain to them that they all carried this type of ...duality. It was her term and Inuyasha had been hard pressed to pay attention once she started using words that he barely understood or cared to understand. Except this time it had stuck in his mind. Kagome's duality had ripped and clawed at his heart, leaving him raw and exposed.  
  
He shrugged off such thoughts when Kee walked up to stand beside him. He glanced over at her, concerned. Her breathing was labored again and sweat beaded on her forehead. Her entire demeanor was of a person on their last leg. He looked away, sickened by his anxiety.  
  
"Will you be able to do this Kee?" he asked her in a low voice.  
  
"If not me...then who else...Inuyasha?" She asked back between breaths.  
  
Miroku, on the other side of Kee, sighed heavily, "Is there any other way around this? Why exactly do you have to be the one to seal this Ferlias? Is he all that much trouble?"  
  
"The last time Ferlias was allowed to escaped his seal he massacred hundreds of thousands of humans and youkai alike. None who stood in his way survived. Though a greater youkai lord supported last time the miko who sealed him. The youkai lord lost his life in the struggle. The miko survived only long enough to seal him. There was great power used that day. Now we have only my power to do this and it will be done even if it required this soul to do it." She stated resolutely.  
  
"Who was the youkai lord?" Inuyasha asked curiously.  
  
"The Lord of the Southern Lands, a great cat youkai named Usuti."  
  
Inuyasha's eyebrows rose, "Isn't that the name of..."  
  
"Yes the name of the priest we are going to, so he may try to heal Kagome" Kee interrupted her breathing finally returned to normal  
  
"Is that a coincidence?" Sango asked.  
  
"No more coincidence then my name being Kee, then Kikyo, then Kagome for this soul's reincarnation" Kee commented with amusement.  
  
"One of the previous carnations was responsible for sealing Ferlias?" Miroku asked.  
  
Kee nodded slowly, " It is circular. Hopefully this will be the last time."  
  
"Why don't you just destroy him?" Inuyasha asked.  
  
"If it were that easy it would have been done. Ferlias is a special kind of youkai. He is not just a youkai he is also a higher being of immense power. The mixture makes him impossible to kill, at least by miko standards. Until such a time comes that someone discovers a permanent way to kill him resealing him to the void is all that can be done. This is how it has been since he was born into this world."  
  
"Why haven't other higher beings destroyed him?" Inuyasha asked exasperated with the whole thing.  
  
He hated the idea of Kagome being charged with such an awesome responsibility as this. He resented it for her and Kee's sake. If the higher beings had allowed Ferlias to emerge in the first place he couldn't understand why they, or namely Kee/Kagome, had to clean up after such a monumental mistake.  
  
"They cannot. It is impossible for them to exist as Ferlias does and that is the only way for them to be able to affect him. If they did it would upset the natural balance to such a large extent that it would allow even worse abominations then Ferlias to come into this world. It is difficult to maintain this balance. So they create such beings as the mikos trying to correct missteps like Ferlias." Kee explained.  
  
"So this is unavoidable," Sango asserted.  
  
"Yes it is unavoidable."  
  
"Wait...if a youkai lord helped the last miko to seal Ferlias how are you going to be able to do it alone?" Miroku asked worriedly.  
  
"I did not say the youkai lord helped the miko Miroku...just that he supported her."  
  
Inuyasha easily picked up on the play of words, "She had to fight both of them?"  
  
"Yes...at first Usuti did stand in the way of Ferlias's emergence. Once he realized how powerful the miko was he turned on her and lost his life. Now his reincarnation waits for us inside."  
  
"We are walking into a trap?!" Inuyasha exclaimed.  
  
"Yes...did you not think Usuti would betray us to open the seal? It is what must happen. This situation has happened before...until the cycle is broken it will happen again. But I cannot shrink from my role in this. If no one stands against Ferlias many will die that are innocent...and those not so innocent."  
  
Inuyasha was deeply disturbed by the fatalistic tone of Kee's voice.  
  
~ She does not expect to survive this. ~  
  
Kee took a step forward then turned her eyes passing over all of them and Inuyasha got a sense that she was taking their measure. She was silent for so long Inuyasha flinched when she began speaking due to tension.  
  
"All of you must remember what I have to say, you must take it to heart. Kagome's ability to return may depend on your trust in her and her abilities. Her survival may rest on it. I will not being going in there as Kee but as Kagome and I must be able to convince Usuti that I do not wish to be as I am. He must believe it completely. None of you can react as if that isn't the truth of the matter. Hold Kagome in your hearts tightly, do not let her go no matter what you think is the right thing for you to do. She is not allowed to fade away."  
  
As she spoke Inuyasha found his eyes wandering to the unassuming temple. He thought perhaps they might just be walking into the worst situation they had ever encountered. That perhaps not all of them would be walking back out of the double doors to feel the sun on their faces again. The thought was mind numbing and Inuyasha pushed it away, praying it was not the truth. 


	27. Make An Actor Proud

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters.  
  
If Sango had not been privy to the differences in personalities between Kee and Kagome she would have never thought twice that it was not Kagome who talked so desperately to the priest Usuti.  
  
Usuti had come to meet them at the door as they mounted the last steps. He appeared to be a middle aged man of no remarkable characteristics save that he habitually rubbed at the prayer beads that hung on the front of his belt as he listened attentively to Kee. Sango did everything she could to not seem as if she knew something was different about the girl.  
  
"Will you help me?" Kee begged of Usuti as her tale finished, she even topped the performance off with tears in her eyes.  
  
"Of course dear child, I am but a servant to those in need. Please do come in." Usuti said gesturing for them to enter.  
  
Sango brought up the rear of the group as they went through the doors and down a long hallway. As they went Usuti and Kee continued to discuss the particulars of what had happened. Sango swept the hallway suspiciously as a feeling of immense power overcame her. It was like stepping into the presence of some omnipotent personality and she resisted the urge to hunch her shoulders in reaction. She watched Inuyasha's ears perk and then quiver continuously as if he were anticipating a dangerous sound. Miroku, beside Inuyasha, did his best not to appear as if he were entering enemy territory, in fact he passed the concept off brilliantly. He offered tidbits of information when Kee faltered in her story telling, seeming at ease with the entire situation. Sango shook her head in wonderment. He was such a consummate actor. If she were Usuti she would not have suspected a thing with Miroku and Kee doing so well at their jobs. She was glad she was not being called upon to convince the priest. She had never been very good at hiding the truth. Especially not in hostile circumstances like the one they now found themselves in. Even the familiar weight of Hiraikotsu did nothing to ease her growing anxiety.  
  
They came to a spiral staircase that led downward. There Usuti paused, as if sensing their uneasiness.  
  
"The earth is a conduit for the soul, within the earth is the chamber that I perform such rituals to help lost souls" He informed them then proceeded to descend.  
  
Sango noted Inuyasha's hand going to his weapon's hilt as he followed the others. She held back slightly before also went behind them, her hand going to the side of Hiraikotsu in an attempt to dispel her apprehension.  
  
"It is not often a miko comes to me in need of my services." Usuti commented, his voice carrying back to Sango.  
  
"I'm not all that trained in my miko powers yet. Yensa took me by surprise." Kee informed him, sounding more naive then Kagome had ever been.  
  
~ Don't lay it on too thick Kee. Kagome was never stupid. ~  
  
"You are old for not knowing how to control such things" Usuti replied.  
  
Sango tensed, taking offense for her friend's sake.  
  
"They did not awaken in me until recently" Kee smoothed over.  
  
Usuti seemed to accept this reasoning, "Unless there is need that can happen. It must have been difficult for you."  
  
"It was at the time...and now this happened" Kee said, sounding distracted.  
  
Sango found out a moment later why as they entered an enormous chamber. On the opposite wall then the one that the staircase emptied out of stood a rectangular engraving of a massive youkai. It stood with arms outstretched as if welcoming people who entered the chamber. Its face was human enough save for the horns that rose out of its forehead curling backwards. Its extended hands ended in wicked claws. It was draped in a robe that held many symbols down the outer edges. Sango could understand perhaps three of the symbols those of "soul", "purification", and "endless". She was lucky to understand those since most was written in such an old text that anyone without training in ancient youkai writing would not recognize any.  
  
Sango pulled her eyes away from the figure and studied the rest of the room. It was illuminated by maybe twenty torches along the walls. The walls were carved with even more ancient writing, none of which Sango recognized. In the center of the cavernous room stood a long wooden table with steel loops placed in such a way that made it obvious that the person laid on the table was to be restrained. Off in the back left corner stood an area that was covered in even more tightly packed writing that flowed down onto the floor, arched in a semicircle and then flowed up again to arrived back to the continuous writing.  
  
Usuti walked closer to the table and then turned to them, his face serious.  
  
"I have noticed that you travel in the company of a hanyou and a priest with a dark presence. I must assume you do not wish harm to come to them."  
  
"No I don't" Kee confirmed.  
  
"Then they must enter the symbols of protection. What I must do may release your miko powers into this chamber for a few moments and such a thing would destroy them." Usuti explained gesturing to the circle in the corner that Sango had noted earlier.  
  
Kee nodded and glanced back at Sango. Inuyasha decided then to allow his normally charming personality to come out and Sango sighed in frustration with him.  
  
"I am not going anywhere near those things" Inuyasha maintained stubbornly.  
  
"Inuyasha..." Kee began.  
  
"No miko it is understandable for the hanyou to be suspicious. Rarely do youkai or half youkai volunteer to be near such things. But you must understand for me to fix what has been done to her I must be able to erase all of her concerns. Since this will put you in danger I must insist that you either leave the chamber entirely or submit to the protective circle. No harm will come to you there I assure you." Usuti explained.  
  
"Inuyasha please" Kee asked.  
  
Inuyasha's face darkened and Sango knew what would come out of his mouth next. She stepped in front of him deliberately blocking his view of Usuti. She put a hand on his arm.  
  
"Inuyasha this is the only way. We're here to help Kagome get better...remember?" She said forcefully.  
  
He gazed down at her, his golden eyes almost burning her with their intensity. She knew what concerns he had, knew that it was killing him to back down in something that would put him at a disadvantage to helping Kee/Kagome if the need came. She squeezed his arm in understanding and hoped he understood what she was trying to convey.  
  
~ We know it's a trap Inuyasha but please don't mess this up. It may be Kagome's only chance, if she wants it, to come back to us. It may be Kee's only chance to survive. ~  
  
Unbeknownst to Inuyasha Sango had indeed spoken to Kee about what had happened. She had also accidentally found out what would happen to Kee if Kagome did not choose to return. Sango had been having a troublesome time with the knowledge up until now. She found that she had to be the one to uphold Kee's wishes and permit, if Kagome did not decide to return, the miko to die doing exactly as she preferred. Although Sango felt traitorous in allowing such a thing she simply could not stand in Kee's way. Not after all that Kee had gone through. Not after knowing it was oblivion that Kee faced if it happened. There was too much at stake now. Not only Kagome was at stake but also the rest of their world. Her father had instilled too much responsibility for the world into Sango for her to turn her back on it.  
  
She hardened the look she was giving Inuyasha and he responded by closing his eyes momentarily. When he opened them again Sango wished she hadn't been privy to such a glimpse into his internal state. So much of his soul swam in those tawny orbs, so much unspoken emotion. Sango felt the slight shudder that ran through his body and knew he was barely holding himself back.  
  
"For Kagome Inuyasha" Miroku said coming up beside them.  
  
Inuyasha dipped his head slightly, "For Kagome". 


	28. An Interesting New Talent

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Kee watched Inuyasha and Miroku enter the circle of protective spells, the latter almost dragging the former into it. Usuti followed and bent down placing his hand overtop of the writing and chanted. There was a momentary flash of blue light, the symbols glowing as well, and then Usuti stood.  
  
She observed Inuyasha and Miroku shift uneasily. Both of them seemed to be barely containing themselves from leaving the now shielded area. Their eyes went to her and she felt a wave of their worry wash through her. To her amazement she realized that her empathy had become heightened inside this chamber. Her next discovery almost caused her to lose her resolve. Their concern was specifically...for her. Granted they were just as concerned for Kagome's sake but she had never been the focus of such regard. It filled her mind with even more unfamiliar emotions. For a second it seemed unfeasible for her give up these people and she entertained the thought of simply staying in this body, as impossible as it was.  
  
Usuti drew near her and new feeling swept over her, one of malicious intent towards her. She quickly discarded the frivolous thoughts and worked on not allowing her knowledge to become apparent on her face. Usuti motioned for her to follow him and made his way over to the table. Kee went after him, aware that Sango stayed near her side.  
  
"Please lay down on the table" Usuti instructed.  
  
Kee did as she was told, her heart beating faster then she had thought it ever could. She noted that Sango had moved the strap of leather that held Hiraikotsu from her back so that it lay over her shoulder, readily available to her if she needed it. Usuti clasped her wrist gently and moved it so that he could place the first of the restraints. As he did so Sango mirrored his actions on the other side. Kee resisted the shudder that crept through her at the touch of the evil monk.  
  
"This will be very difficult for your body, the restraints are to insure you do not injure yourself as the transformation takes hold." Usuti explained as he shut the restraint with a clunk of metal.  
  
~ So I do not injure you you mean toad. ~  
  
On Sango's side of the table there was another sound of locking but Kee knew the youkai exterminator had secretly made sure the locks did not close completely. She could feel Sango's satisfaction. From Usuti came excitement, a type of disgusting glee for placing such a strong miko in a position of vulnerability. Kee resisted the impulse to burn the priest only just.  
  
To her left Sango watched the priest suspiciously, her eyes never leaving him for a moment. Usuti stepped back. Sango emulated his action. Usuti raised his hands, closing his eyes as he began to chant. His hands began to glow a sickly green. Kee saw Sango tense and quietly put her hand in Hiraikotsu's leather handle ready to strike the man. Sango's patience was terrible as it communicated itself to Kee. It was a deathwatch and Sango was the sentry, she anticipated his demise with grim pleasure.  
  
Kee breathed deeply and closed her eyes, readying herself. She found herself beseeching Kagome to return before she had to destroy herself in the empty attempt to reseal Ferlias. She had no idea if Kagome heard her silent plea or if the girl even cared to hear anything anymore. She felt something stir inside the spirit of the body then expand slowly outward. She had no idea what it was that the spirit was doing without her compulsion but she did not try to stop it, trusting that it reacted to protect her.  
  
Her attention was such that she didn't notice when Sango stepped up quickly and placed Shikon Jewel shards that they had collected inside the front of Kee's top, and then stepped back to her former position. Unnoticed the jewel shards slipped of their own accord against the girl's skin. They began to glow pale silver and commenced pulsing in time with her heart.  
  
Across the room Miroku narrowly avoided gasping as the feeling of sinister magics became apparent to him. It breathed into the very air inside the enclosure he and Inuyasha were trapped in. Neither of them fooled themselves into believing that what Usuti had been doing was anything but that. Inuyasha growled lowly, obviously feeling the same thing. Miroku wasn't surprised that the hanyou could sense it. But both of them were at the moment helpless to do anything more then wait. Miroku was certain that if either of them touched the shield of magic they would die instantly.  
  
He at least could thank the gods that Sango stood at Kee's side, ready with Hiraikotsu to take down the priest. He had many times depended on her ability to defend them and felt a wave of affection for her pass through him. When she started and looked over at him in astonishment he got the distinct impression that she had felt what he had been thinking. He looked away from her in embarrassment though a returned flow of affection filled his body.  
  
"Keep your pervert feelings to yourself" Inuyasha muttered, obviously annoyed.  
  
Miroku glanced at him, "What?"  
  
Inuyasha didn't take his eyes off of the figures by the table, "You heard what I said...keep your pervert feelings to yourself...I don't need to know what's between you and her."  
  
Miroku felt his blood rush to his face even as he realized that Inuyasha was affected by the same astounding phenomenon as he and Sango. 


	29. The Sentry

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
~ Kagome ~  
  
Kagome sat in her sanctuary, her attention focused inward. Her surroundings had changed since she had felt the nearness of an evil she had never encountered before. Unknown to her it was a reaction set off by Kee and the others stepping into the chamber of Ferlias.  
  
Now she was seated in what could only be described as a shrine. In front of her sat a figure carved in stone. Beside her sat Tosh, completely at ease with the changes to their environment. He watched Kagome with an expression of approval.  
  
Kagome slowly came out of her stupor, her face drawn with alarm. She looked at Tosh expectantly.  
  
"Can you feel that?" Kagome whispered.  
  
Tosh nodded slowly. A sense of immense evil pervaded the shrine, and had since Kagome had gone into the trance. It was almost physically sickening to be in its presence.  
  
"It is Ferlias child," Tosh explained.  
  
"This isn't just evil is it Tosh. Naraku...he is evil. This is beyond what Naraku feels like when we get close to him. It's all the hatred in the world put into a room with the door closed. Like its slowly working its way out through the cracks and you are the person standing by the door."  
  
"Aptly put dear miko. That is Ferlias. He is more then evil, there is no word to describe what he really is."  
  
Her eyes turned to Tosh's, "And Kee...I mean I'm supposed to stop this from coming out?"  
  
Her fear was obvious and Tosh put a comforting hand on her knee, "My dear dear girl, I have tried to prepare you for this and I had hoped to do a much better job but our time has run out. Soon Ferlias's seal will be broken. Soon you will be called upon to be the type of person you and I both know you are."  
  
"But..."  
  
"No Kagome. There is no more time. No more excuses for you not to do what you were born to do. You have been self indulgent for far too long and you are well aware of that. If not then you would not have sensed Ferlias or what he was."  
  
Kagome shied from Tosh's tone of voice. It held disappointment in her. Tosh sighed heavily then gathered her up onto his lap. She went willing, not for a moment viewing it as inappropriate for her to be there. He hugged her to him and began to rock gently.  
  
"They need you Kagome, they need your love, your undemanding loyalty, your steadfast insistence that they must endure. Without your guidance they are lost to the darkness and will never return. You know you cannot allow this child of my heart."  
  
"You really think I can do this?" she asked softly.  
  
"If you can change the heart of a stubborn, angry hanyou little miko you can accomplish anything you set your mind to."  
  
Kagome smiled at the thought then tensed as an unfamiliar throbbing began, rushing all over her body. Tosh growled low in his chest and Kagome's mind compared it to the way Inuyasha would growl when he was angry.  
  
"It has begun." Tosh intoned ominously.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sango raised Hiraikotsu slightly as the glow from Usuti's hands coursed over Kee's form. Kee moaned softly, her face contorting in sudden pain. Usuti's chanting began to fill the chamber despite the fact that Sango was certain the priest had not raised his voice. Sweat began to bead on Usuti's forehead and the glow intensified. Sango took a step back, her mind urging her to run from the chamber. She endured the impulse and stood her ground backed up by Miroku and Inuyasha's own restraint. Kee's entire body tensed and another, stronger moan came from her. Sango bit the inside of her lip wanting to strike down Usuti before the ritual went any further. Still Miroku and Inuyasha sent her commands of patience. She did not stop to question why she could sense their feelings; it was reinforcing to feel their support behind her actions. She waited for an eternity and longer. Even after Kee's moans turned to half screaming protests she held back.  
  
She had to stay vigilant for all of them. She was the sentry.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Inuyasha concentrated on holding Sango back. They had gone through too much to allow something to go wrong now. Kee's screams pierced through his delicate hearing and he laid his ears down tight against his skull. His claws dug deeply into the flesh of his palms drawing blood that slowly dripped from his fisted hands. He welcomed the pain; it helped him to hold back his own impulse to drive Tetsusaiga into the shield that surrounded them and from there into Usuti.  
  
Kee's body arched upwards painfully, the figure struggling powerfully against the restraints, her screams rising in pitch and intensity. He kept his eyes on her, willing the empathic connection he, Sango, and Miroku shared to at least extend partially to her allowing her the smallest amount of comfort from their combined support. He was receiving none of the incredible pain she was visibly going through, which made him uncertain that it extended to her as well.  
  
He had to stay strong for all of them. He was the sentry.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Miroku flinched from the sound of Kee's screams even as he endeavored to restrain Sango and Inuyasha from acting too quickly. With monumental effort he was forcing them both to be patient to wait until the opportunity was right. The green glow shot from Kee's suffering form to the relief of the horned youkai bathing it with its light. Miroku grit his teeth as Kee's miko powers began pulsing underneath the unhealthy light making a barrier of black aura between her and the priest's power. He had to stay vigilant in his efforts to keep Sango and Inuyasha at bay. For Kagome and Kee's sake he had to remain the calm in their storm. He kept his eyes on Kee's form willing the pain to cease, willing himself to stay tranquil and controlled even as his own want for action began to form.  
  
He had to stay centered for all of them. He was the sentry. 


	30. To Be Of The Dark Miko

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
~ Kagome ~  
  
Kagome breathed through the ever-increasing pain as Tosh held tightly to her. She understood it was what was happening to Kee that caused it. She knew it must be endured. She felt her soul's energies flowing to the emptiness that was Ferlias. Feeding him so that he might break the seal that held him, drawing from her what he needed. To her shame it was everything that she had felt since entering her sanctuary that gave him the most strength. All of her negative fervor that had gathered and spread to her friends was going to be the cause of his release.  
  
That her friends knew of her inner turmoil fed her shame, which in turn fed Ferlias. How she knew they were aware of it she could not say, but she knew. She felt it as it writhed in each of them, as it tore at the core of who they were. And then she felt Kee. Kee who had embraced her friends, supplied them half truths so that they continued to have faith in Kagome, all the while despising Kagome for her weakness. This too went to Ferlias as an offering for his release.  
  
"Shed these trappings little miko...before it is too late." Tosh advised her.  
  
That she heard him through her torment did not shock her. Tosh, who now she could feel as well with this newfound talent, she clung to him, to his ever-patient heart and eternally peaceful mind. To this she added Miroku, who was the center of everything. Inuyasha who even, in this moment of pure clarity, was the strength of all things alive. She collected to herself, Sango, the person who stood as always the patient guardian of their unpredictable lives and hearts. And last there was Kee who was the emptiness that surrounded them making them fearful, forcing them to cling to those in their lives for companionship.  
  
She gathered all of them binding them together within her soul, making a tapestry to defeat even the highest of beings. Then she waited patiently, for all she had was time, all which existed was the correct moment to reveal her self.  
  
She had to be poised for all of them. SHE WAS THE SENTRY.  
  
Around her stilled form the shrine faded becoming a flux of miko power. Tosh continued to hold her, his eyes beginning to change to red as his anger grew. His pride of the self-contained miko in his arms had grown to such a degree that he had flowed into her gathering mind with ease and self- indulgent delight. It had been so very long since he had clashed with another being. It had been so very long since he had been moved to such a degree that it warranted his involvement, something that begged for his own personal touch. At this moment he was so moved to break commands of the Others...for her...for his son he would battle yet again.  
  
Sango turned to the figure of Ferlias as the stone facade fractured down the center. Despite the rupture Usuti continued to feed Kee's energies into the frontage. Kee gave a final shriek before collapsing onto the table.  
  
~ Now? ~ She asked Miroku and Inuyasha  
  
~ Yes NOW ~ came the reply.  
  
With dark satisfaction Sango hefted Hiraikotsu and let it fly. It swung close to the crumbling statue then turned to Usuti. The priest did not have time to notice before the weapon tore through his body sending him to the floor in pieces. Sango reached out and grabbed Hiraikotsu on the return, skidding backwards as always bracing herself against the weight of the weapon. She dropped it unceremoniously to the ground and ran to Kee's side. The woman's black energies snapped around her ominously. Sango grabbed hold of her shoulders, shaking her. At first Kee did not respond.  
  
More of the stone struck the floor, a light similar to the green one of the priest's began to show through the center fissure. Sango shook Kee harder. Without warning Kee's eyes snapped open and Sango, Miroku, and Inuyasha were made privy to why she was really called the dark miko. Through Kee came a flood of dark emotions that somehow were purified through her miko powers making them righteous. Kee's essence was a great and terrible war of dark and light much like what had been involved in the shield they had encountered so many days ago. They all drank deeply of it and became one with the dark miko without hesitation. She was their focus, they lost themselves within her and she drank deeply of them becoming one with their essence to enhance her own.  
  
Kee's eyes swam with the mystic energy as she went to rise from the table. One side of restraints fell away from her, the others she tore off with little to no thought. She dismounted the table and stood beside Sango whose eyes also swam with the same energies as Kee's. Sango she allowed to remain separate from her enough so that the youkai exterminator could respond to danger and attack. Behind them Inuyasha's eyes flashed red and black, Miroku's were pitch black where nothing moved.  
  
The last of the stonewall cascaded to the floor, a dark opening that swirled and writhed could be seen before two clawed hands grasped the edges and pulled. Sango retrieved Hiraikotsu, readying to fling it. Kee's aura grew and lashed around her as she drew her sword.  
  
The Shikon Jewel fragments, still unnoticed, glowed a little bit brighter. 


	31. The Sentry of the Soul

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters...except Kee, Usuti, and Ferlias  
  
~ Kagome ~  
  
Kagome felt the pull of the dark miko and rejected it. With a bare minimum of tolerance she observed the change of her friends for the dark ones purpose and resolved to unmake it soon; the risk to Inuyasha and Miroku was immense. She could feel the slow dissolve of their spirits within the force that was the dark miko's to control, but for the monk and hanyou the danger was tripled. They were in close contact with miko energy and if for one moment the dark miko lost control it would seal their death. She sensed Ferlias step into the world which he was bent on destroying, her resolve hardening into steel. She would stop Ferlias. This time nothing would stand in her way of utterly destroying him. Perhaps she would have questioned such a thought if she had been paying more attention, if her focus was not so concentrated on her friends. In the end she embraced such incomparable purpose with abandon born of a timeless soul and a vast heart that covered centuries of mikos born and reborn with one single-minded intention.  
  
She was the Sentry of the Soul, more higher being then human. And in this realization Kagome found it within her to forgive Ferlias for his trespasses. It did nothing to dissuade her from the course she had already chosen. Ferlias would be obliterated; it was what had to happen. She did not shy from this grim duty.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kee could feel her, Kagome, waiting in the back of her mind. Kee was too full of miko energy to be distracted by her continued presence, as it had always been the energy had a life force of its own, its own purpose to finish. Ferlias had emerged from the portal and now stood looking across at her. He was smiling contemptuously.  
  
"Do you truly think you have the power to stop me dark miko?" He asked.  
  
Kee was taken aback. She had not expected him to know who she was in this body. That he did sent the first sliver of doubt into her mind. Sango's mind, so apart from the others, wheeled in concern.  
  
~ He is so large. ~  
  
Kee scanned her eyes over her enemy. He was just as large as his stone statue had been, his horns mere inches from the chamber ceiling. One of his clawed hands rested on the hilt of a huge sword that hung on his waist. The blade of it was thick and curved wickedly. When Ferlias moved his robe made soft hisses that sent chills down her spine, it reminded her of a nest of vipers she had stumbled into once when she was alive. Though she had seen the picture of his form on the wall for some reason she could not conceive of why he resembled a human so much. Her mind had taken poetic license with his appearance and made him into a creature she could hate on sight. Now as she really looked at him she found herself questioning her reasoning.  
  
~ Rid yourself of such trappings little miko ~  
  
Kee blinked in astonishment, she had heard Tosh as if he stood right beside her. Even more distressing was that now Ferlias's smirk had become an expectant leer. Angered she felt her aura flare more brightly.  
  
"Your tricks will not work on me Ferlias," She hissed at him.  
  
Ferlias shrugged then looked about the chamber as if he were disappointed with its dimensions.  
  
"To have been banished to such a small forgotten place. How very disrespectful. I shall have to teach this world how to treat its ruler more considerately." He said with the air of someone bored.  
  
"What makes you think this time you would be victorious?" Kee snapped.  
  
Ferlias's eyes flickered to hers with annoyance. "What makes you imagine that you can do what you want to do to me? This place is inappropriate for such a preordained event wouldn't you say dark miko? Yes most undignified. Shall we move to a more...fight worthy arena?"  
  
Kee tensed as Ferlias's eyes, once green now turned a dark, blood red. A whirlwind rose inside the chamber kicking dust into her face. Kee gnashed her teeth in frustration bring her hand up to protect her face.  
  
~ I did not realize he had such power ~ She thought as she felt herself lifted and shoved to a different place.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As the dust settled Kee felt a rush of fresh air surround her. She slowly opened her eyes, lowering her arms as she did.  
  
Ferlias had brought her to a large field, blackened by some recent fire. Skeletons of youkai and human alike were strewn carelessly about the ground like toys discarded by a spoiled child. If a portion of land could give off a sense of death this was what Kee felt filling her soul as she glanced around the obvious battlefield.  
  
Kee quickly checked for the others, finding them in the positions they had been in within the chamber. Though now the immobile forms of Inuyasha and Miroku were no longer surrounded by Usuti's spell and stood completely vulnerable to her miko energy.  
  
Kee resettled her eyes back to the figure of Ferlias who looked satisfied.  
  
"Your handiwork?" Kee asked not bothering to hide the disgust in her voice.  
  
Ferlias smiled slowly, "No I'm afraid not. This would be that upstart Naraku's doing. I am very unhappy with that one. His goals are small and fueled by his human soul. I mean really if one is going to become a youkai through the means he employed he should have the decency to discard that useless bit of humanity left in him. I will have to arrange to deal with him myself...once I am done with you of course."  
  
Three parts of her blended power resented Ferlias for his arrogance. They would not be denied their vengeance. Kee did not miss the tilting of Ferlias's head, as if he were hearing the outcry inside her and was enjoying its dissonance.  
  
Ferlias finally pulled his sword with a sluggishness that spoke volumes of his confidence. Kee readied herself aware peripherally that Sango had done the same.  
  
"So shall we begin?" Ferlias suggested.  
  
Kee narrowed her eyes then rushed forward.  
  
~ I will survive this ~ 


	32. The Battle Rages

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters.  
  
~ Kagome ~  
  
Kagome stood, floating in her new environment. Her eyes were closed as she focused on the battle being waged outside her body. She was slowly becoming incensed. Kee, though a skillful fighter, was flagrantly ignoring the fact that her miko energies were becoming unstable. The longer Kee fought the less control she exhibited. The wounds being inflicted on Kagome's body now were expressing themselves on Kagome even in this separate place apart from her physical form. A long ugly gash ran down the outside of her sword arm, blood flowing slowly down to her fingertips. Four ugly marks extended along her cheek almost to her lip where Ferlias had reached out and slashed. Right below her ribs was another ugly gash that separated the cloth of her outfit, soaking the cloth with blood. Though Kagome felt almost none of the pain she would shudder from time to time when Kee used her own miko powers against Ferlias, who seemed to only shrug it off.  
  
Kagome knew the time was coming for her to reemerge and she welcomed it. But she had to be very cautious, Inuyasha and the others were so deeply entrenched within Kee that if she did not separate them from the dark miko all of them would die instantly. Even Sango who had no weakness against this power would perish if Kee did not relinquish the body to Kagome. She had a plan for this, expecting Kee to fight her.  
  
Inside the stream that was all of the beings brought together by her magics she felt and heard all that had transpired. Each individual floated up to be noticed by the miko and she held to these flashes of intimacy as guides to their souls.  
  
~ Tosh ~  
  
"Allow yourself to flow through them for that is what a miko does"  
  
"A miko uses people?"  
  
"No Kagome a miko enhances others and gathers from them her own strength"  
  
~Miroku ~  
  
"Love doesn't pick and choose whom you will be with in the end. It doesn't listen to your pain; it doesn't care much for giving up."  
  
~Sango ~  
  
"I don't know really...you kind of have to know Kagome. She has this way of linking people. I hated Inuyasha and Miroku when I first met them but after awhile, after talking with Kagome about them I began to see them differently..."  
  
~Inuyasha ~  
  
"She isn't coming back to us is she Kee"  
  
~Kee ~  
  
"You have everything waiting for you out there...everything that was denied me by myself and others...and even if you will not fight against Ferlias FOR them I will!"  
  
She held them as tightly as she could though they hurt her. The pain was momentary and proved to her that she still had it in her to know the difference between words from someone hurt and words said only to appease.  
  
Suddenly a familiar magic became apparent to Kagome and her closed eyes flew open in shock. She stared at Tosh who floated in front of her, his eyes completely red.  
  
"How did he get that?!" Kagome almost screamed at the old man.  
  
"How else? His servant used it and when you destroyed her it returned to its rightful owner. Do not become so agitated this may well work to our advantage." Tosh snapped.  
  
Kagome did not shrink from his voice this time, she was well aware of how full youkai responded when angry and was grateful that Tosh still had his wits about him enough to speak coherently.  
  
"We will have to move quickly if he does use it Tosh...be ready." Kagome ordered then closed her eyes again.  
  
Even in his anger Tosh nodded slightly in acknowledgement and suppressed his urge to release the others immediately. He had to wait until the correct moment.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*  
  
A pained grunt was forced out of Kee, as she slammed hard onto the ground. It was the fourth time in as many minutes that she had done so. Ferlias stood back waiting for her to rise as he had on the other occasions. Kee shook her head to clear it and pushed herself off of the ground, biting her lip against the pain that coursed through her body. Blood soaked nearly every inch of her clothing making it heavy. She attempted to control her breathing as she glared at Ferlias. He seemed unconcerned over being the object of hatred.  
  
~ He is toying with me. ~ She thought angrily swiping away blood from the corner of her mouth.  
  
Inside of her Inuyasha, Miroku, and Sango fought for their individuality so they could come to her aid more readily. She had noticed with some surprise that Inuyasha's sword was glowing a pale blue in its sheath, as if knowing its owner yearned to wield it. She forced them to quiet with more effort then she was prepared to use, causing her head to swim momentarily.  
  
She raised her sword again. Ferlias copied her movement then threw an arm up as Hiraikotsu crashed into him from the side. He threw the enormous weapon to the side with a laugh and charged at Kee who stepped in to meet him.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Inuyasha strained against Kee's control furious that she would keep him in such a helpless state. Tetsusaiga called to him urging his emergence with its own power. Even as he fought he knew Kee was losing the battle. That she would soon try to use powers that she had no right to use. That she could not use without destroying herself.  
  
Sango struggled against the dark miko's influence, knowing she could not wield Hiraikotsu properly against Ferlias in this manner. She had to retain enough of herself to surprise the youkai or else she could do no damage to him. She had to get Inuyasha and Miroku awakened before the uncontrolled flares of Kee's power touched them.  
  
Miroku labored against Kee, knowing that if he did not separate himself soon they all would be lost within the dark miko. He had to become himself enough to warn Kee of how dangerous she was becoming to all of them. He had to warn Kee that within her Kagome was strengthening that she would come forward soon.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kagome and Tosh waited in the stillness of the miko energy.  
  
Their time was almost at hand. 


	33. A New Agony

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Kee had been more then prepared to die in this battle against Ferlias. She had always been ready to fight with even her last breath in this body if need asked for it. She was unconcerned that it was not her body that it was not her life to sacrifice for the greater good. These thoughts had never once plagued her. It had also never occurred to her that it might be someone else's life that was sacrificed.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kee was sent stumbling back by a backhand from Ferlias, her eyes clouded with pain. Her body was a nimbus of agony and exhaustion. Between the physical fighting with Ferlias and the spiritual fight with the others to remain a single being within her she was in a state of continuous drain. When her sight cleared she was witness to the most devastating event of her existence.  
  
Sango, not more then three feet behind Ferlias, sent Hiraikotsu straight for the youkai's head. Ferlias did not even turn. With one hand he caught the bone boomerang, then he thrust his enormous sword backwards and caught Sango through her stomach. Sango's eyes went round in surprise, her hands going to the blade.  
  
"NO!" Kee screamed in negation.  
  
Inside of her a deafening uproar went up a call of horror and rage. Kee was swept up in it and felt Kagome's powers rise with this rush of malice and unbearable grief. Kee allowed it to consume her and her eyes hazed with red.  
  
Ferlias pulled the blade from Sango's body with a negligent tug. First Sango went to her knee's her eyes on Kee who felt her dieing thoughts rip into her soul like claws. Her body toppled slowly to the ground without resistance. Still Sango held her eyes, Kee refused to look away.  
  
~ So this is death...where is Kagome? ~  
  
Her consciousness began to slip from the weaving of their minds.  
  
~Hold her! ~ Kee ordered the others with desperation ~ Do not permit her to leave us! ~  
  
Inuyasha and Miroku stepped forward as separate entities to hold Sango as tightly as they could within the confines of Kee's mind.  
  
Kee ripped her eyes away from Sango's body and gazed upon the waiting Ferlias.  
  
"What will you do dark miko? Your powers do not encompass healing her; you can do nothing but hold her soul for the short time it takes her body to die. Why do you care at all? I seem to recall you never stepped forward for one such as her. You were never really the friendly type. Why does it matter to you that you would blend with a hanyou? I can see it in your eyes, the blood of that hanyou is rising with your anger, and you welcome it for its strength. And to what end really? I will kill them...I will kill you without touching you. That little miko you inhabit...she is nothing really...an incomplete soul lost and wandering. Do you imagine that I did not plan for you to come forward? Did you imagine Yensa was not employed to destroy the previous incarnations? Did you really think it was a coincidence that YOU of all the mikos was drawn forth?"  
  
"What are you talking about?" She snapped as she scanned for openings to destroy him, she wanted his blood on her hands she wanted revenge.  
  
Ferlias shook his head clucking his tongue, "You never were one to think ahead Kee. You are so very stubborn, understanding deep plans was never your strong point."  
  
Kee ignored his words as more anger built, Sango was slipping further and further away. Inuyasha and Miroku were unable to hold on for much longer. She closed her eyes momentarily and called on the powers that were not hers to use. Miroku screamed at her to stop but she refused to listen. She would destroy Ferlias one-way or the other there was no alternative.  
  
Even in her anger Kee was aware that Ferlias put his hand into the front of his robe, pulling out a small object, which he looked down upon fondly. Ferlias then turned the object towards Kee who found her self looking into Yensa's mirror.  
  
"It has been a...unique meeting dark miko but I tire of you. Let us bring out this age's bright hope shall we...I have so longed to meet this Kagome...I have so longed to crush her beating heart in my fist" Ferlias snarled.  
  
From the mirror rushed the familiar black/green wash of magic. The combined miko energy rushed forward of its own accord to defend her and Kee opened herself to the fiery pain that came with it.  
  
~No~  
  
Internally Kee flinched from the echoing voice that held authority and unyielding resolve. She tried to move through it but found all of the miko energy inside of her was held at bay by one entity that should never have been that strong alone. She shrieked in angry denial as the being became stronger and somehow surrounded her in a sea of calm understanding.  
  
~There is always an alternative...there is always my soul ~ said Kagome to the enraged Kee.  
  
Kee was swept up into Kagome screaming in defiance.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	34. To Become One

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
A/N: Just so ya'll don't get too confused everything that happens in this chapter is from one second to the next not over a long period time.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kee found herself in a setting of chaotic miko energy. It shifted and churned continuously with black and pink energies that spun endlessly mixing and breaking away only to mix in different areas. Flashes of lightening could be seen from time to time illuminating the frenzied activity.  
  
In front of her floated Kagome and Tosh. Kagome's being seemed infused with power that Kee had not thought the girl could ever possess even being as powerful as she already was. In the environment they existed in Kagome was the axis of all causing the constant movement of the combined strength. Kagome's eyes were filled with the churning power; it flowed around her body draping it so that she appeared to be clothed in it. Kagome's hair billowed around her, giving the impression that she was in the middle of a slow moving current that swept up her figure.  
  
Beside her Tosh was the embodiment of youkai anger. His own blue aura flared around him, his eyes were dark and blood red.  
  
"Why are you interfering?!" Kee snapped.  
  
"Interfering?! How dare you speak to me in this manner!" Tosh roared at her "How dare you endanger the fate of the world by selfish, ineffectual use of Kagome's power! You are about to kill the ones you have stripped power from to fuel your own energy without one thought of their destinies! How dare you interfere with the fabric of life in such a way!"  
  
Stung Kee looked away from Tosh's face, "Ferlias must die".  
  
"And Sango must live Kee as must you live. There is no room for error here; everything depends on what you do within the next moment. Is revenge all that exists for you? Will you sacrifice our friends for your selfish need?" Kagome asked quietly.  
  
Kee snapped her attention back to Kagome, "So it matters now? After all your whining all your complaining it finally matters to you."  
  
Kagome's expression did not change, "I deserved that...you were right to question my loyalty, my dedication. It was you who showed me the truth of it Kee. I have a responsibility to those I care about to be all that I can possibly be. It just took me some time to realize it and I am sorry that you had to carry my burden for so long. I am not sorry that you were given the chance to have people in your life that you could care about and that could care about you. It gave you something to truly fight for, it gave you the strength to endure what you have but you are not alone Kee, you have never been alone."  
  
"And what good has it done me?" Kee asked the hurt of seeing Sango fall to the ground after Ferlias stabbed her coming to the forefront.  
  
"She is not dead yet Kee there is still time. We can save her if we move quickly but it all depends upon you dark miko. Will you choose to fight this alone or will you surrender to me?"  
  
"Surrender what?" Kee asked suspiciously.  
  
Kagome closed her eyes and Kee was caught up into the moment that Kagome allowed her to step forward to save Miroku's life. At the time Kee had been loath to do such a thing, seeing Miroku as an unnecessary distraction for Kagome. She had seen Kagome's willingness to sacrifice her power for the monk's life as a weakness. Now she became aware of what had caused Kagome to do such a thing, what had given her the strength to trust Kee to do as she implored her to do. These people were the core of who Kagome was, what gave her the ability to be what she had become now. They had strengthened the extent of her love, compassion, understanding, and patience, everything that existed within her. They were her heart and without them there was no true purpose. Without them she was Kee.  
  
Kee looked at Kagome with sorrow born of knowing the truth about both of them. Tears ran unabashedly down Kagome's cheeks. Kee found she also had tears wetting her face.  
  
"I never meant..." Kee sobbed.  
  
Kagome nodded understandingly, "I know that Kee...all of us know that. None of us could have known what would happen. That I would become so involved with my own pain. That you would find it within yourself to open to the people around you without even a second thought as to why such people would offer friendship to you. That they would come to mean so much that Sango's injury would push you into almost destroying all of us here. We understand all of it Kee, we have many times becomes so caught up in the rescue of friends that we have put our own lives at risk."  
  
As Kagome spoke her voice became one of many voices, all of them female. With the intermingling of voices came the feeling of being in the presence of an entity that encompassed an eternity of lifetimes, of personalities. Kee's own personality yearned to be a part of this harmonious being, to be entrenched in such perpetuity of intention.  
  
~ Please come with me...Please let me do this thing as well...Please don't fight me ~  
  
This was Kagome speaking just to Kee, a request she had made of Miroku when he was not moved to save his own life. One made of tenderness and grief. It shredded Kee's heart making her agony deeper. She sobbed in her loneliness. She jerked back as she felt Tosh's arms go around her, holding her tightly to him. She cried into his robes, as she had never done when she was living. He stroked her hair soothingly.  
  
~There are very few times in life that you actually have a real, clear choice Kee, now it is your turn to choose ~  
  
Tosh's soul spoke directly to Kee's as Kagome's had and she shuddered in reaction to his comforting supportive soul. Another set of smaller arms went around her waist and Kee could feel Kagome's desire to ease her pain in any way that she could. With shock Kee realized that Kagome truly meant the feeling in every way. The girl would do absolutely anything to stop the agony within her heart if she were capable of doing such a thing.  
  
~ What an amazing person she is inside ~  
  
She felt Kagome's embarrassed amusement and smiled, her grief becoming less.  
  
~ What must I do? ~  
  
"Come with me to save them...be who you are and me as well...surrender your anger" Kagome answered out loud.  
  
Kee nodded her head and felt her self begin to merge with Kagome, without fear.  
  
She was The Sentry of the Soul complete and uncompromising.  
  
"Tosh it is time" She intoned along with the mikos of the past.  
  
Tosh looked down at her, his eyes beginning to glow with sparks of his aura within the blood red.  
  
"Yes Miko it is time." He agreed ominously. 


	35. Kagome's Return

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
~ Inuyasha ~  
  
He was losing her. Sango was dieing and no matter how tightly he held to her soul she was slipping away. When he had learned of Kikyo's death it had cut him like a knife but it had been momentary, she had already been dead for 50 years. He had not seen it, had not felt her move away from him into the darkness. Now with Sango he felt it and there was no end to his torment. No way for him to comfort himself or Miroku who was just as crazed as he in their world made of Kee's will. In a place where no time existed at this instant they felt the draw of time and its horrors. He raged against the unfairness of it, fighting for Sango just as fiercely as she fought for herself. All three of them were losing the battle.  
  
~ She is coming ~  
  
The thought originated with Miroku and spread through Inuyasha like wildfire. Something he had not paid attention to now demand his attention that was torn between Sango's continued existence and this new entity that was rushing forward to fill this void that they occupied alone in their struggle. Not even Kee was apparent anymore where before she surrounded them and held them in thrall. This new person swept over them, sending exhilaration and new strength into his soul. The relief that flooded him was almost overwhelming.  
  
~ Kagome? ~  
  
The answering sense of her, of Kagome, would have made him weep with joy if he had not become so desperate.  
  
~ Please ~ he and Miroku cried out to her, not even understanding what they wanted to ask but knowing she was the only one to turn to now.  
  
~ Tosh ~ came Kagome's voice, full of authority and sorrow.  
  
~ Yes Miko ~ answered a new voice, a male voice full of concern and obedience.  
  
Inuyasha felt the weight of Sango's soul lifted from him and cried out again this time in anger, just as Miroku did the same.  
  
~Be still Inuyasha and Miroku I will not harm her. ~ The new being, Tosh, explained compassionately to them his voice patient and understanding.  
  
Begrudgingly they released their burden, afraid that letting go of her would cause Sango's parting. They felt Tosh give Sango over to Kagome and relaxed slightly. Tosh then turned to them. As the man's attention fell on Inuyasha he felt something strange stir inside him. It was an odd sense of familiarity, as if he knew this Tosh or had known him before in some way.  
  
~ No need to worry little one...Kagome has come. I am but a mere helper in this but you two cannot remain here. ~ Tosh said to them.  
  
~ What do you mean? ~ Inuyasha asked suspiciously.  
  
~ Inuyasha...~ Miroku hissed at him.  
  
Inuyasha ignored the monk ~ who are you? Where do I know you from? ~  
  
Tosh chuckled indulgently ~ you always were so full of questions Inu...so full of life. But now is not the time, we must hurry. ~  
  
With that Inuyasha was caught up in a ripping force that threw him firmly back into his singular self with a painful jolt.  
  


* * *

  
Miroku shook his head in a vain attempt to clear it. His mind swam with too much information and he was hard pressed to find any type of order to it. He slowly pushed himself up on his arms, having found himself flat on his back after the return to his body. Again he shook his head, this time meeting with more success and raised it, only to find himself frozen with shock.  
  
Directly ahead of him the familiar black/green magic of Yensa's mirror rushed over the figure of Kee who had thrown her arms up in an act of protection. Ferlias was laughing a deep mocking laugh that made Miroku instantly ill. Before he could do more then utter an inarticulate denial the magic dispersed. The sight that met his eyes was more then his muddled mind could sort out, though a tiny blossom of hope came to his heart.  
  
In front of him stood a female figure draped in what seemed to be a gown made entirely from black and pink miko energies. Her hair now loosened from Kee's preferred bun swept around the figure reminding Miroku of the way plants moved underwater. She no longer held a sword in her hand and his heart seized as he took in her nearness to Ferlias.  
  
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Inuyasha make a repeat of his own previous action. The hanyou then rose, grunting in exertion. Miroku followed suit only just becoming aware of a myriad of small aches around his body. He saw Inuyasha focus on the female figure and narrow his amber eyes.  
  
"My my I am impressed, I had not thought you strong enough to combine all those personalities. Tell me, what is your secret little miko?" Ferlias sneered at the new person.  
  
"Kagome?" Inuyasha whispered uncertainty coloring his voice.  
  
She did not answer or even turn to them, her entire focus on what lay beyond Ferlias but one of her hands came up slightly, her index finger extending a little and Miroku felt tears mist his eyes.  
  
"Its her Inuyasha its really her! Its Kagome!" He exclaimed gleefully.  
  
In his mind that hand came up again, the index finger rising in a motion well known to him.  
  
~ Wait, I have something to do first ~ 


	36. Hiraikotsu Unleashed

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters.  
  
A/N: Hopefully I have finally corrected all of the problems with the story. Thanks for all the support I really do appreciate it. dragonfly- rising  
  


* * *

  
Kagome breathed deeply calming herself and the others. Being in control of her body again brought such a sense of exhilaration that she was sorely tempted just to stand there experiencing the subtle play of the air on her skin, smelling the scents brought by the light breeze.  
  
"My my I am impressed, I had not thought you strong enough to combine all those personalities. Tell me, what is your secret little miko?"  
  
The scorn in his voice was unmistakable. Kagome was about to respond when her eyes settled on Sango's crumpled body. The ground surrounding her was soaked with her blood and Kagome's anger soared to new heights. With half of her attention she heard Inuyasha whisper her name and she resisted the urge to turn to him for comfort. The way his voice had shaken when he spoke gave her all the strength she needed to complete her task. Within that one word he had conveyed a need for her so strong that had she been able she would have shuddered with its complexity.  
  
~ Tosh they are your charges...keep them safe. ~ Both she and Kee ordered.  
  
~ As you wish. ~ Tosh responded.  
  
Kagome could sense the jewel shards against her skin, how they beat in time with her heart and wondered momentarily about the reaction. Normally the shards were more docile when she was in contact with them, reacting strongly only when being used by a youkai. Now she could feel their power coursing into her, fueling her already immense energies.  
  
~ I am with you ~ came a distinct female voice, separate from the others.  
  
Kagome herself had never heard the voice before she immediately recognized it and understood the implications that it entailed. The name that belonged to that voice came instantly to her from one of the other miko entities inside her that had known the owner. She felt humbled by the honor that had been bestowed upon all of them that SHE of all the mikos would join in this battle while her's still raged within the shattered Shikon Jewel. Her confidence intensified becoming unbreakable. She knew without a doubt she would be victorious in this.  
  
She took a step forward, towards Sango, whose life force was still fading even with all of their combined wills fixed firmly on it. Ferlias stepped into her line of sight, attempting to block her. Now she did raise her eyes to the youkai lord and felt satisfaction that his face held such uncertainty in it.  
  
"Move Ferlias. I will not tell you again" she ordered her voice mixed with Kee's.  
  
"And if I will not?" He countered, the arrogant smirk climbing to his lips.  
  
"Then you will find out how very little it will take for me to deal with you. I have more pressing concerns then you at the moment." Her voice echoed as all the voices inside of her mingled into her's.  
  
Ferlias's eyes flashed with insulted anger. Kagome, her mind only on Sango raised her hand, pooling her energy to awaken a spirit that had yet to come into its own full power.  
  
"Hiraikotsu...your mistress needs you." Kagome intoned as her force enveloped the bone boomerang.  
  
Hidden deep inside the weapon a small portion of the youkai it had belonged to still was in existence. It slumbered most of the time with no self- awareness only awakening when Sango called it to battle, glorifying in the combat. In this moment it responded to Kagome's call with something born of malice and insulted pride. It had always protected Sango always answered her call and fought as it had been always meant to fight, with deadly accuracy and power. Now its wielder was injured and it had failed perhaps to never be used again in the glorious battling that had become its one and only purpose.  
  
Hiraikotsu rose steadily from the place it had been discarded earlier by Ferlias and moved to Kagome's side beginning to spin slowly. Kagome raised her other hand calling forth a jewel shard. One appeared floating above her open palm, its glow so bright it almost hurt Kagome's eyes to look upon it. She compelled it into Hiraikotsu and it disappeared. The aura around the weapon changed to the same bright silver as the jewel shard. Hiraikotsu's spinning became more rapid as the jewel shard increased its power.  
  
"Now go...protect Sango," She ordered it.  
  
Without hesitation Hiraikotsu raced toward an ill prepared Ferlias who roared as it slammed into him, knocking him to the side. Ferlias stumbled away as again and again of its own volition the boomerang attacked him. Kagome easily sensed Hiraikotsu's outrage over the treatment of Sango and actually felt sorry for Ferlias having to contend with such a being as the one that inhibited the weapon.  
  
When Ferlias was finally forced away from Sango's prone figure Kagome rushed over to kneel beside her. Tears coming immediately to her eyes as she saw the damage Ferlias had done to her. Only the knowledge of the other mikos kept her from panicking. Kagome did her best to not look directly at the gaping wound in Sango's body, tried not to imagine the pain her friend was in so that she could do what she needed to do.  
  
Kagome closed her eyes and put her hands out over Sango. With all of her will she gathered her power and unleashed it praying she was not too late. 


	37. Ferlias

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters.  
  
A/N: I thought Ferlias was lacking in some evil mojo so this particular chapter will be his POV just to flesh him out a bit. Enjoy. dragonfly- rising  
  


* * *

  
Ferlias snarled in frustration as the damned youkai exterminator's weapon slammed into his side for the fourth time in a row. He was having difficulties with bringing his sword to bear against the fast moving weapon and this incensed him even more. He was Ferlias! He was a higher being born of a youkai to this plane of existence. A god amongst these lesser beings and NO thing such as this weapon should have dared interfere with his intentions.  
  
~ That damn miko! She is to blame! ~ He thought in indignation.  
  
He barely caught a glimpse of the girl who was now surrounding the dieing youkai exterminator with her own power. He could not believe that she was wasting her power on that human instead of fighting him, trying to stop his conquest of this world. She had acted as if he were a bothersome child to be ignored until he was ready to behave. This filled him with even more animosity toward the miko.  
  
He had fought so many of her kind, each time slaying the one that dared to oppose him before he was sealed away once more, hoping a time would come that the miko of an era would be too weak to stop him. He had waited patiently during the period of that loathsome miko that had created the Shikon Jewel from her very soul. Even encased in such a thing she had been too powerful for him to take on. And he had continued to pass the time until exactly what he had been waiting for happened. This wonderful era in which the original miko was slain before her time and another less powerful miko emerged. He had been so certain she had no chance.  
  
He threw an arm up barely in time as the boomerang went for his head again.  
  
He just could not comprehend what had gone so wrong. Yensa had used the mirror he had given her effectively against the girl, drawing out the dark miko who had no chance against him at all. He had fed into her all the dark emotions that had so consumed her until she was consequently filled with them to the point that they would provide him with the strength to come back. Even the dark miko had provided him the power unknowingly. Granted he had not twisted the companions of the miko due to seeing them as nothing more then minor annoyances but he had been certain it would not matter in the end. He had even counted on the other mikos attempting to come to the girl's aid, after all it was his own magics that had opened the door for Kee to emerge, such a door could not be closed again easily. But he had expected the girl to collapse under such a strain. It had all been so carefully planned. He would reemerge, kill the dark miko, and seal all of those abhorrent mikos into the void as had been done to him so many times.  
  
He realized now that he had truly underestimated the girl and her strength. He had been arrogant and was paying the price for it by being attacked and contained by a weapon that seemed to have a life force of its own suddenly. She had done that. She had awakened the youkai soul within the bone weapon; he had watched her do so in awe of such ability. That she could do that simply pointed out how grossly he had misjudged her. Still he was not swayed from his course.  
  
He blocked the weapon with his sword sending it flying off to the side and in an instant he grasped something that had never occurred to him.  
  
It was her friends that fueled the tiny miko's power. Not the many inside of her. Not the one that was caged in the jewel fragments. Of all of the things Ferlias had discounted his one most obvious mistake had been not killing the friends. The miko had not reemerged broken and without knowledge, and granted he had already given the fatal blow but now he was certain that if she had been forced to see their demise before she had recovered she would have been easily killed. Perhaps even now, if he killed them forcing her to use her powers on them as well she would be drained, he would still have the chance for vengeance, and his plan could come to fruition.  
  
With this new plot in mind he settled into defending against the living weapon and looked for his opportunity to kill the hanyou and monk who stood several feet away watching him with eyes that conveyed that they yearned to fight him.  
  
~ Be patient little ones...I have plans for you. ~ He thought at them, smiling as he contemplated the smell of their blood in the air.  
  
A strong block followed by a shove that forced a grunt from him sent the weapon flying far enough away for him to turn and approach the two stunned men with a speed born of his youkai strength. He raised his sword high, thinking to kill both in one stroke, his mouth watering in anticipation.  
  
The hanyou's hand began moving toward his blade that glowed in its sheath. The monk made as if to remove a set of prayer beads from his right hand. None of this worried Ferlias as he moved in for the kill. What caused him to stop was a command that came from the very air itself.  
  
"Stop Ferlias, I will not allow you to harm them" said a familiar voice full of authority and rancor.  
  
Ferlias forced himself to stop as something no someone formed in front of the shocked men. He felt his brow furrow in deep unshakable anger.  
  
"You!"  
  
The youkai that stood there simply looked at him, his expression one of mild annoyance. Ferlias cursed the higher beings, this one in particular over and over again in his mind. HE had been involved in Ferlias's first excursion into the void. HE was the one being of all the higher beings who would dare interfere with the destinies of those that inhabited this plane of existence.  
  
Ferlias growled deep in his throat beyond fury, beyond frustration.  
  
"Don't growl at me youkai unless you are prepared to defend yourself." Tosh admonished sternly.  
  
"Come then old man...let us see if you are still worthy of your title" Ferlias hissed.  
  
Tosh half smiled at him, and then nodded his head over Ferlias's shoulder, "I believe you are otherwise engaged."  
  
Ferlias turned with a snap, just in time to catch the bone boomerang in his stomach. 


	38. Tosh and Inuyasha

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Inuyasha stared in open surprise as Ferlias flew beyond them from the impact with Sango's weapon. He was having a difficult time grasping all that had happened within the last few moments. Somehow Kagome had done something to the bone boomerang making it attack Ferlias of its own volition. Ferlias had obviously decided to kill him and Miroku and in the last moment this strange man had appeared blocking the youkai lord from carrying out his plan. The strange man, with a waist length snow-white beard gazed after the youkai lord's flight with a content expression. When this man turned to Inuyasha and locked eyes with him it was all the hanyou could do not to look away. In side the man's blood red eyes swam sparks of a blue energy.  
  
"You are a youkai?" Inuyasha began confused.  
  
"Yes in another lifetime I was such a creature." The man admitted genially.  
  
"You were the one inside of Kagome...the one that took us out." Miroku affirmed.  
  
He nodded slowly his eyes straying to watch Hiraikotsu bludgeon at Ferlias. Inuyasha felt compelled to look as well, finding it in himself to smile in satisfaction as the weapon cracked Ferlias across the face.  
  
~ Come then old man...let us see if you are still worthy of your title. ~  
  
Ferlias had said that to this youkai, Tosh his mind supplied almost as an afterthought, as a type of challenge. As far as Inuyasha knew there were not true titles for youkai save for the Lords...  
  
Inuyasha snapped his attention back to Tosh his eyes narrowing in suspicion. No there were no other titles for youkai...except for those that held dominion over certain lands such as the Lord of the Southern Lands.  
  
~ Or the Western Lands ~ his mind supplied readily.  
  
He snorted contemptuously. There was no way this creature could aspire to such a title. His father had held that title at one time and this entity could never surpass him. Tosh's attention wandered back to him and Inuyasha looked angrily away. He didn't understand why he felt such animosity towards Tosh suddenly. It wasn't as if the old youkai had lain claim to the title and yet Inuyasha felt somehow his pride had been injured by the man's presence.  
  
"I have always considered a proud man to be too much trouble. I much prefer the idealistic or even the foolish to a proud one. Too much pride can keep a person from truly living...don't you agree young man?" Tosh asked him conversationally.  
  
Inuyasha felt the growl before he realized it was coming and actually blushed deeply for the reaction. Tosh's response was to chuckle tolerantly.  
  
"You are still a pup Inuyasha do not try to grow up so quickly...age comes without you even trying, as do the lessons one must learn. You should try to relax a little, not everything is so serious that you cannot take time out to enjoy yourself." Tosh explained.  
  
Inuyasha looked at him, " Why are you talking to me like that?"  
  
Tosh laughed outright as Hiraikotsu slammed into Ferlias yet again.  
  
"Excuse me." Tosh said apologetically getting his amusement somewhat under control.  
  
"Well?" Inuyasha prompted annoyed.  
  
"Well what?" Tosh asked distractedly.  
  
Inuyasha sighed dramatically, "Why are you speaking to me like you are?"  
  
"As if you are a rational being with tendencies toward great insights?" Tosh asked, "I apologize, I did not realize you took insult to that".  
  
Inuyasha growled again, "You are impossible".  
  
"I understand you are as well...all I can say is that we both come by it honestly."  
  
Inuyasha heard Miroku unsuccessfully attempt to stifle a laugh, which made its way to an exclamation of pain when Inuyasha smacked the monk in the back of the head. When Inuyasha turned back to Tosh he noted that the youkai's attention had moved over to Kagome kneeling beside Sango. Feeling guilt for the momentary lapse in his own attention he took in the sight of both of his friends one struggling to live the other struggling to save the others life. He had not known he was so capable of the pool of grief inside of him self. Yet again he had thought his experiences with Kikyo had been the extent of one of his emotions and once again he was proven utterly wrong. He ached to race over to both of the women and help in any way he could but he knew he was useless to them at the moment. For now he added his own prayers to those he heard Miroku whispering, hoping it would tip the scales in Sango's favor.  
  
"She will not fail. There is no room inside of her for failure to save her friend. There is only one choice in the matter and it is Sango's choice." Tosh commented grimly.  
  
"Do you always babble so incoherently?" Inuyasha snapped.  
  
"Do you always speak before you know what it is you speak of?" Tosh returned lightly.  
  
For the third time Inuyasha growled and this time Tosh responded. A fist cracked across Inuyasha's cheek spreading a fiery pain the hanyou was unaccustomed to. His hand went to the site; his eyes round with astonishment as he realized what had happened. Astonishment turned to incredulous anger and he grabbed Tetsusaiga's hilt ready to slay the old man. And found he could not draw the sword. He tugged futile at it.  
  
"Would you draw on me Inuyasha?" Tosh asked curious.  
  
"I sure as hell would!" Inuyasha declared still fighting with the sword that refused to budge.  
  
"As I see it you can either continue that ridiculous attempt or you can learn to control yourself. I may be dead but I'll be damned if I allow a pup such as you to disrespect me." Tosh advised him.  
  
The calmness in Tosh's voice grated on Inuyasha's nerves but he had to conclude that Tosh was right to have struck him. He had been disrespectful on purpose. He had been provoking the old man. He slowly stopped tugging on Tetsusaiga and met Tosh's eyes squarely.  
  
"I apologize I should not have acted that way." It felt unnatural for him to say such a thing, but as he looked at Tosh he found it also felt natural to address the old man in this manner.  
  
These conflicting ideas made his head ache. He had never been one for complexities.  
  
Tosh chuckled, " You will do fine my boy, I see good things ahead for you if you keep walking the path you are on right now."  
  
Inuyasha smiled, a curious feeling building inside of him at the proud tone in Tosh's voice. Somehow he felt surer of himself then he ever had. He looked away slightly embarrassed by the affectionate feeling he was having towards Tosh at the moment. If he had kept his eyes on the old youkai he would have seen that the affection was returned since it was apparent on Tosh's face for the entire world to see.  
  
Miroku saw how Tosh looked at Inuyasha, recalling how his own father had gazed down at him when he was still alive and filed it away for future examination. 


	39. The Healers Come Forth

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
~ Kagome and Sango ~  
  
Once Kagome had committed herself and her powers to Sango she found that the struggle for life over death was not easily won.  
  
As soon as she opened herself she became all too aware of Sango's agony. It flooded her senses and she was assaulted by the echoing scream of unending torment of Sango. It scraped and tore at her soul, as she resolutely pressed onward. The mikos inside of her that had been blessed with the ability to truly heal profound injures supported her and led her into the pain as she was given the knowledge she needed to heal her friend. They cautioned her not to release Sango from the torment as it was the girl's grasp to life and if terminated would cause her soul to escape the body from shock.  
  
~ Pain must be endured ~ supplied a miko who had been named Kiala from centuries before ~ you cannot allow your own impatience to interrupt the flow of life in this manner. There is no chance for her survival if you separate her from such a constant of life. She had suffered worse...she will so now. ~  
  
~ Ease it but do not separate her from it. ~ Instructed another, this one Kiko ~ Bring her to you do not allow her to ignore your compulsions. She must be a part of the healing process. ~  
  
Kagome nodded mentally and concentrated on attaining Sango's attention.  
  
~ Sango listen to me! ~ She urged her friend.  
  
The shrieks continued without pause. Kagome wished that she had ears to cover in this place; it was all she could do to bear the sound of her friend's pain.  
  
~ Sango please you have to listen! ~ She implored.  
  
~ Make her listen! ~ Kiala ordered impatiently.  
  
~ Make her hear you Kagome...her time grows shorter. ~ Kiko added.  
  
~ SANGO YOU ANSWER ME OR I SWEAR I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! ANSWER ME NOW! ~ Kagome screamed loudly into the abyss of Sango's suffering.  
  
When the response was not immediate Kagome felt her heart squeeze for the first time since her confidence had hardened. If Sango did not cooperate she would lose her and all of this would have been for nothing.  
  
~ Sango please please answer me please don't give in you are stronger then this stronger then me you can't die you can't give in. Kohaku needs you. ~ Kagome sobbed.  
  
In compare when Sango stopped screaming the silence in this place was deafening.  
  
~ kagome? ~ Came Sango's voice hesitantly, tight with pain and full of exhaustion.  
  
Kagome laughed through her tears in relief ~ Yes Sango its me. ~  
  
The sense of Sango became stronger and Kagome reached out to her friend feeling her consciousness connect with the youkai exterminator's. Where before there had only been the vague impression of immense pain now Kagome felt her friend stream into her mind. Sango clung tightly to her, giving her all that Sango had felt the entirety of her absence. A small amount of guilt came to her but she pushed it aside.  
  
~ You must hurry Kagome. ~ Kiala prompted.  
  
Kagome agreed and pulled slightly back from the intensity of being with Sango in this manner. She focused her energies to the slow and deliberate repair of Sango's body. Taking cues from Kiala and Kiko she separated Sango enough from the pain so that the girl did not overwhelm her as new agony swept through her. This time Sango did not scream only withdrew understanding that Kagome did not hurt her intentionally. It took an eternity to weave the damage back together and encourage the blood to flow through the newly attached veins and muscles. Kagome's own knowledge of the body and its functions helped make the process faster.  
  
When she finished, Kagome felt depleted. It had required more power then Kagome had thought it would, and would take yet more to reconnect the soul she and the mikos held and the consciousness of Sango. This she did with just as slow deliberate care, according to the others this was precisely when those injured tended to die, due to the trauma they had been put through during the healing process.  
  
Sango's soul slid back into her body with a heavy sigh. Kagome understood it was the return of the trials of her life that caused this reaction. She herself had felt a momentary yearning to return to her sanctuary but the pull towards life had been stronger for her as she knew it was for Sango.  
  
~ Are we done? ~ Kagome asked hopefully, tiered.  
  
~ With her yes we are done...now we go to face Ferlias. ~ Kiala answered.  
  
~ Kagome? ~ Sango ventured.  
  
~ Yes? ~  
  
~ Kee was not doing well against him... ~ Sango began, fear obvious in her voice.  
  
~ I did not have the support of these others Sango. ~ Kee answered of her own accord.  
  
~ It is different now. ~ Agreed Kagome.  
  
~ But is it enough of a difference? ~ Sango asked worriedly.  
  
~ It must be youkai slayer...there is no other who can do this ~ answered the grave voice of Midoriko.  
  
Kagome agreed silently and opened herself to the warrior mikos who rushed forward in response to her call. As their personalities became the stronger inside her Kagome bade a wordless farewell to her friend before completing her return to her body. When Sango's personality was gone Kagome used a small amount of power to move Sango's body to where the others stood.  
  
~ Be brave miko you are the one who will triumph ~ Midoriko confided.  
  
~ I will die trying ~ Kagome affirmed feeling a surge of power course through her ~ There is no alternative. ~ 


	40. The Final Battle Begins

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Miroku was so focused on the forms of the two girls that he yelped as Kagome's aura flared and Sango disappeared. Tosh reached up into the air, confusing him. When Sango appeared suddenly, falling the short distance to Tosh's waiting arms Miroku's heart lurched painfully. He hurriedly moved over to kneel beside Sango as Tosh laid her gently on the ground. Miroku eyes scanned her body. All that was left of the grievous injury was the slash in Sango's clothing and the blood that seemed to cover most of her. Dirt lay trapped in the caked blood on her face and he wiped it away tenderly with an edge of his robe, supporting her head as he did so.  
  
"Is she..." Inuyasha began hopefully.  
  
Miroku blinked back tears rapidly, "Yes she's alive. Kagome did it, she saved her."  
  
He glanced over to find that Kagome had stood finally and was now facing them, a small smile on her face. Miroku bowed his head to her, she returned the gesture then turned to Ferlias.  
  
"Hiraikotsu...come that is enough" Kagome's multiplied voice ordered the still rampaging weapon.  
  
For a moment it looked as if the boomerang would ignore her, then it stopped its current attack on Ferlias and returned to Kagome's side. Kagome held out her hand and slowly the jewel shard she had imbedded inside the weapon reappeared above her palm.  
  
"Thank you Hiraikotsu you have served her well, return to her side and sleep" Kagome commanded.  
  
The boomerang, slowly loosing the pink aura floated to them and settled on the ground near Sango's feet without a sound. Miroku took a moment to look at the weapon untrustingly before returning his attention to Kagome.  
  
Ferlias had recovered quickly and was now standing a few yards from Kagome.  
  
"Did you think that toy could do me any real harm?" He snarled at her.  
  
"My but aren't you the stupid one. It was a distraction you mindless twit nothing more nothing less. As I said I had more important things to do." Kagome countered smugly.  
  
Miroku exchanged horrified glances with Inuyasha.  
  
"What is she doing?!" Inuyasha hissed.  
  
"I have no idea", Miroku answered.  
  
"She's going to get herself killed if she doesn't shut up," Inuyasha predicted angrily.  
  
"Never stopped you before." Miroku muttered.  
  
He expected the slap to the head from the hanyou, he had not tried to hide what he said. Sango shifted and he looked down into a pair of the most beautiful eyes he had ever encountered. He smiled hugely; despite the grim event unfolding not far away he could not deny his heart overflowed with her awakening.  
  
"Kagome? Where..." Sango began in a whisper.  
  
"She is facing Ferlias." Miroku informed her then supported her as she shoved herself into an upright position weakly.  
  
As both of them watched Kagome's powers fluxed more rapidly around her.  
  
~ Please let her win ~ He prayed.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Kagome knew she was goading Ferlias into an attack but she couldn't quiet stop the nervous flutter of her heart.  
  
~ I don't have a weapon you guys ~ she hissed at the other mikos.  
  
~ You are a weapon ~ Kee informed her impatiently.  
  
~ Yeah well I am not looking forward to having that huge knife slice through me ~ she snapped.  
  
~ I thought you were all confident and steel Kagome, don't you dare start having doubts now ~ Kee returned.  
  
Kagome took in Ferlias's position and knew he was about to rush her. Her heart began beating faster. As Ferlias began his charge towards her something strange happened. His movements became slowed.  
  
~ What? ~  
  
~ Trust us ~ the warrior mikos intoned  
  
She braced herself, feeling the energy flow inside and around her. Without thinking she put out a hand and curled it as if she were holding the hilt of a sword. The energy came together above her curled hand in an instant, answering her need by forming a wicked blade that was serrated along the length of the bottom edge. Of their own will the jewel fragments she carried appeared along the hilt as if the blade were made for them. Kagome gasped involuntarily as more power coursed into her body sending shocks of pain/pleasure that she immersed herself in.  
  
She shifted her position setting her feet firmly and raising the blade to meet Ferlias's as he swung down at her from above. The ring of metal was piercing. She strained in opposition to him as he put his weight against their crossed blades.  
  
"You will lose." Ferlias hissed in her face.  
  
"Get a clue" Kagome fired back as she shifted then rolled to the side.  
  
Ferlias stumbled two steps before turning again to her and letting loose a volley of attacks that pushed her back as she defended against them. She kept her breath even and controlled allowing Ferlias to think he had the upper hand. Each step she took back was one she intended to regain as soon as Ferlias allowed her the opportunity. She knew he would, frustration was not a strong point for the youkai lord. By the look on his face he was beyond frustrated.  
  
During the last swipe of his oversized blade Kagome found her opportunity. With little effort she grabbed his large wrist and using it as leverage she launched herself, feet first at his chin. When she felt the heel of her boots connect with the intended target she used her momentum to push off of Ferlias's arm and flip back out of his reach. When she settled to the ground she brought her weapon up, ready for the next round. She was secretly amazed to find herself back from Ferlias a few feet. Satisfaction made her smile as she watched Ferlias shake his head trying to clear it. She had a feeling nothing would go right for Ferlias ever again.  
  
"As you were saying?" She asked mockingly.  
  
Ferlias roared in fury and charged her again. Kagome rose to meet him her blood running hot with excitement. 


	41. Kagome's Skill

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
~ Take it slow ~  
  
Kagome blocked a back swing of Ferlias's blade, and then thrust her own directly at his face. He flinched barely avoiding the tip that was heading for his eye. Kagome pressed forward bringing her up to slash him across the chest. She shifted to the right and threw her elbow into his unguarded side. A small glow of her miko energy at the point of impact told her she had to put more of her power into each contact. Ferlias stumbled, a hand going to the site that she had injured his face drawn with pain.  
  
~ Keep yourself focused ~  
  
Ferlias stepped up, his sword already moving in for a slash across her chest. She twisted to the left, her sword slipping up and off of his blade, deflecting it neatly. She turned into him, her free hand sought and found his stomach, and the intense force that flowed through the contact thrust Ferlias backwards. She followed through with the movement ending up facing him her eyes locked on him waiting for his next move.  
  
~ Do not become overconfident ~  
  
Ferlias paused only long enough to catch his breath then rushed her. She braced herself. He feinted to the left and she thinking too far ahead followed to block, as she did he spun and sent his fist into her cheek knocking her to the ground in an instant. Before she could recover he was on top of her, his clawed hand clenched around her throat, which began to burn instantly from lack of oxygen. His claws were digging into the back of her neck and she could feel her blood as it dripped down his claws to fall to the ground. His breath was hot and putrid as he moved slightly forward and inhaled deeply a sound of revolting pleasure coming from deep in his chest.  
  
"What an intoxicating scent. I will drink your blood miko; this will be the most satisfying death I have ever caused. I owe you...oh how I owe you. For all those decades I spent in the emptiness of the void waiting for your death, dreaming of it until all I could smell was the scent of your blood and all I could think of was the feel of your death by my hands. I have waited an eternity in darkness for these precious moment of your pain." He whispered to her, his eyes wild.  
  
She stared angrily up into his triumphant face, dropped her sword, and wrapped her fingers around his wrist. Her hands blazed with her power and the smell of burning flesh filled her nose. With a strangled cry he released her. She grabbed her sword and took the opportunity to use her power to propel her self through his legs, rolling as she did so. She quickly pushed herself up and in an instant she moved forward, ripping the serrated edge deeply across his back. Blood instantly soaked the back of his robe around the edge of the serious wound but Ferlias only turned to her, not reacting to what should have been a painful experience. She backed up a few steps, confused.  
  
"You will have to do better then that" Ferlias chuckled darkly.  
  
"Trust me...I am only just beginning to do damage to you Ferlias. I owe YOU." She hissed back at him.  
  
He laughed.  
  
~ Do not allow yourself to be drawn into his game ~  
  
Kagome circled to the right and Ferlias followed suit the opposite way. She could feel her blood running down her back from the wounds on her neck, she hadn't thought the injury serious enough to cause such bleeding but she ignored it in favor of keeping herself alive as Ferlias jumped at her, producing an additional blade in his free hand, one only slightly smaller then his giant curved blade. With both he struck at her, she parried with her weapon, blocking both attacks. Ferlias then changed tactics and swung his larger sword downward at her as the other came at her from the right. She raised her sword to block the one coming down and put out her other hand, which flamed a bright white. The extra blade skated along the light as if blocked by a shield, and then she spun under his arm setting him off balance. As he bent over she placed her blazing hand over the wound she had caused earlier and grit her teeth against the pain caused by and intense pulse of energies that flowed eagerly as she made contact with his blood. Ferlias howled in agony and moved from her in a flash. When he turned back to her his face was a mask of unadulterated wrath.  
  
~ Gain the upper hand slowly...keep him off balance ~  
  
Ferlias's breath was heavy with the agony she had just inflicted.  
  
~ That is how we will win. His body itself is strong but his inner being is not impervious to our power. Use this to our advantage ~  
  
Kagome scanned over Ferlias's body, her mind active with ways to cause him more damage. His disadvantage was that he was so large in this form and her petite size made it difficult for him to react fast enough. He was clumsy in his fury and left opening for her to slip under his defenses. As she looked at him his expression grew calmer and a very disconcerting smile crossed his face. She eyed him warily.  
  
"You love the half breed don't you little miko" Ferlias asked his voice smooth and quiet.  
  
She blinked at him in surprise, "What?"  
  
He nodded as if something had just occurred to him, "Yes you do...disgusting as it is. Would it surprise you to know that you have ALWAYS loved him?" 


	42. Ferlias's Secret, Kagome's Resolve

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters.  
  
Inuyasha cringed as Ferlias caught Kagome with a backhand sending her spinning to the ground. His heart lurched into his throat when Ferlias jumped on top of her and wrapped a huge fist around her small throat. Her reaction momentarily made his mind flash back to the day Kikyo had been brought back from the dead and he had held her wrist trying to save her from falling from the cliff. It had hurt so much for her miko energy to burn into his skin and at the time he could do nothing but release her in the end though he had tried to vainly fight the pain. The ache that came with the memory came and went  
  
Inuyasha closed his eyes in frustration and resignation before forcing them open again concentrating on what was happening in front of him. He could hardly stand watching Kagome fight. It seemed wrong for him to be the one to watch as she exchanged blows with a youkai. This was not how it was suppose to be. He was the protector not her. He was the one who was supposed to be hacking away at an enemy, snapping insults as he did so. Each time she opened her mouth his heart seized and he mentally begged her to shut up, to not antagonize the dangerous youkai to new heights of menace. Of course she didn't respond to his mental pleas, only made the insults she threw at Ferlias more offensive. He would have happily strangled her for scaring him so much...if he had that in him to do.  
  
And yet, even as she frightened him he could not help but feel pride in how she was handling herself. How easy it seemed for her to slip away from Ferlias's fierce attacks. How her insults struck at the youkai lord making him more and more unbalanced. How she met each swing with a confidence he had never seen before in her.  
  
He idly wondered if she felt such conflicting emotions while watching him fight, if it bothered her as much as it bothered him. It had never entered his mind that SHE might have felt the almost overwhelming need to strangle HIM for being so reckless during a battle. After a moment of deliberation, he decided she did have such thoughts. Considering how it had always frustrated him that she appeared to "sit" him more often after a battle then at any other time.  
  
He scowled disliking his new bend towards introspection he much preferred his normal lack of insight. All this thinking could not be good for him. He was quite sure in some way it was either Kagome or Kee's fault, it had to be, before all this had happened he wouldn't have thought twice about the why's of the world. In his mind things either were or they weren't, there was no in-between.  
  
He didn't notice that Tosh was looking at him with amusement.  
  
~ The pup just might have half a chance. ~ Tosh thought to himself then turned his attention back towards the fight, his amusement quickly changing to concern ~ She had better end this fight soon or she will meld with those warrior mikos too much. I had hoped they had figured out a way to end all of this forever but it should not be taking this long. ~  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by a pause in the battle. Kagome eyed the youkai lord warily. From his vantage point Tosh could see that Ferlias had a grin on his face. This increased his worry.  
  
~ What is he doing? ~  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kagome watched Ferlias with a deep sense of apprehension. The fight was going exactly as all of them wanted it to. Granted Ferlias had caused damage to her, but not enough to seriously put her in danger, simple flesh wounds that was all. But when she had begun pressing the fight to end it Ferlias had backed off, keeping distance between them. The sneer on his face was what was bothering her. It was as if he knew something. A secret so horrible that it might give him an advantage over her, something devastating.  
  
"You love that half breed don't you miko?" Ferlias asked scornfully.  
  
"What?" She asked, confused by this new topic.  
  
"Yes you do...would it surprise you to know you have ALWAYS loved him?" The scorn in his voice was unmistakable.  
  
~ What? ~  
  
~ Do not let your guard down, remember he is treacherous and will say anything to swing this battle his way. ~ Midoriko warned.  
  
Kagome did her best not to react outwardly but inside her stomach had dropped. She glanced at Inuyasha, whom she could see just beyond Ferlias. It did not give her solace that his eyes met hers unflinchingly, nor did it stop the strange flutter that had risen within the ranks of the mikos that dwelled in her body.  
  
"Even if you are not well versed in the particulars of fate I know the others inside you are, did they not tell you that our souls have fought through out eternity? Did they leave you in the dark about how this is a circle of meetings? Did you not think to question if your soul was the only one to have witnessed this battle before? Did it never occur to you that HE was meant to be here as well, that HE has always been here when we meet?" Ferlias asked in a low, seductive voice.  
  
~ What is he talking about? ~ She asked those inside of her.  
  
None answered, she could feel their confusion as their combined minds tried to understand what Ferlias was attempting to say. She caught that Midoriko was the closest to understanding and encouraged the older miko to pry meaning out of the words. Insight dawned on her in sudden painful relief.  
  
~ The hanyou...he has been linked to you from the beginning Kagome, since before you were of Kee, Kiala, any of them. He has been in this moment with you always. ~  
  
~What does that mean though? ~  
  
Another, more intense and much more horrifying insight came to her.  
  
"no" Kagome breathed in hopeless denial.  
  
Ferlias's smile grew until Kagome wanted to destroy him in every way possible, until she wanted to crush the life from him with her own bare hands. Within her the denial rang with more torturous understanding then she thought she could bare, the many personalities crushing agony and loss erupted sending her flashes of faces, filling her mind with names she had never known but had forever known. With this new catastrophic knowledge came the ache of many life times of betrayal. For in each of their life times there had been a love, an all encompassing love that had led to the most ultimate of treasons. And in the end it had been this duplicity that had caused their demise.  
  
Kagome tried frantically to regain the concentration of all the mikos whose minds whirled with this information and renewed pain. Only a few, such as Kee and Midoriko were still focused, those that had not lived their lives in the shadow of such human contact either by their own choice or the choice of others.  
  
She raised a hand to her head trying to clear it so that she could defend herself better all the time losing more and more confidence as the mikos became entrenched in their shared pain.  
  
~ We must stand Kagome...there is no hope for the others now...you must trust him...trust your instincts...know that his soul is worthy of such a thing. ~ Kee insisted sounding more frenetic then anything.  
  
"Is there a problem little miko?" Ferlias asked triumphantly.  
  
Kagome breathed deeply pulling Kee and Midoriko closer so that she had less distraction. The personalities willingly intertwined with her's to block out the others more effectively. She took another, deeper breath slowly releasing it. With the blocking of the other mikos she had unfortunately lessened her energies and it put her at a distinct disadvantage.  
  
"Now the game really begins," Ferlias commented in satisfaction.  
  
Kagome pulled her sword up, readying for his attack. Her resolve was still as firm as it had been before, she would defeat Ferlias without the others if need be. 


	43. Tosh's Real, Clear Choice

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters.  
  
Tosh closed his eye against the sight of Kagome's loss of power. He could not understand how the mikos could abandon her in such a way, at so critical of a time. He could feel the tumultuous churning of the others through his ongoing link to Kagome. Without this link she would not have been able to utilize the jewel fragments as she did since it lent her the essence of his youkai soul. He strained to embolden her with his own strength and power knowing it to be the futile gesture it was. The only power Kagome could call upon was of mikos and he had no such power within him to give. His anger at the others and himself was growing monumentally. He had known of the connection between the mikos and Inuyasha and yet had said nothing, thinking it unimportant. Ferlias had used the knowledge to his advantage and Tosh knew he had failed Kagome in a way he would never forgive himself for.  
  
He opened his eyes finally, surprised to find the combatants in the same positions as before. Neither of them moved and all that could be heard was the sound of their slightly strained breathing. Then Ferlias moved at Kagome, who without the support of the mikos responded slowly to it, no real match for youkai speed. Ferlias knocked her sword out of his way and slammed his shoulder into her chest, sending her flying across the field. Tosh flinched violently as her body met the ground with a resounding thud that even he could feel.  
  
"What's happening? What's wrong with her?" Inuyasha asked immediately.  
  
Tosh sighed, "What always happens..."  
  
"What are you talking about old man?" Inuyasha snapped, his concern obvious.  
  
"You heard what he said to her Inu...and it's the truth. Your soul and her's are connected and have always been so connected." Tosh began, interrupted by Kagome rising and launching herself at Ferlias who simply batted her body away as if she were a bug.  
  
"Speak a language I understand!" Inuyasha insisted angrily.  
  
"The downfall of a miko has been and will FOR ALL TIME be her heart. Only mikos who either die before meeting such a person or refuses such a person is not vulnerable to the person they fall in love with. In almost every case, when your soul and her soul met something happened that either made your soul abandon her or caused you to betray her to Ferlias. Do you understand now?! Ferlias has done the one thing that could guarantee his victory. He has separated Kagome from almost all of the others who did not recognize your soul until he brought you to their attention. She is not One any longer and it means her death by his hands once again!" Tosh finished in a voice one octave below bellowing.  
  
Inuyasha's eyes were wide with shock, "But I would never..."  
  
"Unfortunately you have already...many times. It is a betrayal for you to ignore her pain and justify your abhorrent behavior when near Kikyo. You have betrayed your own heart in this manner. She knows this of you Inuyasha, she has always known. A betrayal of the heart, no matter if it were visited upon another or upon your self, it is still a betrayal. You did not give her enough credit when it was due her, and so you have failed both of you." He explained with a heavy heart hoping Inuyasha could understand what he was attempting to say.  
  
Inuyasha's eyes clouded with conflicting emotions, "I see..."  
  
"No you really don't Inuyasha, you don't because you have a mind centered only on yesterday and tomorrow. What you don't understand is that this is not your downfall. Out there she is fighting for you, fighting for a future she sees somewhere in the distance of all of this. Fate only takes you so far Inuyasha...after that it is on you to find out where it has taken you and what to do with that knowledge. There are times I am glad I am dead, that such things no longer apply to me." He said realizing something as he watched Ferlias snatch at a quickly retreating Kagome "There are also times when I should heed my own advice".  
  
"Huh?" Inuyasha asked, confused.  
  
Tosh did not answer him as he stepped forward and concentrated, calling to himself a form he had long left behind in the physical realm. As he did so he felt himself fade then rushed his essence forward.  
  
Now there was only one real, clear choice and it was his to make.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Of all the things he had thought he would do for a miko he had never imagined he would be willing to break every rule ever set down by the higher beings. He should never have blended with Kagome and the others. He should never have materialized into this plane of existence. And now he was about to break the most important of all the rules. He was going to show his truest self to save Kagome from Ferlias. And he was doing so with no trepidation, no worry to changing others destinies. He had been at one time the Lord of the Western Lands and he was going to show this would be youkai lord what that meant. 


	44. Inutashio In Attendence

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Ferlias bound after Kagome's body with a sense of anticipation. After all this time, after everything that he had dealt with, finally he would get his vengeance. The miko's body hit the ground with a bone-rattling thud that had to have caused her great pain. Despite that fact she rolled over attempting to regain her footing. Even as she scrambled lethargically Ferlias raised his weapon above his head, planning on cutting her in half with one blow. Her face turned to him; her eyes regarded his nearness with something akin to grim determination and he hated her all the more for not even giving him the satisfaction of her fear.  
  
"Kagome!" yelled the half-breed, his voice frantic with horror.  
  
The other two companions giving voice to their own denial of what was about to happen followed his voice. He was disappointed to not hear Tosh's outrage as well.  
  
~ A small price to pay for a blood debt ~ He thought to himself  
  
He was so caught up in his impending victory that he failed to notice the wind pick up, causing Kagome's hair to fly about her head. The outline of something large standing over the girl appeared from nowhere and slowly began to materialize. Ferlias ignored this and went to bring his weapon down upon Kagome's upturned face. Kagome's arms finally flew up in a defensive motion. Ferlias began to laugh his triumph only to have it cut off abruptly as his sword sank into something solid that should not have been there.  
  
He stared at his intended target in disbelief. Her arms were down again and she was staring up. He followed her gaze, his eyes widening with apprehension and furry to meet the glowing red orbs of a giant dog youkai in full form. His sword was embedded into the youkai's leg, but no blood seeped from the wound.  
  
"Inutashio" Ferlias breathed flabbergasted.  
  
The youkai growled, displaying its enormous teeth threateningly. Ferlias ripped his sword from Inutashio's flesh and jumped back out of danger. The dog youkai followed his motion staying protectively over the young miko, moving only enough to keep Ferlias in sight.  
  
~ Did you really think I would allow you to kill her? ~ Inutashio asked in his mind.  
  
~ This is not allowed! ~ Ferlias roared at him.  
  
Inutashio chuckled darkly ~ You have been breaking the rules for centuries Ferlias, what made you imagine you were the only one who could do so? ~  
  
~ You would risk being banished to the void for this...this human? ~ Ferlias asked beyond comprehension.  
  
~ For her...for my son...for what they represent to all that know them...for this world and the next...yes I would risk even oblivion for these things. You know nothing of what I would do and have done without hesitation for those that matter to me. ~ Inutashio replied.  
  
~ Even disrupt their destinies? Wasn't it you who lectured me about that? ~ Ferlias snipped.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
* Flashback*  
  
Ferlias gazed across an open field at the great dog youkai and the tiny miko who stood against him. He did not know it at the time but she was only the first of many who would seal him to the void. For now he glared unbelievingly at Inutashio whom he had respected for so long.  
  
"Why would you stand with her against me?" He asked.  
  
"Because it is right Ferlias, because I must. You do not understand what you disrupt with your ideas of glory. You do not understand that this world is not for you. You cannot change someone's destiny and expect to escape unscathed. By being born into this world as a youkai you submitted yourself to its rules, by being born at all you have ripped the stream of destiny. It must be repaired, you must be sealed away now before it is to late for any of us." Inutashio informed him his voice grim.  
  
Why did he feel this deep sense of betrayal, did he actually think Inutashio would submit to him as overlord? No he should have expected this reaction, the dog youkai was only looking out for him self as any self- respecting youkai would. Inutashio held many lands under his control already and would not give these things up so easily. His eyes caught the tiniest of movements behind the miko and smiled to himself. Even if he was sealed into the void she would not live to see another day, betrayed by the one person she trusted whole-heartedly. He had seen to that and it had been a simple thing.  
  
"Submit to her Ferlias, you owe her that. She would not be as she is if you had stayed where you were. Let us end this with some degree of pride." Inutashio insisted.  
  
"I don't think so Inutashio" Ferlias snapped.  
  
"So be it." the tiny miko intoned then rushed at him with a speed he was unprepared for.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
~ You made your choice then as you have now Ferlias. This meeting is destiny, all the souls here are owed a blood debt that must be paid before there can be any resolution. This will be the last battle if I have to swallow you whole in order to make it so ~ Inutashio growled in his head.  
  
"Then come old man...let us see if you are still worthy of your title!" Ferlias hissed.  
  
Inutashio's growl escalated until Ferlias could feel it reverberating within his chest but the dog youkai did not move. Beneath him Kagome had stood up and was gazing at Ferlias dispassionately.  
  
~ They always have that same distant expression ~ Ferlias thought idly.  
  
Kagome stepped forward, her hand going out to rest upon the dog youkai's leg. She did not lean on him for support but seemed to only crave the contact to steady her self. Her eyes no longer misted with combined powers. She was dusty and disheveled, her hair laying flat, matted with blood from her neck injury. She bled openly from several places, her outfit having reappeared when her powers depleted had returned to Kee's outfit and was torn from the battle. Beneath her eyes were dark circles of exhaustion, her face pale from blood loss and exertion. And yet she did not look defeated in any way.  
  
Ferlias looked questioningly at her, for some reason uncertain facing this human who by all rights should be dead.  
  
"What you took from them you had no right to take" Kagome said quietly though he could hear her clearly "What you have done in the name of your own survival was not yours to do. You interrupted the destiny of the child that should have been born to that youkai female and you shall repay your blood debt to her, not to me, or Tosh, or anyone else. Only her who was to be born the day you usurped her body and mangled it to make it your own. This wasn't our debt to collect...it was her's. Didn't you ever wonder where mikos came from Ferlias?" 


	45. The Origin Of Mikos

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
"What you took from them you had no right to take" Kagome said quietly her senses finally at a complete stand still "What you have done in the name of your own survival was not yours to do. You interrupted the destiny of the child that should have been born to that youkai female and you shall repay your blood debt to her, not to me, or Tosh, or anyone else. Only her who was to be born the day you usurped her body and mangled it to make it your own. This wasn't our debt to collect...it was her's. Didn't you ever wonder where mikos came from Ferlias?"  
  
Kagome stared at the shocked Ferlias unblinkingly, her body aching for sleep, just for a moment to be released from this dull throbbing of exhaustion. She resolutely pushed back the want knowing she had more important things to worry about. The first being what had opened inside of her, the original miko, so old she no longer knew her name but understood more then even Midoriko could.  
  
There was so much this miko felt, though she had been dead for so many centuries. Kagome could appreciate the miko's horror of what she had become, the knowledge of being born wrong so deeply instilled in her that there was no true sense of self. The original miko had never felt comfortable in her body, never felt right to her self. But she had felt comfortable with Inutashio by her side. It had seemed an unendurable length of time before the great dog youkai had entered her life, bringing with him her first taste of genuine calm and comfort.  
  
It had been the appearance of Inutashio standing over Kagome that had triggered this almost dormant miko who did not give her power so much as she allowed her power to answer the call of another miko which was impossible to resist. The moment Inutashio was there above her in full form, the original felt her personality rise to be counted in this battle. It was the rise of this miko that captured the attention of all that were inside of Kagome silencing their anguish in an instant. Her companion had come and she was needed to fulfill her destiny. With this rise came the knowledge of the origin of the mikos themselves because she held the truth of it, so it was given to Kagome without thought.  
  
SHE had been the one destined to be born of a youkai female, already alert inside her mother's womb. It had been a wonderful place of warmth, her mother's heartbeat a constant comfort. But then HE had come with his cruelty and force pushing her from her body though she fought valiantly against the intruder with all that a newborn was given. She had wanted that life, had wanted her mother, and had wanted to be a part of the physical realm. Instead HE had won and cast her from her rightful place, ripping her away from what had been rightfully her's and her's alone.  
  
And yet something had caught her soul even as it had slipped away crying its outrage. She had been held, reassured, and sent to another mother to be born full of the knowledge of what had happened to her, full of powers that had been bestowed upon her by those that had kept her from the realm of the dead. Instead of being born as youkai she was born human, and instead of having the powers of a youkai she was given the power to destroy the strongest of them all. She was born the first miko to ever walk the physical realm.  
  
"It was you who made it necessary for mikos to come into this world Ferlias. You started the chain, and you are forever linked to us because of it. If you had never come into this plane of existence we would never have existed. Did you never wonder why you had never heard the term "miko" before you came?" She asked, her voice still gentle.  
  
"What does it matter?" Ferlias asked.  
  
"It matters because that is why we are all locked in this reoccurring battle. You never fully understood the consequences of your actions. That is why destiny played its part. No matter if you win today and all of this is for nothing ANOTHER will come and ANOTHER until you have repaid what you owe. The soul that you separated from its real body became the first miko and all mikos come from her but it is not what she was destined for, what you did interrupted that destiny and it will not be denied. It will not allow you to stop its natural flow." Kagome insisted moving away from Inutashio's leg until she was directly under his enormous chin.  
  
"You make no sense miko." Ferlias snarled, "Even if I were willing to die which I am not you risk your own survival to free that miko. How is it that one such as you who defends life is so willing to risk it? I have never understood any mikos, so fast to put themselves in harms way, ready to use their last breath to defend another. Is that why you are so adamant over this? Has her tragic story struck a cord inside of you? Have your misplaced loyalties finally caused you to become insane? I am not swayed by this speech in the least. I do not owe any miko anything but death."  
  
Kagome sighed, "I do not risk my life if I free the Original...she was never meant to be what she became...I was. What I am offering is an end to this fight; you will never get what you want Ferlias because of WHAT you are. Higher beings such as yourself were never meant to upset the balance of destiny and free will. They were never meant to intrude upon something that they were never a part of in the first place. If you were meant to have been born a youkai you wouldn't have had to steal a youkai's body."  
  
Ferlias felt his lip curl in annoyance, "This is a waste of time...fight or die. Those are your choices"  
  
"As you wish," Kagome agreed with a nod, her eyes clouding with patient acceptance "Then your death it will be".  
  
Ferlias grinned at her, "You have no weapon miko"  
  
Her eyes flashed, "I am a weapon youkai"  
  
Inutashio's teeth parted in a wolfish grin, his aura erupting into waves of blue flame. Kagome put a hand up touching the dog youkai's chin. Inutashio's power flowed over her permeating her body with youkai energy. The other miko's opened themselves to this rush of power, the Original shaping it to serve them best as only she could do.  
  
Unbeknownst to the others the Original also reached out to the soul of her love, having realized much in the blending with Kagome. SHE saw the potential to end all that had gone so wrong for everyone and she was willing to do anything, knowing instinctively that this latest reincarnation of her soul was very much a kindred spirit and would support anything she chose to do.  
  
SHE was met with some resistance; her love was in a state of shock and did not respond at first. She quelled the frustration she felt and concentrated he would eventually answer her. He could not help himself. 


	46. A Whisper In His Heart

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Inuyasha stared dumbfounded at the figure of his father standing over Kagome protectively. It could be no other then Inutashio; there was no similar dog youkai to this one. There had never been. And he had been standing right beside him all this time!!  
  
~ How stupid could I have been? ~ He asked himself.  
  
The towering figure of Inutashio overwhelmed Inuyasha's senses. The smell of the great dog youkai permeated the air. The scent of his father almost brought tears to Inuyasha's eyes, somehow his mind recognized the scent bringing back images of the time he spent with his mother, how her robes would carry the barely perceptible smell underneath her scent. Though he had not known his father a deep sense of pride filled him causing his chest to swell with the unfamiliar feeling. Seeing his father play such a role in this battle made him yearn to be part of it, so he could for once stand at his father's side and know what it was like to do such a thing.  
  
"Inutashio...isn't that..." Miroku unfinished question made Inuyasha look at the monk.  
  
"Yes its my father" He informed both Sango and Miroku.  
  
Sango's brow furrowed "I don't understand...how can he be here? I mean he was a youkai..."  
  
"He came with Kagome...he was the old man who took us out of her head. I don't understand it either. He shouldn't be here," Inuyasha confessed.  
  
"He is a higher being Inuyasha" Miroku said meaningfully.  
  
Inuyasha stared uncomprehendingly at Miroku who gave a long-suffering sigh before he went on.  
  
"A higher being...one of the ones that watch over us and protect us. The ones who set down and defend the laws of nature. It has never been said that a youkai could not attain such a status. It is unusual but I am sure it happens more often then we hear about. That is what I was trying to tell you before he separated us from Kagome. It amazes me that you didn't feel his essence, it was so strong it was hard to not submit to."  
  
Inuyasha snorted, "He was the Lord of the Western Lands for centuries why would he lower himself to that?"  
  
Miroku rolled his eyes, "Why would a great and mighty youkai lord help a miko Inuyasha...don't be dense. If you were paying any attention at all you would have noticed he is PROTECTING Kagome. And he is breaking natural laws to do so."  
  
Inuyasha growled at Miroku in frustration, "Can't any of you people speak a common language?! What does that mean?!"  
  
Miroku sighed deeply again then tipped his chin towards where Inutashio stood over Kagome. Inuyasha followed his line of vision to see that Kagome had moved to under Inutashio's chin. The dog youkai's aura flared wildly and Kagome put a hand to his chin, letting the blue aura surround her.  
  
"Does that seem normal to you Inuyasha? Your father is helping a MIKO! He appeared first to us as an old man who quite obviously had been helping Kagome all this time. Now he is in his youkai form, a form that is forbidden to him since he is dead. And now he is giving Kagome, A MIKO, his essence to fight Ferlias with! There are laws of nature Inuyasha, unbreakable laws that if broken can mean the unraveling of destinies. A higher being's essence is so powerful it is prohibited to expose a human to it because it might end their lives and ruin many destinies that were intertwined with that human. Kagome should be dead but she isn't. Inutashio should be unable to attain that form but he has..."  
  
"And Ferlias should be destroyed but he isn't yada yada yada...would you speak MY language monk before I smash your head in!" Inuyasha yelled, his hands fisting.  
  
He knew he was being thick he couldn't help it. Sometime during Miroku's explanation something had begun to tug at Inuyasha's mind. It distracted him to the point that he had all but ignored Miroku. When he had finally returned his attention to the monk there was no hope of understanding what was being said to him. The "something" tugged at Inuyasha again, and his attention fixed solely on Kagome.  
  
~ yes...hear me ~  
  
"What?" He asked out loud, confused.  
  
"Inuyasha if you aren't going to listen..." Miroku began annoyed.  
  
Inuyasha frowned, a strange feeling creeping over him as he stared at Kagome. Somewhere inside of him an intense need to act began to grow. He had no idea where it was coming from; it was not the usual place for his impatience to become apparent in. It was from his heart that this new feeling was originating.  
  
~ to be redeemed ~  
  
His heart began beating more rapidly in response to this strange call. His shoulders tensed as if he were about to pull Tetsusaiga. He bit the inside of his cheek, confused. There was no reason for him to be responding like this. He was very certain that it was pure suicide to involve himself in the fight, that neither his father nor Kagome would want him to.  
  
~ to end the strife ~  
  
His head began to swim with vertigo and he shook it slightly hoping to dispel the feeling. It only intensified and he felt himself break out in a sweat.  
  
"Inuyasha?"  
  
It was Sango, her voice full of worry. He wanted to answer her but could not force himself to do so.  
  
~ be for her what you could not be for me ~  
  
He swallowed convulsively. He understood what was being asked of him. His whole body wished to respond to the urgent whisper of the voice in his heart. The vertigo slipped away leaving behind an echo that came from deep inside him. The echo was filled with a remorse that he understood completely, it was similar to the remorse he felt when thinking of what might have been if Kikyo had survived. It was the remorse he felt knowing his heart longed for Kagome. It was an ache he had long become accustomed to over these past months and yet it was deeper then his own feelings, deeper then anything he had ever experienced. Images leapt to his mind full of women he had never met, names for these women floated to his attention only to be whisked away and replaced by other names, other faces. He did not fight the knowledge, his grasp of what was happening to him told him it was something he could not stop. He immersed himself in the new purpose that had risen inside of him.  
  
~ To be redeemed ~  
  
He put his hand on the hilt of Tetsusaiga and waited. 


	47. The Rest Of The Roles Revealed

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Miroku watched Inuyasha's face change from complete confusion to determination and knew that the hanyou would involve himself in the battle with Ferlias. He could sense that something had awakened inside Inuyasha, something that was strong and eternal. This something would not be denied and Miroku was hard pressed not to stop what he knew would happen.  
  
~ Be still monk...your time will come ~ said a female voice inside his head.  
  
He jerked in surprise ~ who are you ~  
  
~ I am the one who is owed a life. I have no name. I am the first miko who ever existed. All of you must be involved in the destruction of Ferlias or he cannot be defeated. ~  
  
~ Inuyasha is half youkai...do you not understand what could happen to him? ~ He asked the voice angry for his friend's sake.  
  
~ There is no choice. The risk must be taken. Destiny will not be denied. ~  
  
~ There is always a choice...you just don't know an alternative. Let me take the risk. ~ He demanded.  
  
A twinkling laughter filled his mind, one full of affection not scorn ~ this is why your soul was chosen monk. Be at ease you will know what to do when the time comes as will the youkai exterminator. Understand I have loved him from the beginning and there is nothing that would cause me to harm him if I had the choice. Kagome will not allow it. These are things you know even if you are not fully aware of it yet. Our souls have been called to finish what was started centuries ago. Be ready, when the time comes there will be no room for hesitation. ~  
  
Sometime during the conversation something inside of his soul began to respond to the miko, and it began revealing to him sights and sounds he had never experienced. The voice had been correct. He had stood here many times, in much the same way witnessing the battle between mikos and the youkai lord. He had involved himself on more then one occasion, thinking to save the miko only to meet an untimely death at the hands of Ferlias. In spite of that his soul needed to help the miko, needed to correct the mistake that was Ferlias so that the damage the youkai had done to this one destiny could be repaired. He understood more then the miko could for he had traveled at one time with Inutashio to seek out that first of many mikos and had been privy to many of the secrets of life, having lived the most of that life as a priest and guardian of sacred teachings that involved the soul and the higher beings. He had been very well educated in the ins and outs of such things and stood for the progression of life in every way he could.  
  
He was filled with the eternal purpose as well, could not deny the miko what he knew was his responsibility as well.  
  
Miroku found he had stood during the conversation, his staff held tightly in his hand. He noted that Sango stood slightly in front of him, Hiraikotsu held at the ready. He wondered idly when Sango had retrieved her weapon and then decided it did not matter. The miko had probably spoken to her as well and she was ready to play her part in this battle. He still held strong reservations about it but kept these doubts to himself, trusting that Kagome would not allow them to be involved if there was any other choice.  
  
He gazed at Kagome, who was surrounded by a whirlwind of Inutashio's essence, her entire being standing ready to unleash this new source of power on a confused Ferlias.  
  
He began to pray for all of them.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sango shifted Hiraikotsu into a more comfortable position upon her back. All of her senses alert for when she would unleash the weapon on Ferlias. Her mind shifted back to the short conversation she had engaged in with the miko in her mind.  
  
~ Get up exterminator you time is almost here ~ the voice had rung inside her mind.  
  
~ When? ~  
  
If she had not had the experience of the other mikos blending with Kagome to save her life she would have rejected the idea that this miko was speaking to her. It seemed natural for her to know who was speaking to her in this way, to not question it.  
  
She was moving to Hiraikotsu before she had finished her thought, pushing away her weakness with the stubbornness she was so well known for within her group of friends. The motion made her head swim with dizziness but it passed when her hand found the handle of her weapon. As she hefted the bone boomerang she gasped as a new personality opened itself to her. It was ancient and full of the miko's purpose. Sango felt herself blend with this entity only to find she had new insight into this battle. It was not she who was being called into this battle. It was the youkai that Hiraikotsu was made from. He had known Inutashio when the youkai lord was only just starting on his crusade to stop Ferlias. He had known Inutashio to be wise beyond his years, and deadly if crossed and had respected the youkai.  
  
Though he had not understood what the exact nature of the battle was he had watched it, just as the priest (Miroku?) had, and somehow this action had locked him into the balance of this eternal struggle. He remembered all of the first battle, watching from his perch on a nearby tree. He recalled being mystified as to why Inutashio would support such a dangerous new creature as the miko, though at the time he had not known that was what she was called. He recalled being shocked that the miko's love (Inuyasha?) had burst from the high grass and thrust a dagger into her back, he did not approve of such gross betrayals even if it were only a human that had committed such a thing. It had sickened him to the core of his being and perhaps that had been what had locked him into this battle for all time. Perhaps if he had not had such a strong reaction to the tragic events he might have been spared the many times he had been forced to witness it. He was not a cruel youkai but there had been times that he had wanted to kill the miko. Times that he had despised her for connecting him to events he really did not want to be involved in.  
  
But this was of the past and at least part of the soul that had been the youkai's now resided inside of a weapon wielded by a human. Perhaps this was his punishment for such thoughts, or it could very well be his redemption. Maybe...finally he would be released from his grim duty.  
  
Sango tightened her grip on the leather handle. Unknown to her, the red of an angered youkai was seeping into her eyes, blending with her own brown. A low growl had begun deep in her chest, this she did not notice.  
  
She patiently waited for her chance to end all of this. 


	48. Miroku Is First

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Kagome bit her lip in concentration. Though the bulk of Inutashio's power was filtered through the mikos she was being bombarded with a backlash of bone deep ache. The miko energy was not meant to mix with youkai energy so completely and it seemed there was a price to be paid for doing such a thing. She kept her mind centered on her breathing, on the feel of silky fur against her upturned hand, the look of confusion and uncertainty that had spread across Ferlias's face when she had begun to take power from Inutashio. She was hard pressed not to release her hold on the dog youkai, relieving herself of the throbbing that clawed at her internally. The other mikos had returned their attention to the battle, their powers raced through her being like wildfire. And yet instinctively she had known it would not be enough, would never be enough to fully destroy Ferlias. She required powers that she did not posses and somehow without prior planning she had communicated to Inutashio her need.  
  
Her body trembled with the all-inclusive power, but she did not release it. Something inside of her told her to wait, that there was an event that needed to occur before she could possibly alter this destiny  
  
~ Last time counts for all child...take what you need and destroy him as it should have been done so long ago ~ Inutashio whispered to her, his voice full of assurance and purpose.  
  
~ I'm afraid ~ she whispered back, her heart yearning to do what was right but her knowledge of what was about to be done seeming too monumental for all of them.  
  
~ Kagome, if you were not afraid then you would not be alive. This is the time that will change your life in ways you have yet to imagine. Remember bravery is not in facing youkai when you are certain...it is in doing so when you are stripped of everything. Know in your heart that everything that must happen will happen and that it will not be at a cost that is unbearable. Trust yourself, you will know what to do. ~ Inutashio responded in his way.  
  
Kagome took a deep breath and returned her full attention to Ferlias. It wasn't hate that filled her now, only an unfathomable sense of finality, which she welcomed in place of her apprehension for herself and the others. Of its own accord her freehand raised and then curled, calling to itself her sword that had previously lain forgotten behind Inutashio where it had slipped from her grasp due to her impact with the ground earlier. She tightened her grip on the weapon, finding comfort in its weight.  
  
Ferlias took an uncertain step backwards as he watched her and she found that Kee was amused by this show.  
  
~ He can feel his demise Kagome...be swift and certain. ~ The dark miko advised her.  
  
"You cannot run Ferlias. There is nowhere for you to hide from us anymore" Kagome said aloud.  
  
Ferlias glowered at her, "You are a fool miko. There is nothing you can do to change your destiny. All of you will die by my hand. That is the way it has always been...the way it will always be!"  
  
As his tone of voice rose into a roar Ferlias's hands that held his swords began to glow with a fierce green light. Kagome felt the ominous power that came out of the youkai lord in menacing waves. At the same time she noticed that her friends had begun to range behind Ferlias. Sango and Miroku went to the sides, Inuyasha stood behind Ferlias. All were well beyond Ferlias's physical reach but not beyond his power's reach. Kagome's heart beat more fiercely.  
  
~ It is their right. Do not try to deny them this. ~ Said the first miko.  
  
~Why are you doing this? I can win this battle. ~ Kagome snapped back.  
  
~ Our's is not the only destiny that must be corrected. It must be this way miko. ~ Was the angered reply.  
  
Though she did not agree with this action Kagome let it go, knowing this was something she had no say in. Despite that fact she resolved to watch over her friends, she was not willing to sacrifice anyone for this clash.  
  
Just as she thought this Ferlias braced himself, pointing his swords straight at her. His concentrated energies rolled at her at a mind-blowing speed. She felt Inutashio tense readying to put himself in the path of the dangerous power.  
  
~ NO! ~ Screamed the combined mikos in fury at the threat to Inutashio, THEIR FRIEND.  
  
Without hesitation their powers reached out and surrounded the dog youkai, then flung him away from them, out of harms way. Kagome crossed her arms over her face, bracing herself, as the attack enfolded her body. She stubbornly ground her teeth against the cry of agony that ripped at her throat as the green energy wrenched her soul tearing at the binds that completed her connection with the other mikos. Her insides felt as if they had been set into acid. She fought against the power's attempt to rupture the combined personalities within her. Her own power rose up and consumed the attacking energy within moments.  
  
Breathing hard she slowly lowered her arms. Again Ferlias seemed amused by her. Kagome reached inside of herself recalling the energies that she had combined. They answered her in a second, flaring around her body. Coldness swept all the way through her causing her skin to tingle as if she was standing outside during winter. Her focus became narrowed to one point. She raised her own weapon and allowed her force to flow throughout it, the jewel fragments enhancing it as the youkai energy touched them directly. A smile of anticipation came to her face as Ferlias was encircled this time. His cry of rage and pain so deeply satisfying to her that she was forced to laugh, releasing the feeling into the air. She had never felt so intensely the reward of wounding her enemy. She gloried in it.  
  
The energy tapered off as she pulled it back to see the damage she had done. Ferlias was breathing just as heavy as she had been; a growl escaping with each of his exhales. His robes were tattered now, his hair released from its holder flared wildly about his head. Blood ran from the corner of his mouth and down his chin. He coughed and spat blood onto the ground. His eyes burned into her's, his fury palpable.  
  
Neither of them spoke, both understanding that at last they stood on equal footing.  
  
Kagome stepped forward, her approach gaining in speed as she ran at him. Her blood again was aflame with battle, her energies rising in response to her need. Ferlias also ran forward an earsplitting bellow expressing his anger.  
  
Their swords met with a loud clash of metal. Kagome did not pause, slipping under their swords to place her hand on Ferlias's large chest. The youkai lord grunted in pain as the power flowed into him, surrounding his body in a nimbus of exploding colors. Kagome then moved out from under him, knowing she needed to conserve her power, drawing her blade from his, allowing him to stumble forward as she moved back. Ferlias spun and launched himself at her, flinging his smaller sword away. She brought her sword up, blocking his downward swing. Ferlias reached out with his freehand and grasped the hilt of her sword, his large hand enveloping her smaller one. She bit her lip against the pain of his crushing grip and fed her power into the sword again. It ripped outward, surrounding both of them. She met his eyes in pleasure as a pained grunt came from him. He smiled at her with his own pleasure. She had only a moment to realize just what he intended when his power, now amplified by the jewel fragments, forced itself into her. Her shoulders automatically rounded in a protective motion as a more intense fire swallowed her. Sweat formed on her face instantly as she strained against Ferlias to free herself. Ferlias tightened his grip, his face twisted in repulsive gratification.  
  
Kagome felt the pain threatening her consciousness, attempting to free her from the onslaught of an agony she had never known could be endured. She blinked her eyes rapidly, forcing herself to stay aware. His power clawed at her linking personalities, which fought to remain intact. The battle grew inside of her sending wave after wave of torment through her body. She tasted blood and knew soon it would rise into her throat. Frustrated she spat into Ferlias's face hoping to distract him. His grin only widened. Her reservoir of power was draining from the continued use.  
  
One of her legs gave out and with a cry of furious irritation she fell to one knee. Ferlias bent over her his grip becoming stronger.  
  
"I told you miko, you should have run when you had the chance." He whispered to her.  
  
She glowered at him, "There is always another time Ferlias...always another destiny to right the wrongs you have committed."  
  
"And I will kill them too" He spat as his power flared and intensified.  
  
She finally gave voice to her suffering. A strangled roar that was full of the entirety of her frustration, anger, resentment, and fear. Ferlias began to laugh in triumph. Kagome closed her eyes momentarily attempting to push back to rising misgivings inside of her.  
  
His laugh was cut short as the end of what looked to be a steel staff erupted from his shoulder. Immediately the assault of his power withdrew and Kagome gasped trying to regain her breath. Ferlias, in obvious confusion looked at the protruding end, his face full of bewilderment. Kagome recognized her opportunity and tore her weapon out of Ferlias's grip, throwing herself back out of his reach if he attempted to regain it. Ferlias seemed frozen and unable to cope with the idea that he had been attacked.  
  
Kagome rose shakily and found Miroku standing behind Ferlias, his staff still in his hands. The monk's face was full of fury. With a strong jerk, Miroku brought his staff out of Ferlias and moved back. Ferlias's hand rose to the wound and covered it, as if he could erase it by doing so.  
  
Miroku looked at Kagome then who involuntarily flinched away from the emotions that displayed themselves in his eyes. Miroku shook his head and looked away from her his cheeks beginning to burn with some unknown shame. Kagome longed to speak with him, to understand what exactly was happening. She knew Miroku had to have been affected by his nearness to her unleashed powers; it should have thrown the monk into unconsciousness.  
  
A flash of red was her only warning to the next attack on Ferlias. 


	49. Inuyasha's Soul Cries Out

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Inuyasha had watched Kagome throw his father from her with a mixture of dispassion and fear. He was hard pressed to not simply ignore the sight, the other personalities of his soul insisting his attention be solely on the miko. With his usual bend towards diplomacy he thrust the others aside and ran to the now human looking body of Inutashio who was rising slowly, a slightly annoyed expression on his face.  
  
"Damn mikos...that's gratitude for you.... try and save their lives and what do you get? A face full of dirt and exclusion from one of the best fights this century has ever known. This is the last time I mess with that girl!" Inutashio grumbled irritably.  
  
"Are you alright?" Inuyasha asked worriedly as he reached him.  
  
Inutashio scowled momentarily then barked a short laugh, "Yes yes Inu...what did you think? That she had killed me?"  
  
Inuyasha chuckled, "I guess not."  
  
Inutashio smiled fully, "I did not think she had it in her still to be that concerned about my well being...nice of her though I must admit. It is almost your time my boy you had better pay attention."  
  
As he finished speaking Inutashio motioned with his hand and Inuyasha followed the motion. The sight the met his eyes brought a flood of memories and emotions that almost overwhelmed him with guilt. Kagome and Ferlias were locked in battle a corona of green, pink, and black warring energies surrounding their straining figures.  
  
~ I left her during such a battle...I ran from her when she needed me most. ~ Whispered one of the personalities to him.  
  
~ I killed her during such a battle. ~ Whispered another, more full of guilt then he could ever be.  
  
~ I abandoned her before she could do this. ~ Whispered another still.  
  
Inuyasha put a hand to his head as thousands of voices cried out their own account of what they had done, how they had betrayed her. Self-loathing filled Inuyasha as he was overwhelmed by the traitorous voices, his mind teeming with recriminations. His own guilt over what had happened to Kikyo only adding fuel to the conflagration. His betrayals of Kagome looming larger and larger in his mind, encompassing even the worst of the others until his body ached with the force of his self torture.  
  
~ Is it not enough that here and now you wish to save her? ~ Asked Inutashio's gentle voice interrupting his thoughts.  
  
Inuyasha blinked and raised his eyes to find his father looking at him thoughtfully. He realized in that moment how kind his father was for supporting the mikos all of this time. He had never thought of his father as a "kind" person, just as the great Lord of the Western Lands, a youkai lord of power and might. He wondered why he had never really delved into what type of person Inutashio had been, what had made him a great youkai lord. He knew it was because he had never really wanted to know, had never wanted to destroy his image of him.  
  
Inutashio smiled softly ~ Perhaps another time my Inuyasha...for now let us leave it at I am proud of you...of who you have become and I always will be. Concentrate Inuyasha...Kagome needs you more then the mikos need their loves...she is of the now and they have been long dead. ~  
  
Inuyasha nodded, tears stinging his eyes then turned his awareness to Kagome. In a heartbeat he called on his own emotions pushing the others from his mind. He knew that if he allowed the others to fill him with their guilt there would be no turning back from it. It interfered with his attention to the ongoing battle and their pain be damned if it put Kagome in danger.  
  
More intense wrath flooded him as Kagome slipped to one knee, a yelp of pain coming from her. He was about to move when Miroku launched himself at Ferlias's unguarded back and impaled the youkai with his staff. Kagome slipped away from Ferlias quickly rising to her feet.  
  
This was enough for Inuyasha. He drew Tetsusaiga without thought, barely noticing that Miroku had removed his staff and had stepped back. Inuyasha didn't falter as he rushed at the kneeling youkai thinking only of Ferlias's death. At the last moment Ferlias looked up at Inuyasha, his eyes narrowing in some unknown thought. Inuyasha brought his sword down, aiming for the neck of Ferlias. In a flash the youkai lord brought his sword up and blocked the intended deathblow. Inuyasha quickly brought Tetsusaiga around to the side, his anger growing. Ferlias blocked this as well and slid his sword up Inuyasha's until their hilts locked.  
  
"Inuyasha!" Kagome exclaimed, her voice low with anger and concern.  
  
Ferlias grinned at Inuyasha then in one swift movement grasped his head with his large hand. Inuyasha strained to break the hold only to be immersed in a terrible, ripping pain that raced from end to end of his body. He heard himself cry out. Suddenly he was flying into the air and he tensed for the impact with the ground, still unbalanced from abrupt release from the pain. As quickly as he could he rose, ready to go after Ferlias again despite how his head swam.  
  
He witnessed Sango step forward and let fly Hiraikotsu. He silently cheered as the weapon rocketed into Ferlias sending him backwards. Inuyasha readied to attack yet again but stopped after only one step forward as a blade impaled Ferlias from behind, directly where the youkai lord's heart should be. Blood poured down his robes from the wound.  
  
Ferlias looked up at the sky and Inuyasha imagined he was asking the higher beings why they would allow something like this to happen to him. Inuyasha grinned, beginning his trek forward again only to be stopped by his father's arm.  
  
"What are you doing?" Inuyasha snapped.  
  
"It isn't over Inuyasha...you are at risk. Stay beside me until she is finished" Inutashio ordered forbiddingly.  
  
Inuyasha scowled not understanding what the problem was until a shock of miko power made him yelp in surprise and pain. He stared in awe as Ferlias was surrounded by the most concentrated miko energy Inuyasha had ever encountered. His blood boiled with little fires from the nearness of such an awesome force. His father moved farther in front of him protectively now joined by Sango who stood in much the same way. He had not realized that she had moved there and was startled to find Miroku standing next to him. He felt as if he had been in a daze and slowly resheathed Tetsusaiga.  
  
A roar from Ferlias brought Inuyasha's attention back and what he saw he knew would be burned into his memory forever. 


	50. The Heart Of Hiraikotsu

A/N: If this chapter is a little confusing I apologize, I am open for suggestions to make it more understandable. I don't want to give anything away but I'm sure you'll know what part I'm talking about when you get to it. Hopefully I didn't do too badly of a job :S. dragonfly-rising  
  
Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Miroku stepped away from Ferlias his mind seething. As his eyes met Kagome's all he could think was that he had overstepped his bounds by acting first and a deep shame crept over him causing his cheeks to flame. He did not know exactly what had prompted him to act, it had just happened. He was extremely confused by his own reaction. Why would he be ashamed of acting to save Kagome's life? Why in the world would he be so concerned about it being his "place" to do so?  
  
He looked up as Inuyasha swept in to met Ferlias and felt his hands tightened around his staff in hope. It did not take but a moment for Ferlias to recover from what he had done to the youkai, which irked Miroku. The only reason he had attacked with his weapon was out of apprehension of using his Air Rip so close to the power of the mikos inside of Kagome. He did not want to chance something similar to what Kee had tried to occur again.  
  
~ You have done well...do not over think monk...that has always been your weakness ~ intoned the echoing voice of the original miko.  
  
~ I cannot help myself miko, there is much to consider when involving one's self in a battle that involves hearts such as this one. ~ Answered his soul before he could form a thought.  
  
~ The end is nearing...protect the hanyou monk, he is now your charge ~ SHE said.  
  
Miroku nodded absently and then flinched as Inuyasha met the ground. He ran over to him barely noticing when Hiraikotsu rushed behind him, mere inches from where he had formerly been.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sango flew with Hiraikotsu after she released him, full of the enormity of his soul. Her intended target was unaware of her, thinking only of the hanyou in his twisted, futile anger. It would not matter if he became aware in the next few moments it was too late. When she slammed into the youkai lord her mind echoed with the rapturous bellow of triumph that Hiraikotsu uttered. She flew back to herself, her body reacting automatically to her return. She felt every moment of her halt, how the weight of her caused the human body to skid back in reaction. How her own hand fit perfectly into the leather strip. How her weapon was only an extension of her self and her intentions.  
  
~ Thank you ~ said the miko graciously.  
  
~ This is the end? ~ Sango/Hiraikotsu asked  
  
~ You have played your part...that is all I have ever asked of you ~ the miko agreed.  
  
~ Then we are done and I may sleep...finally ~ Hiraikotsu/Sango sighed wearily.  
  
~ Please...I must ask you one last favor before you do so... ~ the miko began.  
  
~ Have I not given you enough lifetimes creature?! ~ Hiraikotsu/Sango demanded crossly.  
  
~ Not for me...for the girl Kagome~ the miko insisted.  
  
~Ask this favor and let us be done with each other ~ Hiraikotsu ordered responding to the flare of Sango's desire to help her friend.  
  
~ The hanyou...there must be a sacrifice...~  
  
~You CANNOT have the hanyou he is not a choice and I will not harm him, if only for the sake of Inutashio. ~ Hiraikotsu responded furiously.  
  
~ I ask only that you keep him from Kagome until the flame of Ferlias has been extinguished. ~ The miko fired back.  
  
~ This I can do...he will stay with me until such a time ~ Hiraikotsu agreed.  
  
Sango found herself more fully integrated with the youkai that accepted the name Hiraikotsu despite the fact that it was not his true name. The ancient being was resigned to his new duty and it affected her outlook of this entire battle. She/He turned and moved to where Miroku, Inuyasha, and Inutashio stood watching Kagome. She/He did not look to see what was transpiring with the miko, her/his main concern being to stand beside Inutashio who stood slightly in front of the hanyou, blocking an obviously anxious Inuyasha from rushing to Kagome's aid. Only when she/he her/him self took up a position similar to the dead youkai lord's did she/he allow her/him self to realize what was happening.  
  
~ It is good to have you here my friend ~ said a thankful Inutashio.  
  
~ Thank that damn miko Inutashio I would have never interfered if she had not asked. ~ Hiraikotsu replied tersely.  
  
~ Still I would have no other by my side ~ Inutashio replied.  
  
Hiraikotsu sighed ~ Will you never take things as seriously as they should be taken Inutashio? ~  
  
~ It is unfair that you of all youkai should accuse me of taking such things too lightly ~ Inutashio snorted in his mind.  
  
~ That is the past Inutashio ~ Hiraikotsu snapped.  
  
~ Was it not you who attempted to save the last miko to face Ferlias just to see if you could? What was her name again? M something I believe...Ming or was it ...~ Inutashio teased.  
  
~ HER name was Maue if you really want to say it correctly, not that you have ever forgotten any of THEIR names Inutashio ~ Hiraikotsu snarled.  
  
~ Yes I know...it is such a very long list of names. ~ Agreed Inutashio, his voice colored with grief.  
  
~ Perhaps this one...this...Kagome will do what the others could not. ~ Hiraikotsu offered reacting to the sorrow in his friend's voice.  
  
~ And perhaps it will not be at too high of a cost. ~ Inutashio added.  
  
Hiraikotsu empathized with the older youkai, he/she could never have stood by knowing the outcome of every meeting, praying that maybe this time it would be different. He/she already had great respect for Inutashio but he/she found it was growing every time such a meeting would occur. It was unfathomable to him/her for Inutashio to grieve these humans, and yet there was the small part of him/her, when Maue had lived that he/she had yearned to be different then he/she was, when he/she had felt the need to be more then he/she had ever thought possible of him/her self.  
  
~ We all carry our burdens do we not my friend? ~ He asked rhetorically.  
  
~ Yes and sometimes they never leave us. ~ Answered the older youkai sadly.  
  
Hiraikotsu folded his/her arms and watched the unfolding events in front of them. His/Her mind wandering to another time when he/she had dared to love a miko, if only from a distance, causing him/her to take a risk so foolish he/she had lost his life to it. He/she knew the frustration the hanyou felt intimately. He/She did the one thing he had promised him/her self he/she would never do, he/she began to pray in earnest to whatever gods were willing to listen. 


	51. The Final Flame

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Kagome braced herself behind Ferlias holding her weapon high, aware that Hiraikotsu was headed directly for the youkai, understanding the weapon's intentions automatically. She set her teeth as everything inside of her responded to the eminent impact, the strange throbbing caused by Inutashio's energies only increasing as Kee's finally committed her powers fully, warping the internal force into an even more dangerous and complete destructive strength. Sweat stood out on her brow as the energies struggled to be released before it was time. It churned inside of her clawing and ripping at her to have its potential realized. Her entire body trembled with the ferocity of the withheld power.  
  
Ferlias was shoved backwards violently. She stepped forward into the youkai lord's movement. The sword entered the flesh with no resistance up to the hilt. Blood gushed over her hand; the rapture that filled her left her breathless. Part of her that remained only her was disturbed by the reaction, uncomfortable with such joy coming out of so much pain. A few other of the personalities reacted with the same deep sense of reproach. She felt these others on the verge of stepping away from the fight their personalities requiring them to not involve themselves in so base of an emotion.  
  
~ No...we are of one mind, our task is not finished. You will not remove yourselves from the others until it is done. Though we may not approve that is not what we are here for mikos. ~ Midoriko reminded them, her own disgust quite apparent in her tone.  
  
A general agreement swept through Kagome and with it came the unplanned release of the energies, which exploded from her so enthusiastically that she gasped out loud in shock. Sweat now poured down the sides of her face and she could feel it soaking her outfit thoroughly. Ferlias bellowed in agony as he was bombarded with the terrible new power that Kagome now could feel racing through him. She felt his blood catch fire with it, his body being consumed from the inside.  
  
Ferlias's mind opened to her and she was subjected to the nightmare that was the youkai lord's legacy. The blood drenched memories that had been Ferlias's response to this plane of existence revolted her to the very core of her soul, atrocities unlike any she had encountered assailed her mind and still she could not bring herself to find joy in the creature's destruction. The helpless cries of Ferlias's countless victims reverberated inside of her, colored by the nauseating pleasure he found in such things. His mind played out every act of betrayal against the individual mikos that he had a hand in, his many successes only adding to his enjoyment of the things he could do to cause pain in any way. Kagome's mind reeled with the perverted truths that occupied Ferlias's mind. He had never come to this plane with any other concept then to destroy everything that neared him, even those that opted to join him in the blood bath were not immune to his hunger for the agony that could only be derived from living things. There was nothing in him at all that could be called a higher being, nothing that even closely brought to mind that he ever had been one in the first place. All that Ferlias was inside could only be described as a vast pair of vicious teeth that hungered to be fed though feeding such a thing would not satisfy its want for more, for all eternity it yearned for what could not possibly sate it.  
  
~ Kill it! ~ Hissed the mikos that still found pleasure in this death.  
  
~ BE SILENT! ~ Kagome ordered them firmly, finished with their pettiness. ~ I am not like you; I only do this because it has to be done not because I need revenge. If I were as you wish me to be then I would have sought my revenge for what I am against all of you! ~  
  
There came a stillness inside of her that left a definite impression that the mikos though shocked by her words understood her meaning completely. From Midoriko there came a sense of approval and admiration. Kagome pushed away the flutter of self-pride that rose inside of her turning her attention back to destroying Ferlias.  
  
The youkai's robes were blackening slowly. What she could see of his skin was cracked and bleeding profusely, flares of energy sparked from the splits from time to time searing more and more of it. She wanted to stop, unable to cope with the damage she was causing, but she was encouraged by the mikos who knew this must be done, understood her aversion to it, and yet compelled her to finish this task.  
  
With an ear-piercing roar Ferlias ripped himself away from Kagome who stumbled forward as she lost her grip on her sword and fell to her hands and knees. She did not allow herself to interrupt the flow of energies, finding it simple to keep sending it into the youkai's body. Ferlias's face was covered with the same fissures that she had seen on his neck, blood ran from each one, his skin bubbled and fell away as he glared hatefully at her.  
  
"I...will...never...let you...win" Ferlias growled in pain.  
  
Kagome ignored him, standing slowly and forcing herself to witness the totality of what her powers did to him. She had no desire to speak with him, to attempt any show of exchanging banter. She was just as sickened by herself as she was by him and there was no possibility for her to discard the knowledge of her transgression against another being, even if that being happened to be one such as Ferlias.  
  
She noted that there were tiny wisps of smoke coming from Ferlias now and was not surprised when suddenly he was ablaze with a fire that burned ferociously. She watched this, coldly accepting the censure of some of the mikos for caring at all how Ferlias died. All that mattered to them was that he suffered; all that mattered to Kagome was that she was the cause of what made him suffer. She felt tears of remorse slip down her cheeks. His agonized bellows cut her deeply, each sound tearing at her soul but she refused to turn away.  
  
She was so caught up in her emotions that when Ferlias's hand reached out and grasped her she did not react. Only when the flames of her own power began to consume her as well did she attempt to fight back weakly. Ferlias drew her into an unbreakable, intimate embrace. She was consumed with him barely noticing the pain, emptying herself of the powers inside of her that she now loathed. 


	52. A Farewell And A Hope

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
Hiraikotsu watched the sacrifice of the miko Kagome with a sense of wonder and an undeniable wrongness. His wielder, Sango, was horrified by it. The hanyou and monk seemed crazed and fought against he and Inutashio as they restrained them. Hiraikotsu easily held the monk back with one arm thrown across his chest while Inutashio had been forced to wrap his large arms around his son tightly. He could not understand what had just occurred. He could not get the agony on the face of the miko before Ferlias had grabbed her out of his mind. The entire affair was clouded in a mist of human emotion and reaction that to him was perplexing.  
  
"Please Inuyasha there is nothing you can do!" Inutashio pleaded.  
  
"Kagome!" shouted Inuyasha straining against his father futilely.  
  
Hiraikotsu felt the monk relax as the last of Ferlias and Kagome disappeared in a cloud of miko energy, leaving a large scorch mark on the ground as they only sign of their titanic struggle and death. Hiraikotsu turned to the monk just as he slipped boneless to his knees, his eyes vacant as he stared at the mark on the ground. The way the monk just gazed out reminded him of many times that Inutashio had looked after a miko died. It held the same hopelessness in it that tore even at his youkai heart.  
  
Hiraikotsu looked over as Inutashio released his son who sprinted to the scorched earth then fell to his knees beside it, his hand going out to touch the spot slowly.  
  
~ Go to him Inutashio ~ Hiraikotsu suggested firmly.  
  
~ And say what my friend? That I protected her for so long only to allow her to die? ~ Inutashio asked, his voice full of guilt.  
  
~ What could you have done? Even as you are now THAT power would have consumed you as well had you even attempted to save her! ~ He snapped.  
  
~ I could have tried damn it! ~ Inutashio returned.  
  
~ Then we would have more then her to mourn Inutashio...and you would have been the larger loss. ~ Hiraikotsu said grimly.  
  
Inutashio looked over at him and scowled darkly, ~ I am dead! What more of a loss would it have been?! ~  
  
~ You are a fool, do you not realize what you have meant to this world? What you have released into the destinies of those who come into contact with you? ~ He glowered at his friend ~ If not for you that miko would have been lost a long time ago and would have never lived up to her potential. She achieved what no other has ever come close to achieving. Ferlias is gone. She has fulfilled her destiny, would you deny her the peace she wanted or did you not feel the awful enormity of her pain?! ~  
  
~ And what in that can I tell my son to ease his sorrow? ~  
  
Hiraikotsu snorted annoyed ~ Tell him the truth...that she was the greatest of all mikos and she loved him. ~  
  
Inutashio sighed sadly and unhurriedly began walking over to his son whose back shook with suppressed emotions.  
  
Hiraikotsu sighed his own confusion then felt his wielder's want to be with the monk, to share and comfort each other. Her grief communicated itself to him and he was filled with a weariness that called to him.  
  
~ I am sorry for your loss. ~  
  
~ Thank you Hiraikotsu...for everything ~ Sango replied, even her mental voice rough with grief.  
  
Without further words Hiraikotsu released his hold on Sango's mind and slipped gratefully from the world of mortals and their eternal struggles.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sango sighed as Hiraikotsu's presence left her completely. It had been no strain to be a part of the youkai; their personalities were very similar. It had been comforting to have him so close and now she was left alone to deal with the aftermath of Kagome's death. Tears stung her eyes but she refused to allow them to come. It seemed an insult to cry over a death so noble and she would not tainted the sacrifice of her friend in such a manner.  
  
She looked down at Miroku who still seemed in a trance.  
  
"Miroku?" She prompted, hearing the waver in her voice and not caring.  
  
"It should not have been this way..." Miroku whispered.  
  
She knelt down beside him, hating the way his skin had turned ashen in shock. She softly reached out and stroked his cheek. He turned his eyes to her's and she barely held herself back from flinching. His eyes were pools of bewilderment and misery.  
  
"You do not understand. SHE was never meant to die, she was the last of them and the last was meant to live on to complete other tasks for herself." Miroku informed her.  
  
Something in the way he spoke ignited a spark of hope inside of Sango. She grabbed Miroku's wrist and heaved him to his feet, her heart beating loudly in her ears.  
  
"Inutashio!" 


	53. Inuyasha's Grief, Inuyasha's Joy

Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters  
  
It was too much for him to grasp. So much had happened in just a few days time; so much had been lost in a heartbeat. He would never be redeemed, would never again be able to reach out to her, as he needed to. He had lost his chance, it had turned to ash just as her body had and there was nothing that could bring her back to him.  
  
Inuyasha gently stirred the ash with his fingertips numbly. He could not even bring himself to be angry with his father for keeping him from trying to save Kagome. It did not matter because in the end she was dead and he was still alive. There was no changing the course of what had happened, no going back and fixing what had gone so terribly wrong. The image of her face was imprinted deeply into his memories and he knew for the rest of his life he would have nightmares of this day, of her tormented expression.  
  
He heard his father approach and stop right behind him but could not bring himself to move from the last spot she had been alive in; not yet anyway.  
  
"She use to yell at me for just about everything" Inuyasha said, his throat constricting with tears that would not come, "I think I drove her crazy with all the fighting I do. Before all of this I imagined she must hate me for how stubborn I can be over little things but now I know she just teased me. Do you think she knows I know that?"  
  
This last part seemed a catalyst because his voice deepened and the tears began to flow unabashedly. It was not a release; it made his grief deeper, made his pain unendurable. He held to the pain as if it might bring her back. The weight of his prayer beads on his wrist only reminded him of how completely he had failed her.  
  
"All that time I wasted, all the things I wanted to say to her but never did...does she know it all now father? Can she hear me, hear everything I intended for her to know?" He hated the way his outburst sounded but needed to know what he asked.  
  
"Yes Inu...where she is she cannot help but hear what your heart says to her" Inutashio replied, his own voice gruff.  
  
A small sliver of relief went through Inuyasha but it was not enough, would never be enough to console him.  
  
"Inutashio!" yelled Sango.  
  
Inuyasha jumped to his feet and turned to find Sango dragging Miroku over to them. Sango's face was tight with some unknown emotion when she reached them but her eyes shined as if she knew something.  
  
"Go on...tell them what you told me" Sango urged Miroku.  
  
Confused Inuyasha stared at Miroku expectantly. The monk scowled.  
  
"As if I need to tell Inutashio something he already knows" huffed Miroku.  
  
"What do you mean?" Inutashio asked.  
  
Inuyasha resisted the urge to strangle his friend barely.  
  
"She was not supposed to die. It was not in her destiny to die at the hands of Ferlias." Miroku said as if to a child.  
  
"Wait...she wasn't..." Inuyasha began even more confused and looked at his father.  
  
Inutashio at first looked angry and then ever so slowly he began to smile. Inuyasha's heart began to beat wildly though he did not know why his father seemed so happy suddenly.  
  
"No matter what I did they cannot change Kagome's destiny Inuyasha and if she were not meant to die here..." Inutashio explained.  
  
"Then she could not possibly have been killed," said a mature woman's voice behind them.  
  
Inuyasha whirled to be greeted by a sight that left him breathless with elation. Kee in her familiar outfit, though now her features not like Kagome's, stood in the center of the scorch mark holding Kagome in her arms. She smiled openly at Inuyasha who could not take his eyes off of her burden.  
  
"Well are you going to take her from me hanyou or shall I just take her back?" Kee asked teasingly.  
  
Inuyasha bound over to her only to find himself afraid to touch Kagome as he looked down at her face. A new scar in the shape of a star stood out on her neck behind her ear. He traced it lightly then looked at Kee as if asking her permission. She chuckled indulgently then pushed Kagome into Inuyasha's arms. Her scent flooded his senses and he buried his face into her hair, holding her as tightly as he dared to his chest. After an eternity in which he released his pain Inuyasha finally raised his head to find Kee watching him.  
  
"You know that if it were not for you Inuyasha she would not have won" Kee commented.  
  
Inuyasha snorted, "You know that if it were not for you we wouldn't have gotten captured by Usuti in the first place"  
  
Kee chuckled then sobered quickly, "She needs to sleep Inuyasha. Unfortunately she was not ready to deal with what had to be done to Ferlias so we have made her memories of the battle hazy. She is a very special person; I wish I had had her strength when I was alive. She pitied Ferlias in the end."  
  
Inuyasha looked down at Kagome and felt a smile tug at his lips, "She would"  
  
"There is one more task to complete and this is finally at an end." Kee informed him.  
  
"What?! There is more?!" he yelped jerking his head up.  
  
"Nothing quite so life threatening Inuyasha" Kee assured him then looked over at Inutashio.  
  
"We have to suppress the previous incarnations Inu...you, Miroku, and Kagome cannot function with the others aware inside of you." Inutashio supplied.  
  
"What about Sango?" Inuyasha asked unhappy with the idea of being messed with.  
  
"I never was really involved in this Inuyasha...Hiraikotsu was" Sango explained blushing.  
  
Inuyasha snorted, "Figures" 


	54. Epilogue

A/N: Thank you all for every review and encouragement, I do apologize for how long it took me to finish Kagome and Ferlias's battle...I got writer's block :S. Anyway I just wanted you all to know that you helped me tremendously and I hope the story ended better then it began. Happy reading...Be safe. dragonfly-rising  
  
Always My Soul  
  
By: dragonfly-rising  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters.  
  
Epilogue  
  
Inuyasha stood beside Inutashio and Kee watching his friends sleeping around the campfire. It had not taken them long to leave the site of the tragic battle, all of them wishing to be done with it. Once well away they had set up camp, laying Kagome close to Sango who took less then a heartbeat to fall into a deep sleep, her hand extended towards the sleeping girl. Miroku soon followed their example leaving a dead youkai lord, a dead miko, and a hanyou alone to watch over them.  
  
"I still don't understand Kee, why didn't she die?" Inuyasha finally asked.  
  
"The higher beings already intervened once to save the original soul, they could not intercede again no matter if Inutashio did expose her to his power. She was meant to survive the battle but she felt the need to endure the pain she inflicted upon Ferlias, being as empathic as she is...it was not something she was willing to turn from." Kee explained in a low voice.  
  
"And Miroku? How did he know that she was suppose to survive?" He asked.  
  
"His original soul was well versed in destinies. The line of an interrupted destiny can only be broken for so long and there is always a reward for the one who resolves such a thing. She was the last...the one who did so. There is no dodging a universe set on repaying you." Inutashio supplied with a chuckle.  
  
Inuyasha smiled then sobered quickly, "Will I remember you...after I mean?"  
  
Inutashio sighed quietly, "Not as a clear memory my son. Unfortunately that is a price I must pay for breaking natural laws."  
  
Inuyasha nodded as he accepted that his memory of his father would fade as if it had never taken place though he did so with a heavy heart. After all that had come to pass he had hoped to know more of his father, to find out what kind of person he really was instead of the warped view he had held onto for so very long. It was a disappointment that he knew he would probably never really remember anyway.  
  
"None of us will really know what happened here." He asked ignoring the lump that had risen to his throat.  
  
"It is for the best Inuyasha...would you really prefer that you recalled seeing her die? Would you wish her to remember every moment of Ferlias's death? Would you wish Miroku to remember that Sango almost died herself, or for Sango to remember what it felt like to be engulfed by Kagome's darkest emotions in the clearing?" Kee asked  
  
"That isn't the point Kee...these things are important, they brought us together more then we have ever been. Even though it would mean that I would have to always carry with me what you and Miroku told me about Kagome I would not trade any of my memories of this time. Someone has to remember." Inuyasha answered quietly.  
  
"You would be willing to face your demons Inuyasha?" She asked curiously.  
  
Inuyasha snorted, "I do every day Kee, that's part of life"  
  
Kee chuckled, "He is definitely your son Inutashio, I will take my leave now of both of you."  
  
"Kee" Inuyasha spoke to stop her.  
  
Her light blue eyes took his full measure as she looked at him expectantly and he wondered for a moment what he intended to say to her. There was so much he wanted her to know; so much he yearned to explain to her.  
  
"Thank you" He finally settled on.  
  
Kee bowed her head slightly to him. Then with a mischievous smile she held up her hand, which began to glow pink with miko energy. Inuyasha gulped nervously.  
  
"Kee what are you doing?" He squeaked.  
  
"Only repairing the last of the broken destinies Inuyasha, repaying a favor you might say," Kee said with obvious amusement.  
  
Inuyasha flinched as something tugged at his wrist. An all too familiar weight settled around his neck and the thrill of a miko spell activating jolted through him. He gasped, his eyes rounding in shock, his hand going to his neck to find the prayer beads. Kee chuckled again. He mock growled at the miko but he knew his heart was not in it.  
  
"So it is set?" He asked nervously.  
  
"I think Kagome is the only one who could answer that correctly", Kee answered looking behind her self.  
  
A lovely face appeared from over her shoulder, one full of light hearted enjoyment. Inuyasha smiled in response only to feel the returning frustration as Kagome uttered the hated/adored word.  
  
"SIT!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Long after Kee had left to take her place with the other mikos, and he had completed his task of fading the memories of the quartet Inutashio found himself watching them sleep. He had left only Sango with a more comprehensive memory warning her to not remind the others of what had transpired. Sango had been most reluctant to forget the soul of his friend and Inutashio had relented feeling that at least one of them should remember, should be able to understand everything that had happened. He knew in the future there would be instances when Inuyasha would resort back to his augmented thought process becoming withdrawn for no reason he could fathom himself, that at times a dark shadow would pass over Kagome's face and there would be no reasoning with her depression, moments that the monk would cling more tightly to all of them seeming desperate for human contact, of all of them Sango would understand and be able to help them through these trouble occasions.  
  
He looked at his wayward son and smiled to himself, allowing the moment to fill him completely. Then he looked to the sky and simply faded from this plane of existence, knowing that Inuyasha would make him even yet prouder.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kagome awoke with a start, sitting straight up. She looked around her, her mind still befuddled with sleep. Everyone was sleeping soundly, deep within their own dreams, though for some reason they all had moved closer to her shunning the warmth of the fire. Sango's hand laid mere inches from where her own had been moments before. Miroku was not as far as he should have been from the sleeping youkai exterminator, his face relaxed in sleep. Inuyasha lay near her feet, his arm curled under his head. The hanyou's ears twitched for a moment then were still. She looked at her strange friends with a bemused smile coming to her face then gazed up at the night sky.  
  
~ Have I forgotten something? ~ She asked herself still more asleep then awake.  
  
The feeling passed a moment later and she shook her head in amusement with herself. She quietly laid back down and sighed falling asleep to dream of a kind man in a long robe that reminded her slightly of someone else. 


	55. Author's Note: Mikos

Always My Soul: Author's Note  
  
Dragonfly-rising  
  
After I received a certain review I thought it might be a good idea to put a little add on explaining my concept of the origins of the mikos as a whole just to make it clearer to those that read the story. The idea really is based on the idea of cause and affect. Since the displacement of the original miko soul caused the higher beings to warp the powers of that soul to be a counter balance to what Ferlias was born into the world with it would only stand to reason that after it being reborn so many times and that Ferlias was at times sealed inside the Void the miko power itself would decrease at times creating less powerful mikos and increase at times creating those like Midoriko, think of it like tides coming in against a beach and I'm sure you will get what I mean. I really was not going for the mikos to be anything more than priestesses but I think that it may have been overlooked that a priestess is the representative of gods or goddesses or in this case higher beings which as I understand it are to be taken as such powerful beings. Either way it is more about whether there was a need for such power at any given time and so a miko would only be powerful if their given divinities decided it was time for them to be so. Just look at the fact that Kikyo was a powerful miko and in my story destined to face Ferlias before she died, but Kaede who quiet obviously is a miko in her own right was not half as powerful as her sister.  
  
Here's another thought...ever wonder Who watches over Miroku I mean he is a priest after all. Hmmm maybe there is another story in that...oh back to what I was saying.  
  
My intention was never to make the mikos seem like goddesses. What is expressed in my story is a culmination of ALL the miko's powers since for each incarnation there was a uniqueness to that particular miko's power which when finally combined in Kagome became an all inclusive power. She is not made into a goddess she simply becomes a more pure aspect of the higher beings purpose for her (she is blessed) and so she becomes more enhanced.  
  
Hope that clears it up a bit more and I am more then willing to answer any other thoughts on my story that may not have been clear enough.  
  
Happy reading and Be safe. 


End file.
